So I am having an elective c section in 6 days!!!!
DS will be 20 months. When we made he decision for another baby DS was an angel child but seems to now be in the 'toddler' stage. He seems alert enough to misbehave but doesn't understand reason just yet so an awkward time.
I seem to suddenly have realised I will be wrangling him and trying to take care of a newborn. I keep looking around our tiny living room not even knowing where I am going to put this one. And I am really struggling to get through the housework and if I have appointments struggling to get out the door on time. This is just with one.
I am terrified of being stuck in the house unable to get out. DS at the moment is so messy and rough. I can't leave new baby on the floor - where can I put it? I have been struggling a bit with this pregnancy which I think is why I struggle with housework but I am not sure if that is true or just an excuse.
So many other mothers seem to be do much more on top of it then me - I don't for a second think I am the worst mother in the world but I am certainly not the best.
Can anyone else whose had 2 under 2 give me any advice? Is it as hard as I'm imagining? Any tips to make it easier?
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01-08-2013 05:24 #1
2 under 2 suddenly freaking out!!!
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the very last country song (01-08-2013)
01-08-2013 05:30 #2
I only have one and she's still little but can I suggest wearing your baby, or wear your toddler to give bub some time on the floor. There are plenty of hubbers who are much more knowledgable than me about baby wearing. You could also put bub in a swing if your toddler will listen to "don't touch" - it means bub won't accidentally get stood or sat on by a well meaning but clumsy toddler.
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01-08-2013 05:51 #3Senior Member
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I am in almost exactly the same predicament as you! It is my due date today so I'll probably be induced next Wednesday if bub doesn't arrive on its own, and my little girl will be 21 months. She used to be the most amazingly behaved and delightful child but has suddenly started with the tantrums and testing boundaries etc. I think more than anything you just can't put too much pressure on yourself - this parenting thing is a very individual thing and in 20 yrs time your kids aren't gonna look back and say they were loved any less because the housework didn't get done.
As for me, I am also a bit scared, I plan to just try and maximise the time I have when hubby is home or when the eldest is asleep for the night - I.e. have a shower at night instead of the morning, cook/prep dinners in advance during those times etc and basically do anything I can in advance that i would normally struggle with on my own...oh and I won't be venturing out with both kids on my own until I feel a little more in control.
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01-08-2013 05:54 #4
OP you sound a bit stressed. I don't have 2 under 2, but DS1 was just over 2 when DS2 was born. Babywearing has been my saviour! DS2 is now 3.5 months and pretty much spends most of his time attached to me. He only gets put down on the floor or in the swing when I can supervise him with DS1. Wearing him means I don't have to worry about trying to settle him to sleep with a rowdy toddler - he just sleeps when he needs in the wrap and I have 2 hands free to wrangle my toddler and get cleaning etc done. TBH most of the time you wouldn't even know DS2 is around, he is so quiet and content in a carrier. It does get tiring, so I usually feed him to sleep on my bed when DS1 has his day nap. That way I get a bit of time to myself while they both have a nap.
The hardest part I have found with having a 2yo and newborn was 'arsenic hour' in the afternoons when DS2 just wants to feed, feed, feed. It is always around the time I'm mean't to be getting dinner ready/ bathing DS1 etc. So I have started getting dinner ready in the early afternoons, and do lots of slow cooker meals etc that don't take much preparation and will last a couple of nights. We also have lots of baked beans on toast nights
ETA: getting out of the house with 2 can be tough. I always try to make sure I have the nappy back packed and ready to go the night before, and always have snacks etc in there for the toddler incase we have to rush out the door before he's finished breaky or whatever.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 01-08-2013 at 06:05.
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01-08-2013 06:00 #5
I had 2 under 2 when DD came DS1 was only 14 months! It worked out ok don't stress it's not as bad as it sounds
01-08-2013 06:14 #6
My ds1 was 15 months when ds2 came along and he was amazing of course there were times that he wasn't but just run with it just relax things will be ok.
I put ds2 down all the time and just explained to ds1 to be careful dont use no all the time as that's when they rebel coz they think the new bub is causing all these no's (hopefully you get what I'm saying)
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01-08-2013 06:28 #7Senior Member
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- Jul 2013
Honestly it's not that bad and it only get's better. I found it was more of what people wre warning me about that freaked me out. "omg 2 under 2..."....like it's something crazy and insane to have to deal with. It's not. Dont listen to them.
I love having them so close in age and so little together.
You figure out what works for you and what doesnt. Use your common sense - dont leave the baby on the floor with the toddler. Trust your instincts. Be confident. Be super organised - always a step ahead.
My Toddler was still having a 3hr nap during the day. I would work my bub in a routine to have him sleep at the same time. They still go down at the same time now (toddler sleeps 2hrs now). So i got plenty rest and time to tidy up ect.
I was more confident with two than i was with one.
If you're worried about being stuk at home, a walk around the block will do you all good. Toddler gets outdoors, baby gets fresh air which promotes sleep. Mum gets exercise and a bit of confidence - we got out of the house!
Goodluck and really, it's not that bad! Have fun!
Last edited by the very last country song; 01-08-2013 at 06:36.
01-08-2013 06:45 #8
There's 17 months between DS1 and DS2. So I have a 20 month old toddler and 3 month old baby. And an almost 5 year old DD.
It's absolutely crazy! I am really struggling some days. We barely leave the house, unless DH comes with us. But we do make it through, somehow! The house is a pigsty, dinner sometimes gets forgotten over the course of the day and we end up having a BBQ chook from Coles and a throw together salad, or ham and cheese toasties. The washing pile is a little bigger, and the kitchen is always messy. I just do what is absolutely necessary and the rest just has to wait.
DS2 has really struggled with the transition to being a big brother. He is now only 3 months later getting a bit better. For the first 5 weeks he was joined to DH at the hip, he refused to be put down, he really regressed with his independence. He is still super clingy and whingy.
Sorry if I'm scaring you! Some people seem to breeze through having two under two but I am struggling with it! Hopefully you're one of the lucky ones
01-08-2013 06:47 #9
Oh and I wear them both a lot. DS2 rarely gets floor time as DS1 is so rough and clumsy I can't leave him there. And then when DS2 is asleep I try to wear DS1 as he gets a bit jealous of his little brother!
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01-08-2013 07:18 #10
Hi OP there is a year between my kids , it was planned and I loved it and still do , I really really do . I also had a c section my recovery was great and caused me no problems I was still able to pick up my son and do things with him after my daughter was born I just kept it to a minimum and did it safely .
Of course there are some hard days but truly , compared to how horrifying everyone told me it would be well its been a walk in the park in comparison . Everyone was quite negative telling me I was nuts it would be so hard etc etc so I was pleasantly surprised . My son wasn't sleeping through when my daughter came along , he was still feeding all through the night I remember having him on my lap feeding him while my daughter was on the floor in you bouncer and I was rocking her with my feet trying to soothe her , then having to run my son back to his room , come back feed the baby , running from room to room all night , it seems crazy now but I survived it . You get by somehow someway . Don't be afraid to ask for help if you have bad days even it it's just a cry or vent to a friend, or getting some support on bubhub .
I put the baby in a bouncer on the floor during day times or if she was on the floor I just stayed very close ensuring my son didnt step on her . I also wore her in a sling lots.
As for getting out and about I began doing that immediately as I was really anxious about it so just dove into it straight away instead of worrying about it all the time . It was hectic , I had heaps of days where a basket of shopping was left at the service desk and I had to come back home and try again another day , or when both kids were crying and carrying on and I felt really frazzled and overwhelmed but practice and experience at it worked wonders . I learnt what worked , what didn't , easier ways to do things , and the hugest thing , I gained confidence , I lost that worry of people looking or what people would think and didn't care if it all turned to crap and I had to come home . I also tried to never rush which is great if you don't have deadlines like school runs or appointments etc . Everything just took as long as it took . It helped me be more patient with the kids and not feel flustered. I throw them in the car and we are now out and about 2-3 times a day , everyday now , they love it and its very easy now !
For me housework comes last , I do just enough daily tidying to help me feel not too anxious that's it's untidy but I've just had to lower my standards a little for my sanity , I want to cherish every moment , I already feel sad at the thought of my kids being at school one day and not home with me so I just really want to just enjoy every minute and everything else can go on the back burner a little . They are only 3 and 2 but time goes so quickly .
Good luck with it all , I think amid the hard times that come with a second child you'll also really love the experience ! Xxoo
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