I still don't think that it's helpful for other members to point out that other members gave up BF for the wrong reasons (due to incorrect info for example). We already feel enough guilt, as you know. I realise FTM might not be one of the more vulnerable FFs out there, and don't consider myself to be one either, but there are plenty on here who really struggle and beat themselves up about it.
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08-08-2013 15:57 #301
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08-08-2013 16:10 #302
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08-08-2013 16:11 #303
I get what some of you are saying, but I just can't bring myself to agree. What if someone gives up BF unnecessarily and is never properly informed? They may go on to misinform others, they may have another baby and make further decisions based on that misinformation.
I get incredibly annoyed when people speak of "lack of supply" as an urban myth. It's not, I know first hand that it's not. But I also know that you can only find out for sure if you're equipped with real knowledge.
08-08-2013 16:15 #304
Last edited by Atropos; 08-08-2013 at 16:17.
08-08-2013 16:17 #305
I might add, the fact that some women are defensive about their feeding journeys speaks volumes about the unsympathetic and judgmental waters they've had to navigate.
While I don't believe it's useful to turn a blind eye to misinformation, I also acknowledge that plowing down vulnerable women with facts and figures that negate their experience isn't useful either.
08-08-2013 16:42 #306
We need to fund much more tangible support, and accept there will be always women that don't want to bf... and that's ok! We can't brow beat to increase the rates. We need to support those that are struggling more, and allow those that want to formula their choice without judgment. When that happens there will no longer be these debates.
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08-08-2013 16:45 #307
And I agree. The defensiveness of some ffers really does show the flack we put up with. The stuff I have read on BH over the years has been very sad.
08-08-2013 17:06 #308-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I agree with Atropos. I think sometimes bad education and support in hospital/following a birth leads to misunderstandings and many mothers unecessarily giving up bf'ing. Babies do lose weight in the first week. And feed like crazy to bring milk in. And sometimes milk doesn't come in until day 4-5.
I don't think Big red was being rude. She was simply correcting information that may be misinterpreted by new mums.
08-08-2013 17:30 #309
When the nurse came for my home visit, she did not watch me feed, nor did she give me any bf advice, or offer the option of LC to me, despite myself and DH expressing concerns about her constant screaming and apparent dehydration. Instead she advised me that I had birthed an "angry baby", and there wasn't much I could do about that. She even called DD an "angry baby" in her blue book!
It was only after I ran from the clinic in floods of humiliated tears that I was introduced to the LC, and in the end I think it was too late. They offered me a feeding and settling program if I could hold out a few more weeks. Considering DD had dry crystals in her nappy and a mum who was nearing the end of her coping ability, a few more weeks was too many.
Had I had the support and information on hand in those early days, perhaps I would have lasted longer. DS got a few months out of me as I had more information under my belt. I also have supply issues, and tbh I am not terribly dedicated to the actual task either. I still wonder though, would my journey had been different if I knew that LCs existed, or motilium, or cluster feeds, or nipple shields!
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08-08-2013 17:37 #310
Also, this is why I always get upset when the "just didn't try hard enough" style comments and insinuations get thrown about. Not specifically in this thread, I mean in general. I tried damn hard. So do the majority of mums. Often, it is less "not trying" and more "not supported or educated".
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