Formula may not be my personal preference but I see no reason for you for to feel guilty about it.
I can't claim to relate to the emotional challenges some FF mums face,I fell on the breast side of the fence by luck rather than skill or virtue. It was just easy to feed my DD and I learned to love BF from that.
But I do have some intuitive sense of how it feels when your choice isn't the most socially accepted and/or not advised by the majority of health authorities in this country.
I co sleep with my newborn son. There is much research and or discussion to suggest that this is not the safest sleeping environment for him. SIDS advises that he sleep in his own space in my room, not in my bed. Other mothers give me 'that look'..
Do I shy away or reject this information because it frightens me & challenges my choice?
Absolutely not! I seek out this research and go over it with a fine tooth comb so that I can make my choice as safe and beneficial as humanly possible for him. I want to know everything I can because it allows me to perform the most accurate risk/benefit analysis for my family.
This information isnt there to cause me guilt or distress, these uncomfortable truths make me a better mother. I see no value in shushing discussion lest we inadvertently offend someone.
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08-08-2013 09:09 #291Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
Last edited by Mathermy; 08-08-2013 at 09:12.
08-08-2013 09:15 #292
Fwiw. .I don't think bigred was being rude. She was simply pointing out about the weight loss.
Firsttimemummy..perhaps she thought you didn't realise it was normal being s first time mummy. As a first time mummy I certainly didn't realise it was.
I think others may be rude about ff but I don't think she was.
And honestly. .. since being on bh myself I have only found a handful of posters who have said negative things about ff. The majority are quite positive about feeding choices. I have seen more people be encouraging to others. .. and myself included than be judgemental.
I hate when the minority win out.. basically talk the loudest.
And although I've thought people were judging my choices at times I doubt it. I've never had anyone...a stranger say anything to me about my feeding choices.
In light of the op...I think as others have said the word 'resort' gave a negative connotation. But perhaps didn't mean to.
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08-08-2013 09:32 #293
08-08-2013 09:34 #294-
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
First time mummy I just PM'd you, wont GP into detail here as this thread seems heated enough as it is.
Just going to publicly announce our BF journey was very similar to first time mummy's, and i think if you haven't been in the exact same situation before, you're not in a position to pass judgment on the decisions made by mothers who have.
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08-08-2013 09:41 #295
08-08-2013 09:43 #296-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I think because this thread is in the general parenting section, there will be a mix of opinions, and not everyone will offer support for each other's decisions.
A parent who has made the decision to circ, for example, probably won't find support in every section of bubhub.
Last edited by 1234Guest; 08-08-2013 at 09:55.
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Stiflers Mom (08-08-2013)
08-08-2013 09:48 #297
To answer the OP I would (and have) happily use formula if I couldn't BF or needed to supplement. I don't like the idea of using another woman's milk and honestly never felt it was necessary as I have every confidence in formula as a fabulous substitute for breast milk.
"Resort" is certainly not a word I've ever felt the need to use in this context.
Last edited by lambjam; 08-08-2013 at 09:54.
08-08-2013 11:33 #298
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08-08-2013 15:38 #299
You go to hospy and give birth. They tell you breast is best. They help you with that first bf, then you are off to the ward where they leave you. A while later someone comes in, mashes bubs face to your boob to get a good latch, then leaves. Next feed you are desperately trying to mash bubs face on the same was as last time when a mid comes in tut tutting and talking about nipple to nose etc... And when you've had every method there is thrown at you and are up in the wee hours with a screaming newborn who wants hourly feeds, you start to question if you're making enough milk. Probably because no one told you to expect this (this has been my experience) as a part of bringing your milk in. A seemingly helpful nurse might offer a formula top up or two- but in reality this is going to hinder your supply while it's still establishing. (Again, my experience).
You get home and still have this baby that seems to want to feed constantly. You haven't been told about cluster feeding etc so again you question your supply. You try to pump and get only a few mls- this seals the deal- you aren't making enough (even though pumping is no indicator of supply) so you head off to the GP. The GP prescribes motilium, but at too low a dose to really help with lactation as Australian GPs aren't used to using it this way. It might help a bit, but many GPs are uncomfortable prescribing it for bf for very long (like mine) especially when they realise you're taking it at a higher dose (as you're supposed to for lactation). You see a chn who says baby has lost too much weight, time to start formula top ups. In amongst all this the GP cuts off the motilium, tells you to just give up bf and ff.
I could add a heap more examples and scenarios, but the reality is, while our hospitals tell us breast is best, they don't adequately educate or support us in breastfeeding. There is no consistency. Our health professionals are often uneducated about breastfeeding and their role as a potential support for a breastfeeding mum. I have been treated awfully for ff my first by midwives who were happy to criticise my decision to switch but were not willing to listen to me when I told them DD was tongue tied (severely) and let her get jaundiced to the point of needing the special care nursery because bf was clearly not working- I believe this was because I was very young and a FTM.
I firmly believe that policies surrounding breastfeeding within our healthcare system (and all it's many facets from hosp to gps to community nurses) need to be overhauled. There is no point to a "breast is best" message if the healthcare system spouting it doesn't consistently help mothers achieve this and conversely, it needs to recognise that sometimes, breast is not best and stop stigmatising mothers who cannot breastfeed for whatever reason (inc personal choice of course).
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08-08-2013 15:52 #300
Yes I agree Atropos. I think sometimes what seems like a lack of supply is nothing more than normal bfing behaviour. I believe as we lose that bfing knowledge from past generations (only one women in both sides bf so I had no one to help me or give me advice) we lack support. Middies are too busy and they do give mixed info that is often in opposition.
But I believe the problem could be solved from more funding for LC's and middies. Not from demonising formula. I know you didn't mean that. But that seems to be a prominent tactic of the ABA - to bag formula, which then creates guilt, resentment and women getting defensive.
Train the middies better in bfing. Give us more LC's. Make GP's do more modules on bfing at uni. That is what is going to work. Bc demonising formula..... the ones that didn't want to bf don't care anyway, and the ones that did want to bf just feel like sh*t. So that tactic doesn't work.
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