woah it's ok relax. No one said you should feel guilty for your BFP, infact I said you don't need need to apologise to her bc you are pg. People were just suggesting you give her some space and she'll come around.
Far out, time to unsub
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30-07-2013 14:14 #41
30-07-2013 14:17 #42
30-07-2013 14:22 #43
TBH I can totally see why the OP is getting defensive in this thread!
I think time will sort it all out x
30-07-2013 14:23 #44
It's a good thing u let her know before others that you were pregnant. I'm sure she will realise this too soon. And in time, she will feel happy and offer her congrats to you. There is nothing more annoying then someone knowing you've struggled ttc / had miscarriages and then telling u they're pregnant without any acknowledgment like "I wish we could both be pregnant" etc.
Celebrate your pregnancy with others, it's wonderful! Just give her time. It sounds like you really care about her and have made her know that u do.
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30-07-2013 14:24 #45
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30-07-2013 14:30 #46
I think most people are just giving opinions as to why she might not wanting to talk. With the email, I just thought perhaps you could have just said "I hope you're ok, we are here if you need anything". If my SIL sent me an email telling me to contact my brother I would be a little disheartened. Anyway, you are the only one who knows this. I'm sure you know how she is feeling as you have been through something similar. Fertility is hard and everyone deals with it differently. As I said earlier, I'm sure she will be happy for you, you just have to give her time and not get angry at her when it's obvious what she is dealing with.
30-07-2013 14:30 #47
I can understand both points of view but I do think you've handled it well so far OP and I think while it may take your SIL a while to come around you also have every right to be upset about her reaction, even though it's what you expected (and you haven't pushed communication since so there's really nothing more you could have done).
I told my aunt I was pregnant at the same time she was miscarrying (I didn't know) but she was so gracious about it. I did feel awful but it wasn't because she made me feel that way it was just my response to the situation.
Congrats by the way
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30-07-2013 15:17 #48Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
You've done the right thing op. I'm sure she will come around. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I know the feeling, it took us nearly 3 years for a BFP and I do remember having horrid dark days when i'd hear of someone elses pregnancy.. But don't hide it, not much you can do, wishing you a very healthy and happy pregnancy.
30-07-2013 19:03 #49
OP, you were asking if you took the wrong approach in your first post so I don't see why you're annoyed people are saying that yes, yes you did. People have shared their own experienced having found themselves in your SILs shoes, and people have offered advice on how to best deal with the situation.
I'm not sure anyone has suggested you're not allowed to be happy or excited, or that you're not worthy of congratulations. It's just that perhaps it's not the best idea to be expecting that from your SIL...
IMO, 24 hours after initially telling her is not "giving her time," and I think you'll find that if you leave her be for a while longer, she will come around, even if she's not wholeheartedly in it. You've just gotten what she wants most in the world but cannot have. Of course she's going to feel a bit "why not me?" about your news.
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