I only had my dad visit in the hospital which was all I was comfortable with. We were having attachment issues with DS so my boobs were out most of the time, and I was exhausted and feeling fugly anyway.
When we got home I felt it was quite overwhelming. DS was feeding every 2 hours for 45 minutes, but then wouldn't let me put him down for sleeps, or anytime actually. So we had a few visitors but only close family. My mum and sister visited from interstate but stayed in a motel to give me space which was fantastic, because I just wanted to rest when DS rested and wasn't up to entertaining.
After 2 weeks we tried to get out of the house for a walk and some fresh air, but DS just screamed in his pram.
We had a bigger "wet the head" when DS was 12 weeks when I felt more confident, breastfeeding was going ok, and his vaccinations were up to date.
I think it depends on the baby too. My friends have had relatively "easier" babies who sleep on their own or can be left in a bouncer awake. I'd imagine my life would've been a little easier in the earlier days if DS could've done the same.
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22-07-2013 09:36 #21
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22-07-2013 10:16 #22
Thanks so much ladies. Loads of great advice for me to consider. And probably a bit of a reality check which I think I needed! I feel as if constant visitors to the house will be worse than going out & doing a group get together for the following reasons:
- I don't want to have to keep myself or my house 'presentable'
- A group get together can be arranged around feeds (assuming I'm BFing) which gives us a bit of a time limit;
- Don't have to pass the baby around too much, everyone can just gawk at it in the pram;
- I have no issues with being a sleep deprived zombie for one public occasion rather than multiple visits to our house!
- And similarly, I only have to keep it together for that period of time, rather than daily visits!
- I'm pretty sure we will have enough visitors with the grandparents (both sides) and best friends that will demand regular visits without having to add to that;
- I almost want to force myself to get out of the house in the early days;
And this will be in addition to xmas day & boxing day family gatherings (if I'm out of hospital) - eeek!
It obviously depends on the baby & how the birth goes (my recovery), but I think I might try to organise something within the first two weeks and if I have to cancel, then so be it, but I would like to be able to avoid house visits as much as possible so need a plan!
Thanks again! Loved hearing your stories - the good, the bad & the ugly!
22-07-2013 10:26 #23
Subbing to read. Bub is due mid-end of november
22-07-2013 11:44 #24
My bub spent the first 16 days in the SCN, so no visitors besides family came to see him..
When we got home, I tried to stay put and not go far with him as I was recovering slowly from my c-section and I don't like to take bubs out too often until they have had the 6 week immunisations, that's just a thing I prefer to do though..
Archie slept well, fed well and was a very settled little man so our first weeks and months were great, still great actually!
We have had loads of visitors so far, they seem to get a bit miffed that I won't wake him if he's asleep though. Some visitors (yes, you Mum) believe their visit should come before bubbas rest!!!! lol
22-07-2013 12:18 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I might also add op, dont feel you need to have your house presentable for visitors. Dont even think about going out of your way for them.
Your priorities are you and your baby.
When we had visitors, most were family who helped themselves anyways, but when we had the odd friend come to visit DS i didnt even offer drinks. I couldnt have cared less. W had baskets of wasing around and toys everywhere. DD would be running a muck or glued to the tv watching a dvd lol.
I arranged visits for inbetween feeds which was 1.5-2hrly and in the beginning with both my babies, they would beed for upto 45mins at a time. So it left a really small gap for visitors (which was great!!). When i was due to feed him i would excuse myself and baby, say goodbye, thanks for visiting and we would dissapear to feed. DH would see them out. I could never let them hang around for the 45mins it would take for a feed and it would make me anxious and cause my milk to not let down.
If bub was sleeping, id let him be. Visitors got to have a look while he was kept in his bassenette sleeping. With my first baby, id bring her out when she was alseep for visitors....she would wake and expect a feed straight away.
OP i hope you get some good tips on here about how to handle the first few weeks. Its about the only time you can get away with being totally selfish and lazy lol. For this short time it's important to put you and your baby first. So if you're not upto anything staright away or anyday....dont push yourself to do anything. Visitors and family will understand and the ones who dont usually have not been in your position so cant relate therefore think you are being rude.
22-07-2013 12:35 #26
Something which really annoyed me with visitors is they'd say "I'll be there at 10" so I'd set my alarm (rather than just waking up when bub did), have my shower, have bub bathed and fed, ready for them to have a cuddle as soon as they got there so i could put her to bed shortly after, and they'd call at 10 and say "I'm running late, I'll be there at 11" which meant bub would likely be asleep for 1.5-2 hours when they arrived, and they'd want to hang around for ages so they could hold her once she woke up. I gritted my teeth and put up with it but if we have baby #2, I'll say "I'll text u when I'm feeding the baby and you can leave your house then, otherwise she might be asleep" - its just too much having visitors around for long periods and trying to make the baby fit their schedule with such a new baby!
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22-07-2013 12:36 #27
I personally would just wing it and see how you and bubs feel.
DS1 was a dream baby so we took him out no probs but DS2 was a bit of a nightmare so just tended to stay in.
I'm sure if you tell your family and friends that you aren't up for visitors they will understand.
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