Just wondering what your first few weeks were like with a newborn? We're you able to go out or mostly house bound? Did you introduce the baby to friends/extended family in one big hit (wet the babies head) or did you take visitors over a period of time?
Im quite nervous about this stage, and am likely to deliver around Christmas time which is a hectic time of year and probably adding to my nerves. Wondering whether we should organize a get together for post birth in order to reduce the ****** of visitors incase we are having a hard time, but is it reasonable to take a newborn out to a garden bar/cafe?
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21-07-2013 21:53 #1
Newborns: What were the first few weeks like for you?
21-07-2013 22:08 #2
I'm a midwife and I found it overwhelming!! We had too many visitors and I got exhausted. Sleep deprivation is a real shock to the system! Most babies feed Atleast 2 hourly. But the first few weeks they are generally asleep most of the time do you don't have to settle then back to sleep. They tend to wake up a bit after week 3.
I would limit your visitors, accept lots of help, don't be afraid to tell people you need space. I also didn't like lots of people handling my baby as people were inconsiderate and still came sick.
We took DD out to dinner and breakfast lots in the first few weeks when she would sleep anywhere. No problems.
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21-07-2013 22:10 #3
It depends so much on how bub is and how you're feeling at the time. Avoid making plans, you don't need the pressure of keeping them!
DD was an unsettled baby but I did get out for walks and lunch with friends. Getting out of the house is good for sanity. I would avoid large gathering of people especially if it's mostly to 'meet the baby' as little bubs are easily overstimulated and overwhelmed.
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21-07-2013 22:13 #4
The first week I was in hospital, when I got out I hid at home for a while lol. I got out from time to time, went to lunch at a cafe a few times and visited people
It took me a little while to find a nice routine (and then a bit longer to make it work with going out etc.).
We were lucky, people visited in hospital and gave us a fair bit of privacy when we got home, so it wasn't overwhelming.
We have also taken Bub to a few parties and she's handled all of that type of stuff really well
It will depend on your Bub of course, but if people drop in and are making life difficult out them to work (even rocking Bub for you so you can have a break is useful, it's even better if they'll help with chores lol).
Make sure you talk to them about the whooping cough vaccine too
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21-07-2013 23:00 #5
I think it would depend on your personality and your baby but for us, we had a few close friends and immediate family visit at home over the first couple of days, then I organised catch ups at other people's houses for groups. My parents for all of my family, MIL and FIL's for DH's. that way we got lots of visits done at once, we didn't have to worry about having a clean/tidy house. We didn't have to host it and we could leave when we were ready but we were comfy being somewhere familiar.
It worked really well, plus I found DS slept and was happy out in the early days but just don't plan to much and try and get some rest time in there to.
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21-07-2013 23:04 #6Senior Member
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I would avoid planning any large gatherings. I had a very easy pregnancy but then for no reason a troubled birth which led to a blood transfusion and therefore the first 3 weeks were hell as I had no energy and a jaundice bub who needed extra feeds.
Even if u come home in high spirits and don't suffer from the lack of sleep I wouldn't be exposing a newborn to the masses until they are imunised at 8wks.
We had closest family only for the first 5wks and people understood. Give yourself a break and decide how u feel when the time comes.
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21-07-2013 23:12 #7Senior Member
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We had our boys the week before Christmas last year - thankfully it is quite a hectic time and people had lots of plans with Christmas parties etc so the focus wasn't on us.
I agree with the PP, it depends on your personality, but this is what we did.
We didn't tell people when we were going in for the section (breech twins!) - - othet than family and close friends -and didn't announce the birth until the week later as we didn't want visitors. We stayed with my parents as we live overseas normally. We made this choice as we wanted time to bond with them and work out how to be parents without having to 'perform' for people. I also didn't want the boys to get sick - people either don't think or don't care and still showed up unwell....gggrrr.
When we announced the birth we did it by email and politely told people that we were all well and would let them know when we were ready for visitors, but in the meantime, we wanted them to save up their cuddles for when we met them.
We specifically asked for no drop ins and luckily we didn't have any for the first month.
We were happy with it generally. Some advice:
- don't wake your baby up for people to have a cuddle and don't keep them
Up to wait for people to arrive.
- just because someone arrives with a gift, you don't have to entertain them for hours. Let them know when they get there that you only have x amount of time - I used to say 'righto xx, sorry, but I have to kick you out - gotta go feed the boys', with a smile and a promise for another catch up soon
- don't 'wait' on people - unless they are special visitors - they can make their own tea and get their own biscuits, you have enough to do. They can make one for you while they are there. And while they are waiting for the kettle, they can dry the dishes.
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21-07-2013 23:23 #8
My bub is8 days old and tbh I'm finding visitors a bit of a PITA. We've mainly just had family and most people are pretty good, ie only staying 20-30min but just making conversation is killing me..,all I want to do is sleep!
DS is a pretty good feeder, but I'm not at a stage yet where I can discretely pop a nip out for a feed. I'm still at the 'whole shirt and bra off and where are my six other hands to juggle this baby and boob' stage. So factor that in too if you're planning to bf.
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22-07-2013 01:13 #9
I had DS on the 30th of December. I had about 15 visitors to the hospital in the first few days and then in the next week I had most of DHs classmates visit in small groups - over 90 people! My Mum was with me and was more overwhelmed that I was! We are quite social and I loved it. DS was a very sleepy/cuddly baby. My best friend was sick for the first two weeks so didn't meet DS until afterwards - I found people to be overly cautious and would ask for hand sanitiser etc before they had a cuddle.
We stopped at my favourite cafe for lunch on the way home from the hospital (walking) and it was negative 10 degrees. We went on with life as usual afterwards and DS is our third amigo sporting games/dinners/holidays etc
Do what you feel comfortable with and I agree with PP - Don't make plans beforehand - I had an unplanned c-section after a 3 day labor - NOT what I had hoped for!
edit - adding to the bf thing - I would take DS in to our room to feed him until I was comfortable nursing him in front of others (which took about a week or so from the right side and a month from the left side - had to use a shield etc. so would always plan to feed him from the right when out and about). Also - between 3pm and dinner time I would watch Dr Phil (HAHA) and snooze on the couch so we just told people not to come then)
Last edited by michellead; 22-07-2013 at 01:16.
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22-07-2013 06:07 #10
My DS is nearly 6 weeks. I found the hospital visitors easy; I think it was all the adrenalin and excitement
Once we got home I found that most visitors were happy to come around only if we felt up to it. To be honest I had to cancel some visits due to just not being up to it. I think a big group visit would have been exhausting, but it's up to you and how you are feeling.
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