I'm about to run away and never come back. I'm at my wits end with my 9 month old. I had a complicated pregnancy of sorts... And from the minute she popped out of me shes been difficult. She doesn't sleep, she's a fussy eater, she hates to be cuddled, she bites and screams at the top of her lungs. She will not stop moving, she cries to be picked up, you pick her up and she arches her back and screams to get down so you put her down and try to sit down with her and she screams and tries to climb her way upon me.
She screams when you put her in her high hair/car seat/ trolley....she makes her body go all floppy and heavy when you try and pick her up out of the bath if she doesn't want to get out yet.
I have to rock her asleep most times.... Half an hour of rocking for a 20 minute nap...if I'm lucky. She wakes every 20-30 mins all through the night and has done since she was born. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I just want to sleep....and sometimes never wake up.
Every single day is hard.
I have another child who is 7 and she's such a great help but I find myself relying on her too much to watch the baby whilst I do tidying etc.
i don't get any time to myself.... I have to shower with her, we co sleep because its the only way I get any sleep at all....she is with me 24/7.
I don't have any family and friends are none existent. I can't imagine putting her in daycare and her screaming and crying all day for me... It'd break my heart.
hubby works hard and just cannot/won't help out. I'm the woman and his is my job... His is to bring in the money.
Baby had has a few medical issues and is on medication which causes sleep disturbances and there isn't anything I can do about that. She is in quite a bit of pain sometimes which has caused us to make allowances for her "behaviour".... We have gone with the flow with her so to speak....doing what we need to in order for her to have any sleep at all (rocking her/co sleeping etc).
But I've seriously had enough. I can't do it anymore. Every aspect of who she is is hard work.
I have tried Everything.....all the advice in books, about eating/sleeping/behaviour. I'm a good mum, I thought I knew what I was doing, my eldest turned out amazing and I have tried as much as I can to parent this one the same... But , and don't judge me , I have found myself searching for those 3sixes on her head!!
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself,,.. Life seems so hard right now...and I know I have it easy compared to some... I know I'm just being a sook....but I don't think I ever imagined I could have a kid like this... I'm not sure I'd have had her looking back had I known
i can't stop crying.... I don't have pnd, I have had it before, I think I'm just seriously overtired.
I don't leave the house. I can't face the world. I don't go out for weeks sometimes... I have dds friends over and she goes to theirs after school sometimes... But even then I hate having to talk to their mums. I hate having people tell me to make friends. I don't want friends... I don't want to go to mums groups and talk... I get panic attacks just having people talk to me in a lift!! I don't feel worthy of their time... Especially men. I think they are just pitying me. One tries to talk to me and I go all red and can't breathe and come across as rude whilst I try not to pass out with shame.
yeah, I have issues I guess lol.
Has anyone else had a really bad baby? Please tell me they grow out of it!!!
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20-07-2013 21:00 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Last edited by Tiredmama2; 20-07-2013 at 21:02.
20-07-2013 21:12 #2
Hugs hun. I don't have any practical advice but couldn't read and run.
I hope you do receive some help and bub settles down.
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20-07-2013 21:19 #3-
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
I could have written that word for word about my DD around that age. my girl doesn't have any medical problems or medication though. I nearly lost my mind and I actually really disliked her for a good 8 months. I knew I loved her because she was mine but she was soo difficult. Others agreed and it wasnt just me that thought it. I think every situation could be different as every child and parent is but once mine started getting proper sleep at night (doing the same as yours) combined with crawling and then walking (was frustrated not being independent) it settled down considerably. I lost it and nearly ran away at Christmas so my DH and I got a baby whisperer over for 3 nights. She fixed my DH sleep,feeding and routine for us. Changed my life. DD has a big personality (now 14 months) and still difficult but since the sleeping and walking she has been SO much happier, settled and easier to manage and I am finally enjoying motherhood.
Have a look at dr sears articles on high needs babies.
I recommend going and seeing your child health nurse and possibly a stay at a centre to help with sleep, settling etc. or get a reputable baby whisperer. I can recommend mine in Brisbane and surrounding or she can do telephone or Skype
Hope you are ok. It is so hard I know.
20-07-2013 21:29 #4-
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
I should add her behaviour is getting better but she too is not happy anywhere long. Only happy in constantly new environments where she is free to run around. I had the same thing screaming in the carrier, car seat , pram, in your arms, trolley. Exhausting isn't it, never happy anywhere. It has really improved around the 1 year mark. I think they do grow out of that screaming baby stage. DD still isn't happy in these restrictive places but has learnt to cope for short periods. I guess I am learning too that this is a short period of time (frigin hope so) and that it can only get better so I am learning to keep her happy within certain boundaries.
Hang in there and get some help 😊
21-07-2013 00:06 #5
Hugs, no advice to offer unfortunately but couldn't read and not post. 😞
21-07-2013 06:23 #6
I had a terrible sleeper around the same age. It's awful.
Have you thought about daycare for a day? That would give you some respite, time out and a chance to have time alone to sleep, watch telly, clean, shop - do whatever you like! You also know that during those really tough days that you will have that to get you through.
21-07-2013 07:46 #7
There's three issues here:
1. Your DD's behaviour. I can't help with that unfortunately. I would urge you not to give up and to feel like the issues fall 100% on you.
2. You're reporting nearly every symptom of extremely high stress. When you get to the "not functioning" stage of stress/anxiety you should talk to your doctor about it. Being totally overwhelmed by things that aren't the real problem (eg: someone talking to you in the lift) if a big sign to me that physiologically you're heading towards a breakdown. There are options: medication to help you function and/or a mental health plan so you can see a psychologist and also nutrition/physical support. I am susceptible to anxiety/stress/depression (all of the above) and I understand that you get to the point where it's hard to do ordinary things that shouldn't be hard, let alone trying to deal with significant challenges. Even if you could get an hour to yourself to do yoga in the evening or a meditation class something that works for you to relax. You can't help DD if you totally lose it, so you need to do something to help you.
3. The belief you have no support. Sometimes it takes admitting how bad it is for you before your support network presents itself. DH would surely take the kids for an hour or so while you looked after yourself. I understand you have a division of responsibilities but assuming he cares about you, you're asking for him to help you until you're feeling better. It's not forever. You're not passing the buck. You're experiencing extreme stress and he is able to support you and I'm sure you'd do the same for him.
I hope this is something that improves for you. I really feel for you.
21-07-2013 07:53 #8
I agree with one of the live in clinics to get some rest, reassurance and some help for both of you. I often find GP's are too quick to jam a prescription at you and send you home. That doesn't help how you feel about what is happening.
Leave home and do a 5 or 10 or 14 day live in clinic, take some time with people who are trained and experienced to help.
21-07-2013 08:44 #9
Ellen Barron stat!
21-07-2013 20:21 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
My DS was/is very similar to your DD OP. I feel so jealous of mums with babies that are "normal". It must be a breeze in comparison.
My DS is 11 months and does seem to be improving but was particularly awful from 6-9 months. In desperation I resorted to Save Our Sleep settling techniques when nothing else worked and we finally have the night waking back under control. He's still a napper during the day but will usually self settle now. He still whinges/screams a lot, especially in confinement (high chair, pram) and when he's tired, and I can't get more than a metre away from him without some degree of complaining, but he's better than he was. In addition to forcing the self settling issue, I also found it helped me when I just accepted that this is what he is like, that he will grow out of it and that one day I won't have this baby to weigh down my every movement and it made me appreciate the time with him. I've had to relax and accept that nothing is going to get done around the house until he grows out of this phase.
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