I think it's all part of the experience.
I grew up in a house that was spotless, but I lived in a share house in London that had 7 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and 2 kitchens. It was filthy 99% of the time but it was so much fun. Best 4 years of my life!
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20-07-2013 05:31 #11
20-07-2013 05:43 #12
20-07-2013 06:29 #13
I think you guys sound like two extremes when it comes to cleanliness! I would be somewhere in the middle ground, as would my DH (thankfully!)
That said, my family home was untidy but not unclean if you get my drift. Floors, toilets, benches, etc were always regularly cleaned and hygienic, however my parents didn't mind a bit of superficial mess around the place.
DH's mother sounds very much like your MIL, OP. Feral toilets, feral kitchen, food bits all over the table and the couch, old food stuck on cutlery...I HATE eating at her house. I hate letting my kids eat there. I can cope with mess OK, but I need clean eating areas dammit! Basic health and hygiene!
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20-07-2013 06:57 #14-
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
My share house was sort of the in the middle when I lived at uni and that was with 3 other girls!!!
We had the classic falling down around us Queenslander (never ever rent off a developer who is just waiting to demolish your house when they get around to it. Nothing gets fixed!) With housemate that didn't really have doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom on the top of the priority list. But hell when you're 21 and have 30 drinking glasses and mugs for that exact reason and you're paying $120/week each for a house in the middle of the city, who really cares?
20-07-2013 07:02 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I have OCD when it comes to cleaning too, I blame my mother! Lol. When dh & I started living together we too struggled with the same thing. Although his mums house is not quite as bad as you describe his sisters place certainly worse than you describe & they can't even toilet train there dog & they leave poop & wee everywhere in the house from the mutt as they argue for days as to whose job it is to clean it up! Dh has seen the light though & refuses to even take our kids to his sisters filth as I do, but it's nice coming from him not me sounding like the snob his family think I am. They often make comments referring to me like I keep my kids in a bubble & all that crap. But seriously it's called spray & wipe & basic hygiene.
20-07-2013 08:13 #16
I grew up in a spotless household. For holidays we were given a 'list' of jobs to do and were allowed to pick which cleaning tasks we would do before going back to school (eg clean windows, dust the china cabinet etc).
At uni I lived in a share household that was quite possibly the basis for John Birmingham's book He died with a falafel in his hand.
Now I live somewhere in between. Basic hygiene is always followed, but not so worried if jobs don't get done for a few days/week.
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20-07-2013 10:54 #17
There's mess, there's dirt, there's filth and then there's squalor. I lived in England and Scotland as a backpacker and paid that little bit extra so that I could live with 4 others (as opposed to 40...lol) and noted that a lot of other backpacker houses went down with dysentery, flu and other lurgies associated with squalid conditions. Personally, I like to think I'm relaxed in terms of everyday living. My DH is always onto me about picking up after myself. However, in terms of food preparation and bladder/bowel emptying areas, there are some tasks that for health reasons (especially when you have kids) that should never be left and I make sure that they are clean. As an aside, I find that people content to live in squalor normally has a very low opinion of themselves and a total disregard for others.
20-07-2013 11:38 #18
I don't think it's a necessary part of life. When we had a couple of housemates (so 4 adults in an apartment, usually myself and 3 guys) and in the end the mist sensible solution was hiring a cleaner once a fortnight rather than dealing with who does what yadda yadda yadda. And everyone kept their own crap in their own rooms, did their own dishes etc.
But even when I was 15 I'd go stay with my older brother in his share house on school holidays and my first priority on arrival was clean the kitchen. So it might be a person to person not an age thing? I'm not even close to being a neat freak, it's just my brother is feral.
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20-07-2013 11:57 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
Not sure it is necessary - but he seems to have enjoyed it. I've lived overseas a different points for years and I was never in a share house. The most people I've ever lived with (apart from my family) was 3 including myself.
I am by no means a really clean, spotless person, but squalor doesn't do it for me either.
20-07-2013 12:03 #20
You are in the right, I think he's just used to slobbery and doesn't see anything wrong with it but the vast majority of people grew up like you (and i) where we had clean houses and prioritized such things.
I couldn't imagine anything worse than living in what he describes. By his standards the vast majority if people must be uptight!
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