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  1. #1
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    Default How to teach daughter about touching her "private parts"

    My daughter is only 4 months old, but this morning I was putting nappy rash cream on her so was obviously touching her "privates". I have always thought when she's talking I'll tell her that no one is allowed to touch her there, but what about when we do need to touch her there to apply cream or similar reasons? My mum and MIL will be looking after her while I work, so what if they need to put cream on her, how do I tell her that its ok for them to touch her then, what happens if my sisters or SIL babysit for some reason and they need to put cream on her? I know that it's often someone the child knows who assaults them if they're going to be assaulted, so I can't say "only people you know can touch you there" - what have you said to your children?
    Last edited by JR03; 18-07-2013 at 08:44.

  2. #2
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    I've often wondered about this too.....especially with later toilet trainers who are having nappy changes long after you'd start having the "no one touches you there" type conversations....

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    I haven't thought about this! I'd be interested to see everyone's responses

  4. #4
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    easy. I just tell my dd who is 4 that only me & grandma can wash/clean/put cream there. nobody else.

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    Subbing

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    once she is a little bit older, teach her to apply cream herself. We did this with DD and it has helped

    We use the "the only people reason people can touch your privates is to change your morning nappy or if you have an accident and they are helping you clean up"

    As they get more independence it does get easier.

    We also have "everyone's got a bottom" and we read it as a bedtime story on a regular basis...knowledge is power.

  7. #7
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    As riversong said we say "the only reason people can touch your privates is to change your nappy or help you wipe yourself after the toilet"
    Also "if anyone else tries to touch your private parts, its important that you tell mummy as its mummy's job to keep you safe".

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    My DD had a labial fusion (her vagina kept closing up) and I had to put cream on it twice a day, she also had to show it to a few doctors (although she refused to show the specialist and I was secretly pleased by her strength of will )... It finally resolved itself when she was about 3 1/2. As you can imagine, I agonised over the whole issue of both looking and touching. She refused to put the cream on herself, and it really needed to be applied sparingly and in the correct place. In the end, I explained to her that I needed to put cream on it because it needed to get better, and that it was ok because it wasn't a secret. It was ok to tell everyone that I was putting cream on it. When we went to the doctors, it was ok because it was a doctor, because I was there, and again, because it wasn't a secret...

    When she had a sleep-over at my parents, I asked her if she wanted Granny to put her cream on. Again, I emphasised that it was only ok because it was to make her vagina better, that I had said granny could, and that it wasn't a secret. She didn't want her granny to do it, so I said 'that's fine, we'll just skip a day".

    I think the important thing to teach is that secrets about touching are never ok. There may well be times when kids need medical treatment for their genitals, if we teach them that no one is allowed to touch them, then that sends a very mixed message...hope that makes sense...

  9. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Pilbara For This Useful Post:

    Bumblebeez00  (18-07-2013),Calstar  (18-07-2013),GreenMama  (18-07-2013),Lambylamb  (18-07-2013),MilkingMaid  (18-07-2013),saxonrose  (18-07-2013)

  10. #9
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    It's really hard, isn't it. I've always talked about healthy touch and touch that makes your tummy feel yucky, but that's not fool proof either.

  11. #10
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    Oooh subbing. DS1 is 2.5 (still in nappies) and we haven't really had the 'no-one touches your privates' conversation. I too am confused about how to tell him it's not ok for people to touch his privates, but sometimes it is ok (nappy changes, helping wash bottoms etc).


 

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