I think there are certainly people in and involved in the sex industry who should absolutely be ashamed of what they do and have done. I don't know how some people sleep at night. I think it's disgusting that some people are coerced or exploited.
But if a person willingly, and lawfully, wants to enter into the sex industry, it's their body - not mine. It's their choice, I make different choices, I would deeply hope my own children would make different choices.
What I'm uncomfortable with anyone feeling entitled to dictate what people (women) do with their own bodies.
I think unless that's your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend, what happens between two consenting adults isn't really anyone else's business.
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18-07-2013 08:06 #81
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18-07-2013 08:11 #82
18-07-2013 08:21 #83
Would I do it? Probably not.
Do I think it's shameful? No.
In my line of work I've looked after 100's of working girls.
Mostly I feel sorry for them as its their drug addiction that has lead them to where they are and it puts them in constant threat of danger.
There is a big difference working on the streets for a hit to the high class escorts in a organization that offers some level of protection to the girls.
How knows though, if I was in a situation with no support, no money and mouths to feed it might be a option. Centrelink payments don't alway make ends meet for people in this situation.
As a PP has said, I find it more disturbing that men pay for it and the attitude that $ can buy a body for their own pleasure. I feel they don't really see that woman as a person (generally) just a means to an end for their own personal gratification.
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18-07-2013 08:40 #84
For one I never asked for prostitution to be made illegal. What I wish for is for customers to be made illegal. Check out how Sweden did it if you are keen to understand what I mean.
For second I don't look down on prostitutes/sex workers but again I do look down on customers.
If prostitution was as you describe it - the work of women you chose to be here and who makes money for themselves and who can get out of the business at whatever time - then I would think otherwise. The vast reality of this world is much more different.
18-07-2013 08:58 #85Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
So wouldn't it be more sensible to try to change attitudes so that sex workers were respected, both by their clients and by society at large. Then you would have no reason to feel that the woman was at fault for being disrespected.
18-07-2013 09:08 #86-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
In my skin' by Kate Holden? She had a good upbringing, was educated and then worked as a prostitute in St Kilda after becoming hooked on heroin.
The author said that she chose prostitution simply because she needed money for drugs and couldn't imagine herself knocking over little old ladies and snatching their handbags for cash - it felt morally wrong to her.
Last edited by 1234Guest; 18-07-2013 at 09:22.
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18-07-2013 09:17 #87
Yes, it certainly is IMO. I would be ashamed to be one, to use one, to know one and to have my son/daughter sell themselves would have me wondering where I had gone so wrong, whether they make $50 or thousands. I just find the idea of sucking someone off for cash to be pretty vile, and I don't view sex as a magical or sacred thing. Yes it is judgemental, but at the end of the day I don't care if people have an issue with me judging prostitutes. I think males paying for sex are gross too, and again wouldn't knowingly associate with them.
18-07-2013 09:20 #88
Let's be honest here.
If people find sex work shameful, it's because they find no-strings-sex shameful.
It's because they think sex is something that should only happen between people in a relationship, or at least between two people who have just met and are exploring something that might become a relationship.
Reducing sex to a transaction is seen as the opposite of a relationship - too clear-eyed and honest, perhaps, when our culture prefers to romanticise these things, to suggest that there are never any motives beyond twue wuv for women to have sex. (Nobody ever bothers to suggest men's motives are so pure. Funny that.)
Never sex in return for a nice meal or some drinks, or sex for a bed for the night. Never sex for the sake of not being alone, or because it's expected in an ongoing relationship, even if you don't feel like it right then. Never sex because you're a wife and it's part of the house and land package.
"Nice" women have been selling themselves since the dawn of time. They just monetised it differently and scrabbled for something to give themselves the moral high ground. So other women - who were involved in more straightforward transactions - were called prostitutes or whores, some got to be mistresses, or courtesans, and others wives.
Men, of course, were terrified of these straightforward transactions, because they were free of the control that they had over their wives. "Hand over the money, do the sex, walk away" gave sex workers a power wives and mistresses never had. So those women had to be reviled.
And here we are today, liberated from shame about sex and our bodies, and this crap is still being peddled. "Respect" for my body? Really? I find it really offensive that anyone should suggest another woman lacks respect for her self or her body because she chooses to use it to support herself. Some sex workers may not, some will. Being a sex worker doesn't automatically equate to one frame of mind, one background, one fate.
The shame lies with social structures that perpetuate this rubbish and do their utmost to drive it underground, making it an unsafe, sleazy profession BECAUSE of the shame heaped on these women (and men). People trafficking, drug use, STDs and the like - these are social problems that need to be tackled outside of the framework of "prostitution! egad!" and would be a hell of a lot easier to minimise if sex workers could admit what they do and admit that it's out of free choice, rather than compulsion.
Same goes for p.or.n, actually. Let's stop jumping up and down about the shame, and how awful and immoral it is, and concentrate on tackling the risk factors and misogyny and criminal acts that infiltrate an industry that is sleazy and underground because so many moral majority types insist on keeping it so.
*rant for the day over*
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18-07-2013 09:30 #89Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
Let's pretend for a moment that we live in a magical fairy world where prostitution was view by society as a respectable profession. In this world the general consensus is that sex workers have specialised skills (similar to a masseuse, say) and are performing a difficult, but highly valued - and therefore highly paid - role. There are no associations with drug use or any criminal element here because it is a legal and respected position. If you are particularly good at your job you can become quite well known, your services will be in high demand and you can command top dollar.
In this world, would people still have an objection to sex workers, or is it simply because we live in a society that denigrates these people that we find it so shameful? Basically like a self-fulfilling prophesy - society wants it to be shameful therefore people become ashamed of it, not through the act itself, but because of arbitrary social conditioning.
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18-07-2013 09:35 #90
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