You're a family. It's your family home.
Since we were married, we have had combined finances. However ever since we first started dating when I was a uni student and DH was working full time, I was funny about wanting to "pay my own way" when he would've just paid for something. I.e dinner out at the pub. Our agreement was that we would pay things in proportion. E.g he would pay for the meal and I'd buy us a round of drinks.
We are TTC, however our plan for finances is that - starting immediately we will be putting my salary directly into our (joint) car loan, and when thats paid off into a (joint) savings account and start trying to get used to living on one salary which is paid into a joint account - which we should be able to do if we're less frivolous with our spending! We will eventually have a nice little cushion for us to be able to splurge on baby things, and use as a slush fund to fall back on if needed while I'm not working.
Resolving different approaches to money is often one of the biggest hurdles in any relationship, and I honestly hope this works out for you both.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 91 to 95 of 95
03-08-2013 23:34 #91
07-08-2013 21:28 #92
OP, has he been "taken for a ride" by someone in the past (or felt that way)? His attitude sounds like deep-seated $$ issues to me.
We have separate accounts, I work PT and keep my earnings, minus daycare bills, and DH also pays me a monthly sum to cover his share of child-related exps and groceries as he doesnt have the day-to-day knowledge of what's needed. He pays all major bills (car, mortgage, utilities, but I pay the landline, plus child-related stuff and my prof exps for work.) If one of us is short, there is the understanding the other will help or will get stuff that isnt on their "list". If Dh asked me for back pay on the mortgage I would be pretty offended - you ARE contributing, like the others have said, by taking care of bubs. This is also how the courts would see it if it came to splitting your assets.
07-08-2013 21:37 #93
I have my own account and we have a joint account. My husband has never once spoken about "his money"
I think it's appalling.
07-08-2013 23:52 #94
Tell him to stay home and look after bubs because you are the higher wage earner... but that he still has to pay his share of everything (plus childcare costs if he 'decides' he 'wants' to work)...
No offence... but he doesn't sound like he's living in reality at all...
And once baby is born- who's money is going to pay for nappies? baby food? school fees? clothes? book club? tuckshop? excursions? music lessons? sporting clubs?...
A family is a family and children should be able to grow up seeing that a household works together to maintain stability.
Will he pay you childcare costs during the day? And is he offering to take on half of all night shifts with baby?
I would be absolutely super peeved if my husband had that attitude.
That, IMO, is NOT the way a husband and father who wants to see his family prosper and be happy behaves. it is almost obvious that he does not value parenting as an important role at all.
I am sensing very loud warning bells if this is not resolved to satisfaction of you.
I cannot believe that someone who says they love you, would put you into a position of not having any financial freedom due to costs and then create a situation which would cause resentment and bitterness in the person they say they love... the person who is the one making the bigger sacrifice!
In our house we have always had a joint account. We discuss all costs and we have the same amount of 'pocket money' each. money left over each week after all essential costs are covered- well then we use it for something we both enjoy or put it into savings for something a bit bigger.
Good luck with this situation.
04-09-2013 15:53 #95Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Sorry but your partner sounds like a complete moron. He wants you to pay him back for missed mortgage payments? Ok, so is he going to pay you to care for his child? Come on, he has to be joking, surely?
DF and I don't have a joint bank account, mainly for "can't be bothered" reasons. Instead, I have secondary cards for his accounts and I use those to buy groceries, pay medical expenses etc. I stay home and look after our son and he takes care of the finances. I'd be appalled if he expected me to back pay him for taking care of us while I was pregnant/caring for our baby and honestly I'd probably be questioning even staying in the relationship.
Our son is the responsibility of both of us. He takes care of our family financially and I take care of the bub and the house...
By lizzymcfizzy in forum Maternity LeaveReplies: 22Last Post: 19-03-2013, 15:14
By quietlyhopeful in forum Pregnancy & Birth General ChatReplies: 8Last Post: 25-01-2013, 16:36
By JR03 in forum Family FinancesReplies: 8Last Post: 17-01-2013, 08:59
Tags for this Thread
Hunter Women's Health CentreHunter Women’s Health Centre care for women of all ages, in the full spectrum of their gynaecologic and obstetric ...
LATESTHow to get your kids to bring home empty lunch boxesIs the secret to saving for your child’s education in your home loan?Games to play with your baby – newborn to 12 months
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Advice Wanted. Struggling with life as a new Mum to 9 month oldGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Pregnant???Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
Help name our puppy!General Chat
Gender disappointment from others getting me downSecond Trimester Chat
IVF babies due March/April/May 2017#2pregnancy and babies through IVF
Are you going to an ANZAC service tomorrow?General Chat
My mum may have breast cancer :(General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Tell them they're dreaming! Buy-Swap-SellGeneral Chat
The Word Association Game #24Games & fun stuff
Childcare worker- how to approach awkward conversationGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat