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  1. #111
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    And you are allowed to feel like that, just as I am allowed to feel as I do. I just don't feel that anyone can look into the future or read other peoples minds. That is all. Nothing more.

    Quote Originally Posted by TimeForWine View Post
    I guess we see it differently then. I don't have a back up plan - its simple as that. IF dh and I were to break up then I would go from there - I work, I do all our finances, I would survive. And unless dh suddenly lost his job he would 100% support the girls - not me - the girls. I KNOW that he would NOT walk away from them - and yes I KNOW that. So yeah, I DO see having a back up plan as kinda 'waiting for it to fail'. *I* that's how *I* feel, doesn't mean anyone has to agree with me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    My first husband died in a car accident at 31 and I had to quit my job (not child friendly hours) and nearly lost the house.

    The best back up plan you can ever have is the ability to make money.
    I am sorry for your loss.

    This is why people need a back up plan. You know first hand.

    This next bit isn't directed at you. It's for the "no back up plan" romantics:

    I worked in estates law and met so many women, in particular, who lost their husbands in their 30's or 40's to road accidents and suicide. Increasingly, I saw people dropping dead from heart disease at the same age. You need a will, life insurance and a plan to support yourself in a worst-case scenario if a spouse dies. No one will be married "forever". There are no "forevers" in life... but if you choose to live in denial rather than taking an hour out of your life to insure your family or write a will you risk your family going through an ordeal once you or your DH is gone. If you become unemployable due to losing touch with paid employment for an extended period of time and your spouse doesn't have significant life insurance, you're very exposed.

    The worst case scenario is that grieving compounds with losing your house and having no income. This happens. Banks don't care. Greedy relatives sometimes don't care either. Death brings out the best and worst in people. Don't risk it.

  3. #113
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
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    Oh we have life insurance, income protection, mortgage insurance etc etc and wills etc etc - i dont think of that as a back up plan, I just think of that as a part of life?

    I am obvs confused!


 

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