I think you need to do what works for you and your family. People will always judge. Im done with being judged by other mums and other people in general. When you don't worry about what others think anymore you will feel so much better. Good luck.
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11-07-2013 10:54 #11
11-07-2013 11:00 #12
We are only planning on one at this stage and haven't copped any grief but nobody really believes that.
Having said that, now I'm back at work and getting over the last year which was hard for various reasons, I can potentially see me changing my mind. But not for a few years.
People tend to judge on intentional larger age gaps too!
11-07-2013 11:06 #13
I would never judge a person for choosing to only have one child - in fact a tiny part of me is jealous of the one child family who is able to go on skiing holidays and overseas holidays etc. Things we simply cannot afford to do.
Also you never know why a person has decided to only have one child - it may be that they simply can not have anymore.
My Aunt only has one child because when she was pregnant she developed some sort of condition that caused her to go into kidney failure, she was told that if she was to ever get pregnant again it would kill her. She has lived with kidney disease ever since and now 25 years later has just been placed on the waiting list for a transplant.
There are so many reasons why people would only have one child, and I figure it is none of my business.
DD3 goes to school with a little girl whose parents have decided not to have anymore children - she was telling me they ended up implying to her MIL that they were unable to fall pregnant again because she was always dropping comments about "the next baby" and making negative comments about only children.
11-07-2013 12:26 #14
My fave response when people make comments if I say we aren't planning another is that it's bogan to have more than one child
11-07-2013 12:39 #15
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11-07-2013 13:17 #16
I was judged a lot for not having a baby. .. then DH and I decided to have one. We constantly get those 'all knowing' looks and phrases from people. . you know the 'just wait. .. you'll change your mind etc etc you already did once. ..etc etc'
Um no!!! It really annoys me that they seem to know me better than me!!! Argh. ..
Sometimes I like to say hell no. ..I'm allergic to pregnancy. .. but I have the best response when I start giving them the low down on dd's rare genetic syndrome and serious heart problems and how high the chances are It will happen again. ..and so on. .. They usually squirm and get all awkward. ..
Ok.. might not work for everyone but it does for me!!!!
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23-07-2013 18:33 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
I always say I made perfection the first time....I don't need to try again Mind you, then those with more than one may find I'm being rude!
I only want one. He is 2yrs and 3 months now. I won't have another and despite people asking, my real reasons aren't their business. Though I do feel as though I have to explain that I do love my life, adore my son and the best to happen to me is becoming a Mummy! I just want to do other things too now. I think they think I'm not maternal, don't bond with children etc....ultimately what they think isn't my business! Glad there are others happy with their one
23-07-2013 18:35 #18
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23-07-2013 18:39 #19
The reality is that once you've had one child people tend to feel like you're fair game to talk to about having more kids. People assume that once you have one child you'll at least want one more. As there is a nearly 5 year gap between my #1 & #2 I got a lot of questions about when I was going to have #2. Ironically since #2 the questions reduced considerably ... people tend to be more accepting of you stopping at #2 than at #1. Annoying, but true.
23-07-2013 18:44 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
People are genuinely shocked when I say without a hint of hesitation or doubt, 'I'm not, one is enough for me' when the all predictable question is asked about having more children. I think the only people really happy to hear this answer: my partner and my boss! I think my father is in denial and would happily take ten grand babies ;-)
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