How do I get some confidence & become more aggressive when I'm driving?
I have a severe driving phobia which I'm trying to overcome & half the reason for this phobia is that regularly I have been bullied, intimiated and/or threatened whilst on the road. I'm SO scared about that happening again that I can barely drive.
I drive the speed limit cause I don't want to speed & risk my (or someone else's) life, but everyone seems to have a problem with that. Everyone around here seems to want to go 10-20 ks over the limit & because I don't, I get bullied. At the very least I end up with a car up my back bumper bar & at the worst I have someone shouting threats at me as they drive past.
I've tried 'just ignoring them' but it's not really working for me.
Therefore I thought that maybe if I drove aggressively, like they do, they would leave me alone. But I'm really not sure how to do that. How do you think I could learn to do that?
I'm really running out of options, this is my last
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09-07-2013 06:23 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
How to drive more aggressively
09-07-2013 06:30 #2
You're doing the right thing and driving at he appropriate speed limit. I am very cautious when driving and stick to the speed limit, if the driver behind me is ****ed off, let hem overtake me. You don't want to become an aggressive driver, as then you're doing what those awful drivers are doing and then you will be in a dangerous situation one day. If thy yell or threaten you, just ignore it and concentrate on where you're driving. If you act back dangerously, you could be charged with neg driving. Stick to the road rules and enjoy the independence of having a license.
09-07-2013 06:31 #3
I wouldn't suggest driving aggressively, it'll just cause an accident.
Just keep driving the speed limit and put some music on so if someone does yell you don't hear it and just keep your eyes on the road and not look at them as they drive past.
09-07-2013 06:31 #4
Aggressive driving is a sure way to a bad place.
I too drive the speed limit. And no one of this earth is going to make me feel bad about that! I'm not about to risk losing my license or life because other drivers want to act like tools!
09-07-2013 06:47 #5
I don't know if it'll work for you but when people do that cr@p to me (following to close, abusive) I wait till they pass and just wave. Not sarcastically, not rudely. Just a simple wave. They don't know what to do and surprisingly it makes you feel better.
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09-07-2013 06:56 #6
Try a defensive driving class. They are (literally) life savers! It will give you the skills and confidence to drive assertively. I would never recommend driving aggressively.
09-07-2013 06:57 #7
I think you probably need to be more calm when you drive, (easier said when done) if someone is riding right up the back of me, I usually put a big smile on my face and slow down 5 kms, and turn my lights on and off, so the rear lights start flashing at them.
I think if you driving aggressively and you're not comfortable, it'll be even worse. Maybe have some relaxing music in the car, and focus on what's ahead of you, not behind.
I also find that talking to the other drivers helps. WHile they can't hear me, it makes me feel better. I'd say something like "hey, you're a bit close there buddy" or something I find defuses the situation. Hope that helps!!!
09-07-2013 07:02 #8
I used to get scared/intimidated by that stuff too.
Now, I do what a pp suggested and 'talk' to the other driver ("Sorry buddy, I don't have a tow ball ... You'll have to hitch a ride with someone else") ... It really does make me feel better.
I always drive the speed limit and if someone has a problem with that, then I guess that's their problem, not mine.
ETA: something I took away from my defensive driving course was that you can only control your own driving behaviour. If someone else is driving aggressively, there is not much you can do about it. Retaliating is not productive ... All you will do is end up with two idiots on the road instead of one, doubling the danger in the situation.
Last edited by Shoopuf; 09-07-2013 at 07:05.
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09-07-2013 07:41 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
Are you sure your speedo is correct? If that many people are getting frustrated towards you maybe you might actually be going slower than the speed limit?
If someone is up your butt and you're intimidated, you could pull over and let them overtake.
I also talk to the drivers as PP suggested.
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River Song (09-07-2013)
09-07-2013 08:24 #10
I agree, get your Speedo checked. Our last car was about 8km+ below the correct speed (a new car too).
OP you say if you drive aggressively "they" will leave you alone, the problem is it will always be a different "they". There will always be idiots on the road.
I'm also quite nervous on the road, afraid of getting in peoples way and doing the wrong thing. My dad once told me only to worry about what's in front of me, let the guy behind worry about himself. I also think about the fact that I have a much right to be on the road as anyone else, I pay my road tax etc.
Pre-kids I used to drive a bit aggressively, eg if someone p***ed me off by driving up my bumper, I would refuse to get out of the way. I was always so nervous, I was ready to do battle as soon as anyone challenged me. I got myself into a couple of situations where I contributed to a dangerous situation (esp one occasion where the guy was so determined to pass me he ran a red light wayyyy late)
So your only concern should be a. getting to your destination safely and b. What is in front of you. I think the idea of a defensive driving course is good, it would really help build your confidence
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