It's harder, definitely, but also much better than I expected in some ways.
I didn't expect to feel so much fear and worry. Suddenly the world felt a lot scarier to me and parenthood brought a rather unsettling sense of mortality.
The newborn phase was horrendous for us but improved at around 4mo. I expected to have a content little sleeping baby that didn't use a dummy and breastfed effortlessly. Not so.
I think in all the important ways I am the parent I wanted & expected to be, but the details have been adjusted to suit reality.
DD constantly amazes and challenges me so I am learning as I go!
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Results 51 to 60 of 73
08-07-2013 21:47 #51
08-07-2013 23:43 #52
It's been easier so far than I expected. My DS is only 3 months though so I'm expecting it to get harder as it goes along.
We've both been quite calm since he was born, just taking each day as it comes with no set rules. I'm not sure if that is a contributing factor but DS is a very chilled out, happy baby so that makes it easier. My DP works away for a month at a time so that's really hard and some days it all falls apart looking after him on my own.
It took us three years to have a baby so I think after fertility drugs, miscarriages, Ivf and a crap high risk pregnancy this feels like a golden time. I just love spending my days with him, he's such a butterball of loveliness, almost always wakes up smiling at me now. Breastfeeding was harder than I thought (esp feeding every 2-3 hrs day and night the first 8 weeks) but in so glad I stuck with it and we've found out groove. I'm lucky to have lots of good friends with babies/kids so we have more play dates than we know what to do with.
Yup I'm sleep deprived especially with a partner away for long stretches but I think I'm very lucky to have been blessed with a cruisy baby. I'm sure he will turn into a terror as a toddler to make up for it.
09-07-2013 06:08 #53
Well I didn't have any expectations, really. I am surprised by how maternal I am, how relaxed and patient I can be with the babies and how much I want more of them! But on the flip side I'm shocked by how quickly the days pass with little more than nappies, breastfeeding and bad tv to fill them. I'm also surprised at how much of a role guilt seems to play in parenting. If the baby cries for ages I'm guilty that something I ate might have caused it. If the toddler spends hours watching Play School I'm guilty she's not seeing friends and being more active. If meals are not the best quality... etc. Hopefully I can be more relaxed & forgiving with myself as I become a more experienced parent (or better with organization & time management!).
09-07-2013 06:33 #54
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks parenthood gets harder as they get older! DS1 was so cruisy as a newborn, he fed easily, slept heaps and was generally really easy - then he got to 3 months and all that went to sh!t.
I remember thinking when he was a newby, wow! this can't get any easier - this motherhood thing is a breeze. I didn't know about all the sleep regressions or how teething and reaching developmental milestones affected them, then you get into tantrum and defiance territory as toddlerhood approaches. As soon as I thought DS1 had fallen into any kind of predictable routine, he up and changed overnight. I know now to expect the unexpected with DS2, and I know how quickly the time really does fly so I just try to relax and go with it.
09-07-2013 06:47 #55
No way! I thought it would be a walk in the park...
I would always see mums at cafes drinking coffee with friends looking so happy and 'not' bored! They always look busy having fun etc.
My baby is a really good baby, never cries sleeps extremely well, feeds well etc the only stress was my bubba has a hole in her heart so I have been stressed the whole time.
I miss using my brain studying and want to return but I'm scared I will miss all these beautiful milestones with my daughter.
09-07-2013 07:08 #56
I was not prepared by the stress, anxiety and guilt I would feel. All.the.time!
I was a very laid back, go with the flow type of person - anti stress - pre-children!
I was shocked to find myself become agoraphobic from the time I got home from hospital till DS was probably 3 months old!
As in I struggled to even go in our backyard or the front porch! There was danger everywhere!!
Going to mothers group was a major mission! Undoubtedly this was all compounded by sleep deprivation.
I have gotten past all that now but the "guilts" still hit every time he in unwell 😥
09-07-2013 07:12 #57
Heck no!! My DS 7 is so disrespectful & pushes me to my absolute limits daily. He acts like a feral teenager thinks hes older than he is & literally $hits me to tears. I've already lost it this morning & closed my self in my room to cry while DD 2 & 1/2 screaming & tantrumming hysterically for an hr n bit over absolute nothing since the minute she woke up. Give me a new born any day they're a hundred times easier than this. My house is a pigsty 24/7 my washing breeds while I sleep & I'm lucky to shower daily I hardly sleep cause once I'm wound down n get into bed DD wakes & screams hysterically on cue until I go n get her n bring her into my bed & then wakes me at 5/6 am very day hitting me pulling my hair screaming. Jumping on me etc. I'd kill for a full nights sleep she's slept through total of 6 nights since she turned 2 last November This is not what I pictured it to be like at all I feel like I'm turning into my mother & really don't wanna go down that path
09-07-2013 07:33 #58Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
The newborn/baby/toddler stage was sooo much easier than expected, for all three. I did have some 'moments', but in general, I was young and naive and all my older mum work friends loved to tell me horror stories about babies, and as I was so young and inexperienced those stories were all I knew.
Thankfully I didn't know any better actually, because in hindsight my first baby was soooooooo difficult (as it turns out, he has Aspergers), but as I didn't know what a 'normal' baby was like, I didn't realise that he was hard work.
I was plodding along real fine, until they got to just about school age. Then with each of them, I started to find it really very difficult. Then everyone tells you that once they're at school, it gets easier. I only had one friend at the time with school aged kids, and she would tell me the opposite- that it gets harder. I chose to ignore her.... but my goodness she is right. The youngest is now at school as well, so I have 3 school aged kids, and I can tell you that, for me, this is without a doubt THE hardest period so far of parenthood. So hard. So frustrating, there are so many clashes of personalities now, so much attitude, so much repetitiveness about life that makes it a real drag a lot of the time.
09-07-2013 09:17 #59
hell no, I never thought it would be this hard! And who's bloody idea was it to have a 14mth age gap?!? And if you think that is hard when they are babies wait until they both hit the hormonal 4&5 year old stage!! I thought I would have more family support After we worked out DS1s sleep issues it was sooooo cruisy! Then yeah the first one hit that testosterone stage...and now the second one has too..
After DS2 was born I was on a high for like 2 years. It.Was.Amazing. Same after DD. But this preschooler age..god help me I have spent more times than I care to count crying while trying to hide in my bedroom. More nights laying awake trying to figure out where I was going wrong and how they hell I was going to fix this before they managed to completely conquer us.
Lucky I love them, I may not always like them but I would give up everything for them
09-07-2013 15:57 #60Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
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