I wouldn't sweat it, she sounds like she has tried to be honest and hasn't had a dig at you or your family.
If she is prioritising her career then that is her choice and it is just as valid as another woman prioritising having a family. Neither makes you more or less busy than the other, but if someone said to you 'I've got 4 kids so its hard to catch up' then it probably would have made more sense to you.
And the fact that she has flagged different interests shows that you are really just at different points in your life. She might prefer to catch up in the evenings at trendy wine bars or go away on spa weekends which is pretty hard to do with friends who have kids.
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01-07-2013 13:10 #11
01-07-2013 18:33 #12Junior Member
Yeah I think it's because of her childless state
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
01-07-2013 21:14 #13
Sorry wasn't saying all childless women are like that!! I have many friends who don't want kids and they are lovely.
But I have noticed often - and I'm going to make a huge generalisation here- single women in their late 30s can be a bit *****y to people with kids. I know not everyone is like that, but I do think there's a stage that they realise its not going to happen for them.
I'm a solo mother by choice, I opted to go it alone so I didn't end up childless. It's a choice people have to make. There's no right or wrong choice, it's just what you can live with. One friend isn't going it alone as she's scared of people judging her. I find that sad.
Not sure if OPs friend is single or not, but I also understand infertility. My sister needed to use donor eggs to make my nephew and and done many transfers to give him a sibling that hasn't worked. I never ask someone when they're having kids (I used to), after realising not everyone gets a baby even if they want it badly. It sucks.
01-07-2013 22:39 #14
I have kids and work full time (5 days)....and I hope I don't sound too harsh, but I can totally see where she is coming from! I just barely manage to squeeze in seeing my close family and friends, in fact I don't have the time to see everyone that I would like to. There just isn't enough time left in the week/month after a 50 hour week at work (travel time included there). If I didn't have kids, I really don't think I'd be seeking the company of someone with kids. And if I was working 6 days a week then I'm sorry but I'd be very picky about who I was spending those few precious hours with. I'm sure it's nothing personal against you. Most likely just a lifestyle thing.
01-07-2013 23:11 #15Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I have never been that keen on kids in fact until I met my husband 4 years ago I was planning to get my tubes tied. One of my longest friendships has been with a woman who had 3 kids when I met her. I just accepted the fact that I had to go out of my way to visit her most of the time. We even lost touch for a year or 2 when I did my working holiday and when we caught up it was like we had never been apart. We do have a lot of common interests and similar ways of thinking so when I don't see her or talk to her for months it never seems strange when we do catch up. I am not a social person so I don't need to be in someone's pocket all the time to feel that a friendship is live as long as the connection is there when we do catch up.
01-07-2013 23:14 #16
I have a friend like this. She was named god mother of my ds and I wouldn't really consider her that now because I haven't seen or heard from her in such a long time......we are just at different stages of life...
01-07-2013 23:28 #17
Working 6 days a week makes her super busy and I suspect on her 1 day off she is quite busy simply doing her washing, grocery shopping, paying bills etc... And then finding time for everyone else in her life too.
In all honesty, I would cut back on a log of friendships too if I found myself in that situation...
02-07-2013 10:32 #18
Time for new friends I think....
By Missy RJ in forum Natural / Attachment ParentingReplies: 1Last Post: 12-06-2013, 14:35
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