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  1. #1
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    Default How do i show DH i appreciate him?

    DH has bent over backwards for me since our DS was born almost 6mths ago. Ive struggled with PND for a second time and once again, he stepped up and took control of everything. BOTH the kids, housework and a very demanding job that has resulted in him being up untill all hours once we are all asleep, to get work done because i have needed him at home as soon as he can get off work.
    He prepares our meals, meal plans, does the grocery shopping, cleans up after dinner, gets the kids ready for bed and goes into ds to give him a bottle thru the night when im too exhausted. basically will do anthing i dont get around to doing or anything i ask him to do, he will. We have home help for a while, so we are both getting a break from the housework.
    Im worried he is burning the candlestick at both ends. I know he is exhausted he just wont whinge about it to me.
    I want to do something for him to show him how much i appreciate all he has done, but i dont have any money to spend.
    Im so lucky to be with him, i cant believe he has put up with some of the stuff i have been going through - for a second time.

    What would you do?

    I should also add, my ds doesnt sleep longer than 15-30mins at a time during the day and wont allow me more than 5 mins before he starts screming to be picked up and held. I HATE baby wearing him, it gets in my way and he's heavy! I'd love to be able to organise a nice dinner at home just the two of us, he's a big foodie. I just cant get the time and most days i just have no energy left.
    Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 24-06-2013 at 14:40.

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    My first suggestion was going to be a night in a motel without the kids, but no money.
    Could you organise a sitter for the night so you two can just relax and get a decent sleep?

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    My first suggestion was going to be a night in a motel without the kids, but no money.
    Could you organise a sitter for the night so you two can just relax and get a decent sleep?
    WE have booked a weekend away in september for a wedding, no kids. - really looking forward to it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Muffet View Post
    DH has bent over backwards for me since our DS was born almost 6mths ago. Ive struggled with PND for a second time and once again, he stepped up and took control of everything. BOTH the kids, housework and a very demanding job that has resulted in him being up untill all hours once we are all asleep, to get work done because i have needed him at home as soon as he can get off work.
    He prepares our meals, meal plans, does the grocery shopping, cleans up after dinner, gets the kids ready for bed and goes into ds to give him a bottle thru the night when im too exhausted. basically will do anthing i dont get around to doing or anything i ask him to do, he will. We have home help for a while, so we are both getting a break from the housework.
    Im worried he is burning the candlestick at both ends. I know he is exhausted he just wont whinge about it to me.
    I want to do something for him to show him how much i appreciate all he has done, but i dont have any money to spend.
    Im so lucky to be with him, i cant believe he has put up with some of the stuff i have been going through - for a second time.

    What would you do?
    This sounds so much like my husband and I. Looking forward to the responses but knowing how my depression goes, even if it sounds like a good idea the reality of me being able to actually organise something without feeling overwhelmed by it, is slim.

    Still though, like I said, looking forward to responses

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    Little Miss Muffet  (24-06-2013)

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    I'd write him a letter. Don't try to make any grand gestures right now, you're probably not up to it yet. Write him a long letter outlining all the wonderful things he's done for you and how grateful you are for it all. When you're feeling more up to it, maybe organise a boy's day out for him? I was going to do that for DP's birthday this week but I'm not quite up for it yet. But my plan was to send him out for a day at the footy or to play laser tag or something and then out for the night with his mates- followed by a big long sleep in the next day. But if I tried to do that now I would probably have a breakdown not having his help a whole day and night, lol. So that will have to wait. I'm writing him a letter instead maybe father's day.

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    I've been thinking the same question about my dp as he has been so super amazing to me (he's my ex from before fob and he's pretty much stepped up since fob took off) and so I'm interested in responses as well.
    I've had a few ideas for what to do for him, including a boys day, but he is pretty difficult to organize for lol. Things I've thought for him are: paint ball/lazer tag with his best mates then back home with them all for drinks (though I'm still pregnant so don't have kids to worry about with that yet. Perhaps if you have a good friend or some family around they can help you look after the kids for the day/evening so your dh can relax at the pub for a few hours with some mates?). After one of dp and my exams a couple weeks ago I took him to the bar and picked him up a couple hours later so he could have some beers with his uni mates.

    hope you feel better soon.


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    FL a letter sounds like a lovely idea and something i could manage. I wouldnt know how to write it without sounding like a big sucky goof though!

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    Your husband sounds like he is doing an amazing job!

    I have found that men like simple things that are to the point, rather than extravagant gifts, etc. (at least my DH does)
    Maybe you could make him a card with all the things you have mentioned here, give him a huge hug and just tell him how appreciative you are and tell him how much he has helped you. Actually saying the words will have a huge impact because he will directly relate it to what he has been doing and it will make him feel really special

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    If I want to do something special I just cook him his favourite meal....usually that's enough for him to know that I do appreciate him and everything he does.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Muffet View Post
    FL a letter sounds like a lovely idea and something i could manage. I wouldnt know how to write it without sounding like a big sucky goof though!
    Maybe every day write down one thing you appreciate about him or a little note to him. At the end of the month you could turn it into a photo book with the notes and photos of the two of you?

    I'm planning to do that for DF but over the next few months (not a note every day though!)

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