This is something I think about daily and I'd love some feedback/advise. Pre-mummy days I was young, totally care free, had an amazing group of friends etc etc. I also believed that my Grandma was watching over me, I did silly things but I always believed it was for a reason, for me to learn or grown from them and to mature me. My pregnancy wasn't planned and I did most of it alone. My beautiful DD was/is the highlight of my life, I finally understood what love was. I had PND when she was very young, I saw a counsellor and moved forward. The problem is, in the last 18 months I don't feel like I can 'believe' anymore. In that time her bio farther cut contact and broke my heart (for me & her), I lost my job, I lost some of my best friends, I was really down. I met a wonderful guy and until recently we were planning on starting a family etc, until one day he just walked out. I'm not enjoying my new job now either. I feel like this has all happened for a reason (maybe karma?) but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I believed in god but I seem to have lost that feeling now. I'm terrified of ending up alone, I'm longing for more children and I want to give my DD the best family that I can. I feel like I have no faith that things will get better. Please help me, where do I turn? I can't feel my grandma around me anymore and I feel so alone
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19-06-2013 20:31 #1
I've lost my faith
19-06-2013 20:44 #2
OP I can relate to your feelings of losing faith in everything. I was there myself a few years ago. I too have had PND after both my babies and found myself in the pit that was alcoholism. I had no faith that anything was going to get better and I just didn't see the point in the struggle that was life anymore. During that time I went to some really dark places. My story differs to yours in a sense that addiction played a big role in my problems. However it was my addiction that led me back on the path of spirituality and to hope. I am now so grateful for all the hardship I have been through. Sometimes its not easy but I now again believe that all things happen for a reason, even if at the time we cannot see it.
I guess I found the courage to trust again, and that was hard, but it was also the most freeing thing I have done. I guess my advice here OP is that I do believe all things happen for a reason and once we start really looking into our own souls for the answers things start falling in place. OP I am sure if you really need your grandma and are asking for her to be with you, she will be. You just have to trust that and maybe you will suddenly find that you feel her there with you again. It was only today that I was thinking about that quote that goes something along the lines of 'in order to get the rainbow we first have to get the rain'... Hang in there OP you are never alone
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19-06-2013 20:48 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Perhaps you could see your gp and get a referral to talk to someone.... maybe talking to someone may help or make suggestions to help you
Well I can honestly say for ME the past 5 years have been the most incredible roller coaster, some of the lowest of lows I never thought could get so bad.... but I believe everything happens for a reason bad things happen... but they happen for a reason and sometimes it takes a while to see why...
Set yourself some small medium and large goals...
Set a few small goals but things that would make you really happy...
It could be studying something new paet time from home
Having a day to yourself doing things you want get a massage, nails etc(if you could maybe get someone to watch bub)
Change of career
Maybe start going to a new playgroup or something to surround yourself with new people
It could be anything
Small goals will add up and make a huge difference
When you're down you may only see the negative things, you will get back up you will see how much happiness you can find.
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20-06-2013 05:28 #4
Thanks so much for your replies girls!
Theophania the trust thing is definitely an issue, I don't trust others as easily and I've stopped trusting myself, I'm not as confident taking chances anymore, I used to be very sure of myself, now not so much.
Do you think I need to see a counsellor again? When I had PND I know I was pretty bad, couldn't leave the house etc. But I don't feel that way now, I just feel insecure maybe.. Searching for something to believe in
20-06-2013 05:29 #5
Fairyflossy I like your comment about goals, I think that's a great thing for me to do!
20-06-2013 06:02 #6
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