My partner smoked when I met him. I had no plans to have kids but knew that he did. The relationship moved pretty fast and we were engaged after a year. Married a year later and now expecting our first child 1.5 years after that. When we talked about kids he always said he wanted to give up prior ttc but he always struggled. He tried quite a few different stop smoking aids but was never successful. I didn't pressure him too much because unless you really want something for yourself you won't be successful. I am completely against smoking so once I was pregnant I took him to the doctors for a prescription to those stop smoking pills. He had a bad reaction to them so stopped taking them. He has been cold turkey since then and hopes he keeps it up. It's not just important to me for health reasons but also as a role model to our kids.
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20-06-2013 15:12 #41Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
20-06-2013 15:21 #42
My boyfriend used to smoke. He quite about 6 months before we met. He says he will never smoke again, but there are times I think 'hmmm' cos he told me he had quite before and then started again He started when he was 16 and he's now 30. He hasn't smoked in over a year now which is good. From what I was told he wasn't a heavy smoker, but nontheless, he still smoked.
As for your question, yes I would nag. Sorry, but I can't stand the smell of ciggarette smoke and I have told him that if he takes it up again I won't be kissing him lol. I wouldn't break up with him over it though, but def wouldn't be happy and I'd make it known.
20-06-2013 15:28 #43
A little different but my DP used to drink more than I liked. She's cut down slowly since ttc and pregnancy. I have said that I don't want our son exposed to excess drinking the way she used to, and she agreed and it's much better now.
But if she hadn't, I wouldn't have left her, but I would have insisted if she was going to drink heavily, to do it elsewhere and not come home until she was in a proper state to interact with her child and help me out.
Fortunately that never came to pass
If they want to do it, they will.
20-06-2013 19:07 #44
Nope. Unless they lie about it or start it up once you start the relationship... Otherwise you know from the start that that's what you decided to accept when you started seeing them.
20-06-2013 19:38 #45-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
You can ask them to quit. You can give them a piece of your mind about how smoking is ferrel and makes you sick. You can leave them if they continue to smoke.But you can't tell a grown adult to stop.
20-06-2013 20:06 #46
Of course you cant MAKE them, but by god you can let them know how stupid and selfish they are being!!!!
20-06-2013 20:10 #47
There's a huge difference in asking someone to quit smoking and telling them to quit smoking.
I couldn't ever be with a smoker, for a few reasons.
• The smell
• The waste of money
• And most importantly it being harmful
If DF took up smoking I would ask him to quit, I wouldn't force him as it's not my decision to make but I'd make sure he knew that as long as he did it he wouldn't be getting any action from me as I don't like kissing ashtrays
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20-06-2013 20:40 #48
Dh has smoked since we started dating and quit a fe times for a few months. When I found out I was pregnant I did start discussing with him the dangers of smoking, how I didn't want to have to tell our kids he had cancer from smoking, etc. as my due date drew closer I told him if he wanted to continue smoking he couldn't do it at home, he had to change his clothes, brush his teeth and have a shower before holding dd. I guess it sounded like too much hard work coz he quit a week before she was born lol he's now five weeks cigarette free
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20-06-2013 21:25 #49Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Yes I do believe you have the right to mention it. However, what u do with the answer is your decision. If you ask them to quit and they won't. Then you either deal with it or leave. But hell, at least let them know their options?
I was the smoker. I took it up when I was in the middle of breaking up with my ex and starting to date my now husband. I had smoked full time before but took it up again in that stressful situation.
I wore rubber gloves, brushed my teeth etc to try and not make my husband suffer from my smell.
I also never smoked around him. I'd easily go hours and overnight without one as I'd be spending time with him.
6 months into the relationship he simply told me we were not getting married or having kids until I quit. He refused to tie down with someone that was 'killing themselves' and being pregnant and smoking was something he wouldn't put up with.
I respected his decision. Sure quitting was hard.. But I've now been quit for a few years, we're married and I'm pregnant.
He kept his end of the deal, so did I.
However, if I took it up again.. I'm sure he wouldn't be impressed
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20-06-2013 21:58 #50
When we meet, I was a smoker, DP was not. A few years later I quit cold turkey for my own reasons...he never asked me to quit. About 2 years after that, DP took up smoking for the first time in his life (dont ask why....it baffles me too). He smoked for good year or so and I didnt ask him to quit....he quit on his own accord once he found out I was pregnant.
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