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  1. #141
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    cassieh I don't understand how you can be so indignant and accuse people of being rude when you basically said the exact same thing, albeit for the opposite type of parenting style.

    Honestly, I think you need to step back. A lot of your posts come across as fairly judgmental IMO. You haven't been a parent very long and I'm glad it's going well for you. But the longer you're a parent, the more you will realise that a lot of that is down to luck and not just because you're an awesome parent (not saying you're not).

    Some people don't have easy experiences or cope with things as well as others. As mothers we should support each other. Saying you "hate" mothers who parent different to you is pretty off.

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  3. #142
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    I had my son on a routine and I plan on doing so with this one. I have a happy healthy baby with consistent sleeps since he was 1 week old. Everyone comments on how well he sleeps and how lucky I am. Several have asked me to write down my routine so they can do for their baby.

    I never in my life let my baby cry and ignored him. I would check if he was wet or had a pain if not he got a feed and the routine was adjusted for the rest of the day. If he wanted a cuddle he got a cuddle. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times he cried for a feed - mostly for wind that once I got out he fell straight back to sleep.

    If I didn't know my baby probably wasnt hungry at that stage and not investigated I would have just fed him and maybe made the wind worse???

    It is a big assumption that mothers who have their babies on a routine are rigid and neglect their sad babies. Sometimes they are actually more tuned in to their babies needs (not always)

    I don't judge mothers who don't go off a routine, each to their own, it just was the best option for me and my son.
    Last edited by Meld85; 20-06-2013 at 10:31.

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  5. #143
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    I am going to stay away from the whole routine argument but just say its hard not to judge. In saying that I find it easier to judge people if I know the situation because along with judgment comes an understanding that the parents might be doing it tough, not have a support network, not have the skills to cope with the situation. I don't care how a parent chooses to parent. Sometimes the mothers needs come first and what works for one parent won't

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  7. #144
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    Work for another. I wouldn't judge someone if their child was screaming. I would ask if the parent was okay, coping, needing a hand.

  8. #145
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    I don't follow a strict routine, it is almost impossible with a 5 year old, 2 year old and 6 month old.

  9. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    Excuse me? I think you are incredibly rude to assume that my son is not happy, smiling & thriving just because I don't have him in a routine. I demand breast feed him, he naps throughout the day, he has lots of tummy time, we have baths morning & night & he sleeps great at night. In fact, when ever I take him to appointments or meet new people they comment on how they have never seen such a content baby.

    Now, to be clear... When I refer to a routine I am talking about parents who want their baby napping at a certain time (regardless of whether they are crying hysterically) and feed at a certain time. I do think it's cruel to leave a baby crying hysterically in a cot just because you want it in a routine. I don't have a problem with routine later on in life, but I think it's sad to expect a new born baby to fit into your schedule.
    I think you have the wrong idea of routines. If you understood exactly how they work you wouldn't be saying the above. And those parents who neglect their babies are also doing routine wrong. My son rarely cries and yes he feeds and sleeps at the same time every day. Demand feeding works for your baby routine works for mine. Why can't we be happy with that and support each other in our journeys?! No 1 way is totally right.

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  11. #147
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    I think we are talking about different ideas of what constitutes a 'routine' - it's not a black and white term.

    Routine can be used to describe anything from forcing a baby to fall to conform to feed/play/sleep routines according to the clock regardless of what the baby would like to do, to allowing the baby to fall into their own pattern each day by following their own cues. Whilst I don't believe it's optimal to force a baby to conform according to the clock I do believe there is benefit to be hand from the baby knowing patterns each day (eg bath-boob-bed at night). My DS fell into his own pattern each day, I guess you could call it a routine. My DD did not and no amount of encouragement would have made her change this - she was a very challenging baby.

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  13. #148
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    No. I have my own problems to sort out lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mathermy View Post
    I judge parents who smugly consider themselves 'experts' on not only their babies (but given that they can't seem to keep their story straight even about that, who would know?) but everyone else's babies after about 5 seconds of parenting.

    Honey, Let's meet back here in a few years and the pair of us will giggle over a slice of humble pie & just how much we all have to learn in this parenting gig
    This.

    Sent from my GT-N8010 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    If you want to talk routines, and to witness a bit of judging, pop over to my SOS thread!


 

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