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  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    Excuse me? I think you are incredibly rude to assume that my son is not happy, smiling & thriving just because I don't have him in a routine. I demand breast feed him, he naps throughout the day, he has lots of tummy time, we have baths morning & night & he sleeps great at night. In fact, when ever I take him to appointments or meet new people they comment on how they have never seen such a content baby.

    Now, to be clear... When I refer to a routine I am talking about parents who want their baby napping at a certain time (regardless of whether they are crying hysterically) and feed at a certain time. I do think it's cruel to leave a baby crying hysterically in a cot just because you want it in a routine. I don't have a problem with routine later on in life, but I think it's sad to expect a new born baby to fit into your schedule.
    We are in a routine and I NEVER leave my baby to cry hysterically. I highly doubt anyone with a heart would so your assumption is dead wrong! Again another silly comment from you. Just because one has a routine, doesn't mean it's rigid.

    You think I'm rude? No problem, cause I happen to think that you and your ridiculous assumptions are rude too!

    You don't want your child in a routine? Good for you! But how dare you go saying that parents that do routines for their babies are mean and sad! It's a fact that babies need structure and routine. Before this routine my DD was crying all the time, slept poorly and was just generally miserable. How horrible of me to put her in a routine where she's happy now 95% of the time and sleeps like a champ. Terrible mother I am!!
    Last edited by FirstTimeMummy2012; 20-06-2013 at 10:25.

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  3. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    Excuse me? I think you are incredibly rude to assume that my son is not happy, smiling & thriving just because I don't have him in a routine. I demand breast feed him, he naps throughout the day, he has lots of tummy time, we have baths morning & night & he sleeps great at night. In fact, when ever I take him to appointments or meet new people they comment on how they have never seen such a content baby.

    Now, to be clear... When I refer to a routine I am talking about parents who want their baby napping at a certain time (regardless of whether they are crying hysterically) and feed at a certain time. I do think it's cruel to leave a baby crying hysterically in a cot just because you want it in a routine. I don't have a problem with routine later on in life, but I think it's sad to expect a new born baby to fit into your schedule.
    I think thats exactly the point FTM was tryibg to make - that just because someone parents differently to you doesnt make them wrong or that their baby is unhappy, and just to be clear, I plan to demand feed (for now we're waking to feed as he is too sleepy and not feeding well) and I co-sleep and ive barely put my baby down in the week since he was born but even I found your post to come across as offensive.

    People do what they feel is best and of course thats never going to be the same as everyone else - if their baby is healthy, fed and thriving, who are you to judge?

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  5. #133
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    I'm sure plenty of people were judging me last night as we flew from Syd to Perth with 2 feral toddlers last night.

    The looks we got from other passengers... What do you??!!

    That's life, judge away.

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  7. #134
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    I think thats exactly the point FTM was tryibg to make - that just because someone parents differently to you doesnt make them wrong or that their baby is unhappy, and just to be clear, I plan to demand feed (for now we're waking to feed as he is too sleepy and not feeding well) and I co-sleep and ive barely put my baby down in the week since he was born but even I found your post to come across as offensive.

    People do what they feel is best and of course thats never going to be the same as everyone else - if their baby is healthy, fed and thriving, who are you to judge?

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Thanks peanutmonkey! Exactly what I meant! I understand that routine isn't for everyone but why judge someone who chooses to do it?

    To clarify, I don't judge those who don't do routine, but I do think that every baby can benefit from one.

    Oh and peanut I think it's sweet you haven't put your newbie down I pretty much help my newbie the first week she was born non stop!

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  9. #135
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    Personally I wouldn't judge a parent for trying to it their newborn on a routine. They are usually doing it with the best intentions and for a good reason, like they aren't coping as a family and are trying absolutely everything to keep the household together.

    When my son was born I felt completely unprepared and sort of went into shock, I couldn't cope with the sleep deprivation and was desperate to do something that worked, so I tried putting him into a routine. I also had bad pnd and couldn't cope with demand feeding around the clock. Ill admit at times this meant putting him down in the cot and trying to make him sleep when he was crying and probably needed another approach but I just wasn't able to do it. Now I look back on it and wish I was able to do it a little differently but I know I did my best. I sure didn't need people judging me!!!!

    He is now still on a routine and a healthy happy baby.

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  11. #136
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    If the worst thing a parent does is implement a routine then they're doing a pretty stand up job I reckon.

    Of course if that routine is so rigid that the baby's needs are neglected, of course that's not okay, I don't think many people would think it was!!! I keep a basic routine for the kids I look after and even though it varies daily, I think they really benefit from knowing that after lunch we nap/rest, after dinner with bathe and after bath time it's stories and bed.

    Of course some days he doesn't eat at lunch time, but I still feed him when he gets hungry

    Some people thrive on structure, some don't.

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  13. #137
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    I've been judged a million times. Doesn't phase me their opinion isn't valid. But I do judge parents who don't look after their kids by this I mean not being attentive caring loving providing parents. Ie not feeding properly not maintaining good hygiene & living environment not having their child presented well clean & tidy ,being abusive towards children or letting their kids run feral in places where it's not appropriate & not batting an eyelid at it.

    All of which I've observed first hand from a family member & it makes me want to slap her & tell her to pull her head in n look after her kids properly & stop being so lazy & expecting everyone else to Do it for her & yet she's one to judge me for being a young mum when her children have been taken off her multiple times & she's only 3 yrs older than me & having another kid when she can't look after the 3 she already has while her partner is in jail again
    So yer I judge when I don't see kids being looked after properly

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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    Yeah see that's standard stuff,
    I've met people who actively ignore their 7/8 week olds screaming and giving clear hunger signs because it had 'only' been 3 hours,

    I've seen the same person ignore their baby til it was screaming hysterically when I had already said oh bubba looks like it's getting tired, sure enough the screaming started and still bub was ignored someone else picked it up and put it to sleep

    Which is the kind of stuff I read cassiehs comment to be about
    You are right. That's exactly what I'm talking about. People who neglect their children because it doesn't fit into their planned routine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    If the worst thing a parent does is implement a routine then they're doing a pretty stand up job I reckon.

    Of course if that routine is so rigid that the baby's needs are neglected, of course that's not okay, I don't think many people would think it was!!! I keep a basic routine for the kids I look after and even though it varies daily, I think they really benefit from knowing that after lunch we nap/rest, after dinner with bathe and after bath time it's stories and bed.

    Of course some days he doesn't eat at lunch time, but I still feed him when he gets hungry

    Some people thrive on structure, some don't.
    The rigid routines are the ones I judge. If your baby is hungry, feed it. If its crying, cuddle it. I don't like the whole.. Bub feeds at this time & that time... Having a bed and bath routine is completely different and not what I'm talking about at all.

  16. #140
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    I just it just seems like it's a bit unfair to specify 'routine' when what you mean is a routine that is neglectful, because I'm sure there are far more people who use loose routines than those who use neglectful ones!

    This is coming from someone who doesn't plan on using a routine with bub unless it seems necessary, by the way.

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