Gosh I'm so so sorry this happened to you and your daughter, it's just awful!
Have you spoken to your daughter about her thoughts on the baby? Yes she is still young but she obviously knows the baby is a result of what happened? I really don't mean to sound rude or anything but she probably has her own feelings about the baby, she might resent it, be scared etc, I would be talking to her about how she really feels.
I so hope they catch these evil evil men, what a truly horrific thing to have happen to you, I'm so sorry!
You sound so incredibly strong!
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17-06-2013 09:25 #71
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17-06-2013 09:51 #72Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Cleo - (Text/link deleted by Moderator)
I'm so sorry you and your daughter (and future child) have been through so much trauma. You sound like a very special family, and regardless of it's start in life, every innocent baby deserves love and security. Whatever you decide will be fine as I know you will ensure your new baby has that
I know many SMCs with more than one child, often with quite a big age gap because they had one or two in a marriage/relationship which broke up years later, and then had one solo to complete their family later on. The circumstances all differed, but they often talk about how great it is to have a much older first child. I wish you and your family the best of health and happiness going forward. Good luck!
Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 23-06-2013 at 13:27. Reason: Link not permitted and removed.
17-06-2013 10:25 #73
I keep thinking about your story and I can't think of anything you could have done that would have stopped the attack. As horrible as the outcome was, your daughter wasn't harmed and you're alive. Your actions saved her, and her mum is around to care for her still. You did good.
I think as others have said just wait and see how you feel. Give yourself a month or however long you need to work out how you're feeling.
17-06-2013 10:56 #74
You're right, there's really nothing that I could have done different. Except check all doors and windows. Even then it only would have slowed them down, not stopped them. The next hurdle is about their ages, or perceived ages at least since it's a guess at this stage. I know it sounds like it doesn't matter but I keep think they're just kids. Kids! Where are their parents? What happened in their young lives that could lead them to these choices? All hypotheticals, but they seemed so young and to have such capabilities and be able to carry out a violent act like that. Will be speaking more in detail about that with the psychologist.
17-06-2013 12:18 #75Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I have no advice for you but could not reply.
Sending you and your daughter the biggest hugs in the world.
Take care xoxoxo
17-06-2013 21:35 #76
My daughter has spoken to people about her brother or sister, so she already has some feelings about the baby.
18-06-2013 22:47 #77Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Hi Secret of Cleo,
I couldn't read and not say anything. I'm so sorry that you and your daughter have had this happen. Huge hugs to you.
You sound like such an amazing strong woman.
Just wanted to say that I was in a similar situation to your daughter when I was about the same age, we had a home invasion which also resulted in my mum being raped and me being a witness to this. I don't know if your daughter understands exactly what has happened but all the advice I can offer is to talk about it with her now and when she is older and might have more questions about it. I'm now 28 and its still something that I have trouble with now, I can't bring myself to talk about it with my mum as too scared to upset her. If not organised already counselling for your daughter may be a good option. My mum didn't have a pregnancy from her attack so I can't relate to that.
If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me.
23-06-2013 11:51 #78
23-06-2013 14:10 #79Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I am so very sorry you and your daughter have had to go through such a horrible ordeal. But can I say how amazed I am by your strength?
You are truly a survivor, and your new baby and your daughter are blessed to have you as a mother.
How can I give any advice beyond keep doing what you are doing? Keep moving forward, as you are and looking to the happy moments! I truly hope you and your daughter can talk through these things and not hold onto them....
I have been through some horrible things but did not have your strength... I think it sounds like you could give us the advice we need to move on from the things that get us down. Sorry the advice is so thin, but the support here is solid.
26-06-2013 21:11 #80
I just read your story - so terrible for you and you daughter. I can't imagine being in your shoes. I am wondering though, why you were not offered the morning-after-pill? I work in health and this is standard treatment in any case like yours. I would be questioning the health service you attended if you were not offered it. Especially considering the situation you now find yourself in. Good luck.
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