No advice either but I am thinking of you. I cant imagine how scary that would have been hugs!
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17-06-2013 00:03 #51Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
17-06-2013 00:18 #52
Huge huge hugs xx I'm so sorry you had to endure such a horrible event
I have no advice but I wish you all the best. You sound like an amazing mum and also a very strong woman. You deserve happiness and I hope the decisions ahead find you that happiness xx
17-06-2013 00:21 #53Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I hope for your sake Hun.... And please don't take this as a racist comment... That this bubba looks exactly like his/her mum. And is not an everyday reminder of the ordeal u have faced. Sending you and ur little girl big hugs!
17-06-2013 01:40 #54
[QUOTE=Secret of Cleo;7298067]Another sole parent by choice! Yay! I don't get to meet too many. I think the main difference is that I made the choice to use donor sperm to have a baby on my own, whereas this time it was completely unplanned as well as being basically anonymous for now, but there is also a high chance these people will be caught then one of them will know he has a biological child and that's a very scary position to be in, one I would not be in using donor sperm from someone giving up their sperm but wanting no part in parenting. Not sure if that makes sense?
Can you believe I actually work with another woman who is solo by choice? Our numbers are getting up there! I work in a very male dominated environment and no body has blinked an eye at either of our pregnancy announcements .
I totally understand where you're coming from regarding choice vs having it forced upon you. There is no doubt in my mind that these people will break the law again and thus get caught, it's just a matter of when. I don't mean to make race generalisations but I reckon he would probably have a posse of kids already. I doubt he would ever be given access but it would certainly shove how you child was conceived in your face when he is.
As others have said you've been amazingly strong so far, and I'm sorry that you still have hard choices to make. I honestly think which ever choice you make you won't regret. Your daughter has already seen so much and it wise beyond her years, don't be afraid to talk to her about your options, it affects her too and might help you reach a decision your comfortable with.
I'm just so glad your daughter is safe and your quick thinking saved her. Be very proud of yourself and her.
17-06-2013 07:07 #55Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
So sorry you went through that sorry I have no advice
17-06-2013 07:33 #56
The psychologist has helped me through the most difficult part of it, which was the whole what could I have done better to change the outcome part, and also the age part, we're still working on that, it was difficult to give an exact age, but out of the ones I have clear memories of, 2 were around 16 to 18, the other maybe early to mid 20s. Kids! That's a really tough part to get through as well. But we're working on it. I do need to stop feeling so much guilt over it.
17-06-2013 07:56 #57
Hugs, hugs, hugs lots and lots of hugs.
You sound like an amazingly strong woman.
** Sent from my PP4MT-7 **
17-06-2013 07:57 #58
I'm really sorry you and your daughter experienced something just so awful.
Do you have enough support IRL now, during the pregnancy, and also for after bub is born? Friends and family who won't judge you, whatever you decide?
17-06-2013 07:58 #59Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
I'm so terribly sorry you and your daughter have had to go through such a horrific event.
You sound like an amazingly strong women. Hugs.
17-06-2013 08:09 #60
Firstly massive hugs, for you and your dd. It's good that you have both had counselling and I hope that continues if you feel the need.
As for the gap, I think it will just come back to you. I don't doubt it will be challenging at times but you come across as an amazingly strong woman. I hope this strength is able to continue to help you.
Best wishes for you and your dd.
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