Our five and a half year old daughter died from an asthma attack in May last year. Our little boy was nineteen months old at the time. From the time Sian passed away, we have told Dane that Sian got very sick and her heart stopped and she died (our SIDS counsellor said it's very important to use the word 'died'). We have said that she died and went to heaven and that God is looking after her. We have Sian's ashes in our garden and Dane goes out to "Bup's Garden" (he's always called her Bup). Eventually we will need to explain cremation to him, but we'll do that when he asks more questions.
Just today I went to a funeral and I told Dane that the man had died and gone to heaven, and he said to me, "Peter in heaven, Bup, God". I think he understood that Peter was now with Sian. It's such a hard thing to explain to a little person.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 18 of 18
13-06-2013 19:47 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
The Following User Says Thank You to siansmum For This Useful Post:
13-06-2013 20:30 #12
It's a hard situation. My dd was 3yrs when I had our 2nd still born, so was very aware that I was pregnant, she was going to be a big sister etc. We explained that her little sister was very sick and the drs couldn't fix her and she died. The truth. I explain that in our family we believe in heaven and believe that her sister is with God (and the dinosaurs and all the other people and animals who have died) but other families don't belive in that and that's ok. Unfortunately death is something children are going to have face in life, no matter what age they are, and the more honest you are, the better chance of understanding and preventing fear you can provide. Death is not something that can be sugar coated. When someone dies children, children look to their parents to provide answers and support, be honest, honesty will not hurt or harm them, the pretending like it didn't happen or not including them it what causes the harm later in life.
13-06-2013 23:55 #13
There's an old episode of sesame Street (83, 84?) Where Mr. Cooper dies. I think they do a great job of explaining it to Big Bird.
Sent from my doodad on the whatsimagiggy
14-06-2013 05:11 #14
These posts are sad. Sorry for all ur losses.
Death hasnt come up yet as dd is only 2.5 but ill be telling her what i believe. That they are gone for now, are not in pain and are safe in Gods memory but we will see them again one day
Its hard as none of us accept death very well, even as adults
Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
14-06-2013 05:34 #15
We haven't had to cross this bridge yet. I started a thread a few weeks/months ago on pretty much the same topic. I would search and give you a link but my connection is so slow it keeps timing out of the search.
14-06-2013 05:40 #16
I think you should just tell them the truth but in a way they will understand it. It's hard though. xx
14-06-2013 05:52 #17
Oh siansmum and Melissa - my heart breaks for you both
From advice on here we'll tell DD in a way she'll understand. Thanks x
14-06-2013 07:06 #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
DD was only just 3 when we lost DH Nanna and then about 3.5 when we had to have our dog put down. We told her the truth both times - that they were very sick and couldn't better, they were in heaven now and one day we'd get to see them again. Loosing Nanna before out dog made it easier for her cause she believes Nanna is looking after Hendrix in heaven and playing with him and buying him new toys ect. Sometimes she will ask if they are going come back again, we just explain that there is no way for them to get out of heaven and although they're better in heaven they would be very sick again if they were able to come back.
By Kahu in forum pregnancy and babies through IVFReplies: 18Last Post: 24-05-2013, 18:00
By Busy-Bee in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & ChatReplies: 30Last Post: 27-07-2012, 11:40
By ~ElectricPink~ in forum General ChatReplies: 19Last Post: 04-07-2012, 00:21
Cots on BubhubLooking to buy a cot or bassinet? :: Cot safety checklist :: Local or online nursery ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
What are our chances??pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF babies due March/April/May 2017#2pregnancy and babies through IVF
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Am I the only thread killer??General Chat
Married At First Sight 2017Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
Would you delay TTC because first child is starting first year of school.General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat