Just curious because some people find it difficult to figure out, like me. How do you know when there's so much negatives? Eg living in a recession, loss of income, loss of freedom etc
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12-06-2013 18:33 #1Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
How do you know if you want kids?
12-06-2013 18:44 #2
For me, I didn't know for sure that I wanted them until I couldn't have them.
When I thought it was my choice, I would get weighed down in what I now consider to be little things, like budgets and living arrangements. Not being able to have any has made me realise that having kids is so much more than these practical impacts they have on your life.
That is my perspective, anyway.
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12-06-2013 18:49 #3
I found it incredibly difficult. I had never been clucky in my life. Put me in front of a baby or a kitten and every time I will go to the kitten!!!
Cluckiness started to hit me once I was over 35. I kind of started thinking about the possibility but still was very far from sure if it was something I wanted to do. I was very mindful that I would never even consider bringing as child into the world unless it was something I was absolutely positive I wanted.
I was 38 by the time I decided yes, this is something I want to do. Luckily for me my eggs had not turned into sultanas and I was lucky enough to fall pregnant relatively easily. Unfortunately my relationship with FOB did not work out and we broke up just after I found out I was pregnant.
I consider myself incredibly lucky to be pregnant, especially given my age. As to my circumstances, I think that my age is an advantage in that am established in my life, own my house and car etc and feel that even though it would be nice to be going through this with a loving partner, I am going to make the best of it and simply cannot wait until my baby is born!!!!!
it is a massive decision and certainly not one to take lightly. For me I feel I am the luckiest girl in the world, I got to live the wild life, climb the corporate ladder, have a successful career, travel the globe, live overseas for years and now the most exciting chapter is only just beginning - motherhood!!!!!
12-06-2013 18:56 #4
I didn't have trouble deciding because I had a lot of experience with kids and knew that I would not be happy without them in my life. I reckon that if you don't Just want them deep down then you will find it hard to justify the expense and loss of freedom. If you do want them deep down then there will be a point where all the downsides wont really matter.
12-06-2013 18:57 #5
I always knew I wanted kids. I grew up with lots of younger siblings so I was always exposed to lots of kids running around.
12-06-2013 19:06 #6
Since childhood, I was adamant that I didn't want any children or marriage and once I met dh that all changed. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of wanting a child... Now I want 4
12-06-2013 19:16 #7
12-06-2013 19:17 #8
Legitimate question (and perhaps more should ask it before going down this path!) but not sure this is the best place (childless NOT by choice section).
I think you've probably answered your own question for now, and your feelings may change in the future. Also choosing not to have children (childless by choice) is the right path for some women.
12-06-2013 19:24 #9
13-06-2013 11:25 #10Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
I apologize maybe in hindsight I should've have posted here. I was never that interested in marriage or kids. But now I'm engaged and facing this situation. I wanted to know when some women older than me can't decide and a lot ending up taking a chance.
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