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  1. #21
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    I dont think it is hypocritical AT ALL. <- completely agree here...

    I can imagine the incredibly mixed feelings you are having, I think if it were me, I'd give myself a certain amount of time (say a week?) to just let the whole thing settle, let your emotions play out, and when you are feeling on an even keel again, then think dispassionately about the whole situation.
    And if you can get some info from a 3rd party to help with your decision, more the better.
    Family stuff can twist you in knots, and cause all sorts of completely contradictory feelings.
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 11-06-2013 at 15:02.

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  3. #22
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    Oh monster moose you poor thing. It sounds like a lose/lose situation you are in. What does your hubby think about this? Does he support what you decide or would he rather let it lie.

    From the sounds of things you are opening yourself up for a lot of drama if you make contact and you need to be prepared mentally for what it will dredge up.

    Have you thougt of a letter? Maybe gives you a chance to sort of tell your mum why you cut ties in the first place and that you are obviously afraid they are playing games like with your pop. Write it all down - give it a few days before sending so you can change if something was said emotionally. As you don't want to regret anything - just were it matter of factly. Oh and put a family photo in there.

    You can write on the end if she is not playing games and still wants to make contact then give her your mobile # - this leaves the ball in her court - takes the pressure off you.

    I figure she will either not call you which your no worse off and at least you won't feel guilt if the worse happens or she will call you and at least you have been able to have your say so you guys can have a chance to move on.

    That's what I would do - did do with my estranged dad. We struggled talking so I sent him a letter with my point of view

    Just a thought

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  5. #23
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    DH rang me to let me know e would be working late and I told him. He said to do what my heart tells me and even despite what he's seen me go through what he was accused of and everything from the past, he will do what he's always Done and that's support me no matter what I do.

    SIL gets off work at 4:30 and she's going to ring. So I will find out soon wether or not I'm being toyed with or not.

    Thanks everyone for he supportive comments just reaffirms why I love BH, you guys are awesome



    Me(21)+DH(25)+DS(4)+DD(2)
    Tank(mastiff x)+Echo(oz cattle)

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    Atropos  (11-06-2013),bpac  (11-06-2013),dancingchipmunk  (11-06-2013),Lauzy83  (11-06-2013),Renesme  (11-06-2013)

  7. #24
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Hope you can find peace with whatever the outcome


    Braiiiiins
    *60kilos lost*

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  9. #25
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    Surprise surprise it was utter bullsh!t!

    I'm so far over the manipulative childish sick games she plays, I cannot for one minute understand why I even slightly thought it was true.

    I rang her myself and told her to rot in hell an I mean every go damn word of it.

    I was so angry I had a smoke after months of not having one single cigarette.

    I've told mil if she gets anymore notes to bin them I don't want to know anything. I couldn't care.





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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonsterMoosMum View Post
    Surprise surprise it was utter bullsh!t!

    I'm so far over the manipulative childish sick games she plays, I cannot for one minute understand why I even slightly thought it was true.

    I rang her myself and told her to rot in hell an I mean every go damn word of it.

    I was so angry I had a smoke after months of not having one single cigarette.

    I've told mil if she gets anymore notes to bin them I don't want to know anything. I couldn't care.





    Me(21)+DH(25)+DS(4)+DD(2)
    Tank(mastiff x)+Echo(oz cattle)
    Oh no I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're ok considering xx

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  12. #27
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    I'm ****ed off. Angry. I swear if I could reach through a god damn phone!!!!!
    It has reaffirmed why I cut contact and why now I am confident in my decision to keep her out of my life ... Fr good.
    Like I said to SIL now I know why apart of me was hesitant and obviously or good reason.



    Me(21)+DH(25)+DS(4)+DD(2)
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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonsterMoosMum View Post
    Surprise surprise it was utter bullsh!t!

    I'm so far over the manipulative childish sick games she plays, I cannot for one minute understand why I even slightly thought it was true.

    I rang her myself and told her to rot in hell an I mean every go damn word of it.

    I was so angry I had a smoke after months of not having one single cigarette.

    I've told mil if she gets anymore notes to bin them I don't want to know anything. I couldn't care.





    Me(21)+DH(25)+DS(4)+DD(2)
    Tank(mastiff x)+Echo(oz cattle)
    Big I have no idea what would motivate someone to do such an awful thing. The fact that you cared shows you are not a heartless person- unlike those who lie about illness to get a rise out of someone!

    Don't beat yourself up over the smoke, back up on the wagon

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  16. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Big I have no idea what would motivate someone to do such an awful thing. The fact that you cared shows you are not a heartless person- unlike those who lie about illness to get a rise out of someone!

    Don't beat yourself up over the smoke, back up on the wagon
    According to what she told SIL she did it to see if I still loved her and as a way to build a relationship

    ..... Yeah that's the smartest thing I've ever heard NOT

    Grrr that smoke was so good but now it makes me feel like an utter failure.
    I'm so angry that I honestly thank my lucky stars I'm over 12 hours away. I've never felt the urge to want to slap someone as much as I currently do.

    Who freaking does this?!?!? A crazy manipulative but job that who



    Me(21)+DH(25)+DS(4)+DD(2)
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  18. #30
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    Faaark! You poor thing
    How did these people raise a normal daughter?? Well, you've always seemed pretty normal on BH anyway

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