I don't think ill ever be done...especially as I don't know if or when I'll have another. Took 3.5yrs to conceive my now 2.5yr old son. I thought that when I had him I was so lucky to at least have 1...cause I didn't think I'd ever have one. I had a great pregnancy but c-section...loved being pregnant!! But I have an overwhelming desire to have many more. Would love 3-4. Thought definitely at 40 I would stop so I could get on with life and not have to do nappies again at that age. ..but I changed my mind. Plus my husband is an only child and I'm one of 5.
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09-06-2013 23:24 #21
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10-06-2013 08:21 #22Senior Member
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- Sep 2012
I knew i was done after my second was born. Every now and then (usually after seeing or holding a newborn) i get super clucky and think 'oh one more would be nice'. Deep down i know i done. I look at my family and it complete.
I was talking to a friend (shes in her 50's) and i was asking if that feeling ever goes away. Her answer 'yes but only just now'.
I think it very normal to get clucky etc. For a woman who has experienced pregnancy/newborns etc and if of child bearing age i think its VERY normal. How else would we think its ok to go back and do labour again
10-06-2013 09:20 #23
I'm done I can't afford another child financially, emotionally or physically so for those reasons I know I'm done. I finally have a career I love and I am single with a mortgage too.
Dd only has 6 mths if childcare left so I will hopefully have some extra $$$ then and working full time means I have to split myself between my kids and work already so having another would not be fair to anyone. I can't even find a new romance because just I don't have time.
If it plays on your mind then maybe your family's not complete.
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10-06-2013 20:55 #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
I always wanted a large family and have a bit of a gap between DD1 and DD2 nearly four years but in between we had a miscarriage and twins lost in a sad pregnancy. But I am clucky but just the other day my DH and I went to a seminar about weightloss and surgery and the dr explained that with gastric sleeve you have to wait for 12 to 18 months to get pregnant again. So my DH said I want another I was so shocked. But since Friday I now feel we are done, its hard when you have no family around to help with the children. Its amazed me that I have come to this decision. But universities are expensive and at the moment DD1 would be considered an overseas citizen so those fees will be sky high.
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30-07-2013 11:30 #25
We are done, although not by choice. :-( struggling with the fact. I always pictured myself with more than one child, but we only have one living baby girl and it will most probably stay like that!
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30-07-2013 12:09 #26-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
When I was pregnant with DD3 I absolutely knew she would be our last! I don't get clucky at all now and the thought of another pregnancy scares me!
I think that's probably one of the main differences- after Dd2 was born I felt really sad at the prospect of never having another pregnancy/baby again. I also felt like someone was missing from the family, if that makes sense?
Re the middle child, I was worried about making DD2 (my 'baby') a middle child too. I read the book 'The secret power of middle children' and it made me feel lucky to have a middle child, as the author described so many positives traits of 'middles'. And, despite the normal arguments, it's actually really nice to see the dynamics between the three of them.
Last edited by 1234Guest; 30-07-2013 at 13:42.
30-07-2013 12:37 #27
I'm not sure how you know when you're 'done' but I'm a middle child and I'm pretty awesome!!
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30-07-2013 13:11 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I know i am done with having kids because we are moving on with the next stage of our lives now and having another child would throw those plans out too much.
We were both fairly young when we started our family. I was 24, DH was 27. We had been married 3 years before we started our family. We had our 2 kids just shy of 2 years appart. DD was unplanned, DS was planned. Wonderful, uncomplicated pregnancies, fell pregnant staright away both times.
DD is 2.5ys and DS is 7mths.
I am almost done completing my uni course in which i will apply for jobs at the end of this year.
DH is applying for a new job the end of this year too.
DD is happily in daycare on my 2 study days - i will just put her in an extra day when im working. The following year she starts kinder so the increase in daycare would be good for her.
DS will start daycare when i return to work next year.
We almost have our house deposit saved and are seriously first home hunting ATM.
I always "knew" i wanted more than one child. I always "knew" i wouldnt cope with any more than two. When DD was 6mths, DH and i started talking about having another baby and i was THRILLED at the idea. DS is 7mths and I cant imagine falling pregnant again. My head just is not in that frame of mind at all. Dh feels the same. Its important to see how your partner feels about it too. Sometimes it can help to give you some perspective.
When i held a newborn a couple weeks ago m forst thought was "thank god im done with that stage of my life!" i felt quite content about being "done".
I am a middle child of 3 and DH is a middle child of 6. DH siblings all her 3+ kids each. WE are completely happy with our "smaller" family lol.
Last edited by the very last country song; 30-07-2013 at 13:20.
30-07-2013 13:29 #29
I know im done because when i think about a 4th child i feel physically ill. And i get that fight or flight anxiety.
When i see newbies im like '... And?'
That sounds so harsh lol i guess thats how i know im done. And it feels great!
30-07-2013 13:32 #30
I know because I already have too many. I have 4 and I know any more would break me.
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