Up until this week I was absolutley certain I was done having babies and I was happy with my family. Before having kids i only wanted 1 child, however when ds was only 3 months I accidently fell pregnant again and ended up with a beautiful dd as well. So I have one ds and one dd so there is no desire to keep going for a particular gender, this time I truly don't care.
I also had severe PND and anxiety after my second child and suffered terribly and always thought there was no way I would risk going through that again......
But then lately I've been thinking I'd love maybe just one more...
im 34 yrs this year so I know if its something I'm going to do I should do it soon...
Thoughts? How did you know you were done? Did/do you still get clucky even though you have finished having your family? Is 3 children difficult because its an odd number and what about the middle child... Do they really suffer because they are neither the eldest nor the youngest?
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08-06-2013 21:19 #1
How do you know if your family is complete?
08-06-2013 21:56 #2
I have absolutely no advice.
2 DD's 8yrs & 5mths, when I was pregnant with DD2 (IVF bub) I was certain that she was it and I wouldn't be having any more bubs. However, now all I want is more & that is pretty much impossible for me.
What I do know though is everyone I know who were slightly undecided and didn't go back for more, now regret it. I don't know anyone who regrets having more babies.
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08-06-2013 22:23 #3
Previously I always wanted 3 kids, currently we have 2 DDs. But in the last few weeks I have become excited with the thought of just having them. I'm enjoying part time work, I'm commencing part time uni studies soon and we are soon to build our new family home. And I became excited thinking that dd2 will be in full time schooling in 2 and half years. I'm turning 39 next year and feel so much more older than I did when I have birth to dd2 2 and a half years ago. I really don't feel like I can go through the whole ttc, pregnancy and 4 years of daycare. Plus I'm totally ok with having just 2 kids since they test my patience enough. DH would love a boy, and so would I, but I'm not prepared to have another kid just "hoping it'll be a boy". Murphy's Law says I'll have another girl, haha!
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08-06-2013 23:15 #4
I dont know if I will ever feel done... because I feel something is missing because I wont ever have a DD... but I know DS#3 will be our last when he is born (any day now lol) cos I honestly mentally and physically cannot cope with another pregnancy.
I do however love the saying that you dont regret the kids you have, only the ones you dont have
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08-06-2013 23:24 #5
This has been on my mind too. This bub is an unexpected but happy accident, I thought I was done with my first (now 15). Now I'm wondering if I can bounce back ok from this pregnancy (I have to have c-sections unfortunately) and I'm healthy enough in a year or two I think I'd like to give this bub a sibling closer to his age than my DD. I think my partner could be convinced but we both had a lot of anxiety about ageing eggs and chromosomes so it might be a harrowing experience. I'd like to think i'd be satisfied regardless of whatever happens though.
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09-06-2013 09:35 #6
When I was pregnant with my 4th who's now 15months I knew I was completely done, no more being pregnant woohoo. Now that she's here I long to be pregnant again. I've spoken to plenty of people about wanting more and have mixed reactions some say they just knew they were done and happy with their decision others say they want more and always think about it. I don't want to be the one to always think about it and have decided we will have another one (either tubal reversal or IVF as I had tubes tied after DD4).
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09-06-2013 10:16 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
I have 3- 2 DD's and a DS. I wasn't done at 2, and had to convince DH to go a third. Once DS was born I felt done. He's 18 months now and the thought of #4 occasionally enters my mind, and I'm sure if I wasn't so close to 40, I'd definitely consider another.
But, I'm content with 3. I'm looking forward to being able to buy a car that isn't based solely on whether it can fit 3 car seats in it, and now the kids are getting older, they are getting easier. I take comfort in the thought that the baby "daze" is behind us, and am getting time for myself again and thinking about my career. I'm happy to be moving forward.
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09-06-2013 11:05 #8
We have 3 DDs and we will have 1 more bub in a couple of years. I don't 'feel' done at all. I know I would truly regret it if we didn't have a 4th.
DD3 has been so perfect which is probably why I am so eager for a 4th lol.
09-06-2013 12:04 #9
I think when you are done, you know you are done. Just by the fact you say you would like another tells me you aren't.
09-06-2013 12:26 #10
I only ever hoped for 2 children and dh wanted 3. We have 2 boys and are hoping for a third. Initially we hoped to have a girl to complete the family but I don't have that burning desire to have a girl after having 2 boys like I thought I would. I would be happy with another boy if we have a third. If we don't end up with number 3 I would be quite content with our 2 boys. What will be will be.
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