I felt guilty for a day or so. Like mentioned I think mainly because it didn't occur to me that I wouldn't be able to but bubs couldn't latch on and when expressing my milk suddenly dried up and no-on my doctors and LC's could get it back. It was either ff or let my baby starve to death.
I got lots of support from family but it was really the news that got to me. Around that time ff was regarded as poisoning a baby, they end up fat and less of an iq and are always sick and allergies.
About a week of guilt I got over it and my baby is healthy (1 cold in 18months) no signs of any allergies. He is meeting all his milestones and is not fat - quite lean actually.
I definitely have no guilt now - my new baby will be full time expressing and when my milk dries up I will ff. I found my baby slept soundly and my DH was able to have a better bond as he was able to feed our son. It was the right choice for us.
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06-06-2013 13:57 #21
06-06-2013 13:58 #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Sometimes if you have the mind set of "there is no other option" (for ME, not anyone else) then you have more determination to keep feeding.
06-06-2013 14:06 #23
I don't think I felt "guilt" as such - I don't think I did anything wrong, so no reason to feel guilty. But I certainly felt disappointment, grief, trauma, resentment, a sense of unfairness, failure...
06-06-2013 14:12 #24
I can promise you that there was no other option for ME either, and I was determined as all hell to do it... Except BF wasn't an actual option in the end so I had no choice. It stings more than you can imagine to hear all of that trauma, effort and sacrifice i went through minimized because you succeeded and I didn't. It's not guilt - I didn't do anything wrong. But it still freaking hurts SIX years on...
06-06-2013 14:15 #25
06-06-2013 14:17 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
I do not feel any guilt whatsoever about FF. I loved every minute of FFing and hated the few minutes of Bfing that I half heartedly tried.
06-06-2013 14:23 #27
Guilt? no. As I have said before in this topic, guilt implies wrong doing. Especially with my son I tried hard, used the little resources and services around me I could. I was guilty of nothing imo. Sadness - yes. But lately this has been lifted a lot. Formula is a perfectly good alternative. All the subtle self righteous comments that people have listed that upset them, annoy me more than anything now. The most frustrating and disingenuous one though is the 'you appear to feel guilty' comment that I see regularly on here. It's so value laden and sanctimonious.
06-06-2013 14:41 #28
No-one can compare their feeding journeys with those of anyone elses, as they are as different as we ourselves are, and as all of our children are.
Comparisons seem to just create toxic feelings.
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06-06-2013 14:51 #29
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06-06-2013 14:54 #30
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