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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
    I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
    Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

    People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.
    Whaaaaaaaattttttt? Bull$hit you deserve criticism, regret and guilt!. You had an illness. If you couldn't breastfeed because you had an operation or cancer or something like that, people wouldn't say you should feel bad!

    My mum formula fed and she was a $hit mum. Not because she formula fed though!

    Life is like a hamburger. Whether a person turns out to be a bid Mac or just a cheeseburger depends on many things. If you don't have the sauce on the bottom then you can more than make up for it by adding bacon, cheese, beetroot, gherkins or whatever you want later on. You create the burger over a period of time, not at the beginning.

    I can tell by what you type that you love your bubba and will do everything to ensure bubba turns out to be a Big Mac.

    Hang in there, be proud of what you've done thus far and enjoy your little munchkin xxx

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  3. #152
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    lol I love your analogy Vic and agree. bfing is only a tiny portion of their lives and a tiny piece of the puzzle in determining health, IQ etc.

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  5. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Whaaaaaaaattttttt? Bull$hit you deserve criticism, regret and guilt!. You had an illness. If you couldn't breastfeed because you had an operation or cancer or something like that, people wouldn't say you should feel bad!

    My mum formula fed and she was a $hit mum. Not because she formula fed though!

    Life is like a hamburger. Whether a person turns out to be a bid Mac or just a cheeseburger depends on many things. If you don't have the sauce on the bottom then you can more than make up for it by adding bacon, cheese, beetroot, gherkins or whatever you want later on. You create the burger over a period of time, not at the beginning.

    I can tell by what you type that you love your bubba and will do everything to ensure bubba turns out to be a Big Mac.

    Hang in there, be proud of what you've done thus far and enjoy your little munchkin xxx
    Haha you just put the biggest smile on my face. Thank you for your replies everyone. One day I will move past my guilt bit of the mean time comments like these certainly make it alot easier to deal with. I told DF what you said about the burger analogy and he said it was very smart and I should write it down in my journal (if you don't mind) so I can reread it. Then he rang on the way to work upset that bi macs aren't on the break fast menu Heehee lol. Thank you

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  7. #154
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    I agree VP - great analogy!

  8. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    Haha you just put the biggest smile on my face. Thank you for your replies everyone. One day I will move past my guilt bit of the mean time comments like these certainly make it alot easier to deal with. I told DF what you said about the burger analogy and he said it was very smart and I should write it down in my journal (if you don't mind) so I can reread it. Then he rang on the way to work upset that bi macs aren't on the break fast menu Heehee lol. Thank you
    just make sure if you publish the analogy to give old VicPark some credit

  9. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    just make sure if you publish the analogy to give old VicPark some credit
    Sure will but I probably won't. Just keep it in my journal (I'll give you credit for there) so I can reread it. It's a great way to think about things!

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  11. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    People have no idea how damaging comments can be about the "evils" of FF and how lasting that damage can be. Even a judgements look. Or an "oh, you're FF?".
    It was harmful to me. My DD now 6yrs old was FF. She was premie, had weak suck and a high palate. When speaking to yet another LC at one of those baby conventions when dd was 6months old she said coupled with weak suck and high palate she was never ever going to be able to BF. So my decision to move to bottle feed after 3 days after the birth when i had suspected something was wrong with the lack of supply and baby loosing soooo much weight was well founded! And after moving to bottle she started gaining weight 300g every two days. It was still hard to bottle feed she had very weak suck. We ended up with special teats.

    The very pro BF brigade say supply issues are a fallicy and pumping is not an indication of supply. I call BS on that. I got 50mls in an hour. The lady next to me got 100mls in 5mins and was attaching another bottle! Who had a great supply? And who had ****ty supply? It went backwards no forward as well.

    I felt guilt for ages. But i also know FF was the best thing i ever done for my daughter. It was THE right choice!

    I say this now everyones choice to bottle feed is different. Don’t anyone ever make you feel like you have to explain yourself. I got used to saying i am feeding my baby it doesn’t matter how.

    Mysticfalls
    Last edited by MysticFalls; 13-01-2018 at 10:54.

  12. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterscotch View Post
    I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
    I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
    Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

    People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.
    Hun give yourself a break! Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs.

    You cannot put yourself under that pressure. Please don’t feel like you have failed your child. You DIDNT. You sound like a caring mum.

    I had a taumatic birth my supply was an issue i tried BF for 3 days. I literally starved my baby. The midwives said she woke screaming 5mins later and the apologised for giving her a bottle. She drank in record time never to be repeated 5mins. It was then i said formula it is. Yes i had guilt issues. But guess what 6yrs on she is happy healthy and doing well.

    I put my story up to hope to let you know FF isnt the end of the world hun. Take it easier on yourself. Babies do turn out ok in the end.
    My Dd was speaking sentences at 14 months and could follow 4 step comands such as go get your bag in your room come back to the door put it down and wait for mum. She was FF no problems with her.

    My mum formula fed me and i have been found to have a high IQ on multiple tests cause I dismissed the first few.

    FF has no baring on IQ compared to BF.

    Please listen to the previous posters too! You ned a big hug your doing great mumma!

  13. #159
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    Default Not feeling guilt over choosing to FF?

    Please don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for formula feeding. There is nothing wrong with it!
    Last edited by granny1; 13-01-2018 at 12:30.

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  15. #160
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    Old thread

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