Not feeling guilt over choosing to FF?

[babyla]

I was made to feel like I didn't try hard enough. Was sent home and due to my massive blood loss during birth my milk was delayed at coming through. The hospital didn't tell me this would be the case and I spent our first night at home with a starving baby, screaming for something, anything.

The next morning the nurse came for a home visit and squeezed, prodded etc at my bleeding nipples. She then read about my blood loss and apologised, but told me to keep going milk would come in by 3 or 4 days?! OK, but what do I feed my darling until then? I kept trying to pump something out, but borrowed a tin of formula from my niece in the meantime.

In the end my milk never came more than 10-20mls and I had mastitis, needless to say, formula saved my life!

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So similar, I had a pph and no-one told me in hospital, that this could impact my bodies ability to produce milk along with an emergency csection. Still, to this day I feel a but deceived.

[peanutmonkey]

So similar, I had a pph and no-one told me in hospital, that this could impact my bodies ability to produce milk along with an emergency csection. Still, to this day I feel a but deceived.

Um, ive had 3 babies, 2 PPH and I did not know that could impact it?? Learn something new every day! DS2's labour birth was extremely traumatic as was DS3's.

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[babyla]

Um, ive had 3 babies, 2 PPH and I did not know that could impact it?? Learn something new every day! DS2's labour birth was extremely traumatic as was DS3's.

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It's staggering to me that I wasn't told this. I recently went to an ob who confirmed it for me and that failed induction and emergency csection can also play a part.

[amyd]

I was warned when I had my c section that my milk would take longer to come in than normal.

On the topic of ff guilt I think hospitals aren't helping mothers feel better about choosing to ff. My mil is a midwife at a 'breast feeding friendly' hospital. Their policies are so strict they cannot suggest formula to a mother that just needs a break from having her nipples chewed off. They can give it to the mother if she requests but I know that having to do that made me feel like I was a terrible mum.

[Purple Lily]

There are a few good websites with Facebook pages FF mums can check out for support and advice:

- Fearless Formula Feeder (bigger US site with good blog posts)

- Bottle Babies (Aussie online FF community).

I find them helpful and supportive.

Thank you for sharing this, I have been looking for a page like this

[Funnels]

You know what? This whole subject terrifies me. I'm due in May with #3, and a large part of me wants to just FF from the start, simply so I can avoid the guilt, and avoid the "failing at BFing tag". Perhaps it would be nice not to fail, just not to try at all! I hate that every second person thinks that it is their business to ask you, offer you advice. I hate sitting next to someone who is calmly feeding their well-behaved fully BF baby with my screaming wreck of a child who will not latch, will not feed. I hate that people look at me when I am trying to do something that feels so goddamned difficult to me. I hate the questions. I hate when people sit there and tell me how much they LOVED BF their child while I am clearly struggling.

Eek. Am I really doing this again? Farrrrrrrrrk.

Omg I could've written this Word for word. I feel totally ripped off that my bf dreams didn't come true.

[Blackdomino1]

In my experience not many people choose to ff right off the bat. First baby I intended to bf and managed to for 12 months. Second baby, fed ok at first. Kept losing weight. Had to supplement a bit. Then at 6 weeks he simply refused the breast and never went back. I expressed until he was 3 month s and was getting very little milk by then. He is happy and healthy and I was spending 2 hours a day to get 35ml or less.
You can only do what you can do. Each baby is different.

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[Butterscotch]

I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.

[peanutmonkey]

I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.

Oh gosh that is rough but I just wantwd to say you do NOT deserve the guilt and criticism. Please try not to be so hard on yourself.

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[lemonpancakes]

I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.

It makes me so mad that good mothers like yourself are led to feel so guilty about not breast feeding.

Breast feeding is NOT much better than formula! Please don't believe the hype about IQ points and better health. In our country, with our clean water and sterilization formula is an excellent source of nutrition. The mainstream media over-exaggerates the benefits of BF.

Some reading that might help:

http://www.skepticalob.com/2013/08/d...ng-matter.html

http://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar...eeding/307311/

http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/

You're doing a fantastic job being a mum. Try not to look back at things you can't change. Move forward and be the strong, loving mum you know you can be. Your baby doesn't care what milk she's drinking - she just wants her mama.

You can't look around a classroom of kids and pick which ones were BF'd or FF'd. It simply doesn't matter!