I am at a loss to understand why I see the word 'guilt' so much when mums are referring to themselves either having to or choosing to FF their bubs.
'Guilt?' Really? I attempted to BF my first DD. Massive failure. Anyhow I ended up on formula and voila! Happy mummy, happy baby. Did I feel guilt? No. I did not. What is to feel guilty about? My bub was healthy, well fed and happy.
With my DS and DD2, straight onto formula they went, from the first feed. And I didn't feel guilty about that either! I now have 3 well adjusted, healthy, normal kids.
Maybe someone could explain the 'guilt' factor to me regarding FFing, because I honestly have never experienced it. Is it more to do with society's view of FFing than personal choice? I'd love to hear your experiences on this
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06-06-2013 11:51 #1
Not feeling guilt over choosing to FF?
06-06-2013 11:52 #2
It's because of judgement from BF zealots (minority luckily!) as well as health professionals, CHN's etc.
I have been fortunate in that I have never really experienced it on here. Only on BH.
And I don't feel guilty at all!
06-06-2013 11:55 #3
Thanks for replying KW. I also have never experienced judgement from the public (the odd midwife at the hospy but that is to be expected)!
I just think mums place so much unnecessary pressure on themselves to fit in with the 'Joneses' IYKWIM?
06-06-2013 12:04 #4
Well lucky you didn't, but other people might have. I sure as hell did.
My DD1 would not latch on. I desperately wanted to breastfeed her, but she had other ideas. She's just turned 5 and I've really only come to peace with it in the last 5 or so months.
06-06-2013 12:07 #5
People have no idea how damaging comments can be about the "evils" of FF and how lasting that damage can be. Even a judgements look. Or an "oh, you're FF?".
06-06-2013 12:08 #6
I don't feel guilty either, it worked for us when bf didn't (my DD had a pretty hard birth, she had erbs palsy in one arm and the other was broken. Getting her into position for feeding was awkward for both of us, and painful for her ).
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06-06-2013 12:13 #7
I don't feel guilt at all! I love how well formula feeding works for me and my family! DS is happy, healthy & well fed
What infuriates me is the BF crusaders who imply that I should feel guilty!
06-06-2013 12:16 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I copped a lot when I started FF my DD (was st BF, just couldn't keep up with her!). Mainly from older women to be honest.
I started off not feeling guilty (DD was sooo much more relaxed as soon as she started FF), but one by one the comments wore me down I told myself this time around if I have to FF I won't feel guilty, hoping I don't, but you never know.
06-06-2013 12:16 #9
I felt and still do at times feel massive guilt for FF my children. It has nothing to do with judgments of others, more to do with the fact that my children weren't given the best start in life because I was uneducated. My son was BF for 10 days before I went on medication that was not BF safe, DD only got a few days. My son has severe asthma, eczema and allergies, all of which can be avoided with BF. Now I can't say for sure if he would have got them regardless but every time I have to take my DS to the hospital when he is struggling to get his breath, has bloodshot eyes from coughing and through it all he tries to be a 'brave boy', yep then I can guarantee the thoughts cross my mind that this could be my fault... Rather than get defensive when I hear about the benefits of BF I prefer to put my energy into helping inform other mums of the benefits, so that they can make truly informed decisions, and maybe I can help someone avoid the guilt I have to live with...
06-06-2013 12:18 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
I felt guilt because there was never a question in my mind that I wouldn't breastfeed. I was totally unprepared for it. Then I read all these comments on here saying things like "not breastfeeding wasn't a option for me, there is nothing that would stop me doing it" etc and it just compounded my guilt. I also have had people tell me I'm disgusting for buying formula. And I've had someone come up when I was giving my bubs EBM and have a massive go at me about the dangers of ffing
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