We would've been the same - planning on holding off until after 12 weeks to announce.....massive hugs xx
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26-06-2013 15:29 #31
26-06-2013 15:42 #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I was the same, its very hard. Im going to be a mess when it is around the time our due date would have been. Im just hoping im pregnant again by then so I can focus on that. PM me if u need to talk
02-07-2013 14:55 #33
I'm sorry to hear everyone's losses.
I too know how it feels like. My heart is broken at the moment. We lost our precious ivf baby at 17 weeks on Sunday morning. No warning, my waters just broke and before I knew it I was in labour. I feel so helpless at the moment not knowing what went wrong. I keep replaying the night over and over in my head and wonder if I could have done something to stop this from happening. Everything was going so well and I just finally started to relax a little knowing I was almost halfway through the pregnancy, when this happens. It's not fair.
We lost another at 10 weeks at the exact same time last year but had a d&c. This time we were able to hold our baby boy after he was born and named him Gabriel. He is our angel now. It is so heartbreaking I don't know how I can feel better when everything reminds me of him. I feel so clingy to DH at the moment I feel bad that I am relying on him when he is going through this as well but feel better knowing that it's normal to do this.
I know in time the pain will lessen and we will get there in the end.
Big hugs to everyone xx
02-07-2013 17:35 #34
Oh Riss78 I am so so sorry to hear of your loss That's awful!
Sending you lots of hugs. Here if you need to talk xox
03-07-2013 08:10 #35
Thank you LJMsMum x
03-07-2013 15:42 #36
Riss78 I totally feel your pain and am truly truly sorry for what you are going through.
Did the hospital assign you a counsellor? Mine did and it really helped.
It is just devastating that we want our IVF babies so much and we fight so hard to get them, to then have them taken away in an instant.
Nothing you do at the moment is "wrong". Just be as gentle with yourself as you can.
Thinking of you xx
04-07-2013 10:19 #37
Thank you bedlover. I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs. It's so not fair. The grief is consuming me and everything reminds me of what I have lost. I want to see a counsellor. My OB recommended Sands and I will contact them today. I think talking to someone will help.
I didn't think we would have to be on the ivf roller coaster for a while but now it's back to square one again. it has taken us so long to get a bfp we even changed clinics and FS and she is a miracle worker so I hope it won't take too long to fall pregnant again. I loved being pregnant and seeing my body change. I feel so empty now.
Have you gotten some answers to why it happened? The waiting to get the results is hard.
Thank you for reaching out to me. Speaking to others in the same boat makes this less lonely. If only we didn't have to go through this in the first place.
05-07-2013 09:17 #38
Oh Riss. I loved being pregnant too - feeling my tummy get bigger and having to start wearing different clothes! I would always fall asleep with my hands on my tummy - it is now a habit and I still do it but to a small tummy rather than a big one.
We are now just over 2 months since losing our baby and I just rang the clinic yesterday as we are starting a FET this month. This is our last frozen emby so will have to do a stim cycle again if this doesn't work.
I keep telling myself it won't work to try and manage my expectations, but I really hope it does work. My counsellor will play a big role through this cycle as I am worried how I will respond to a BFN
Unfortunately our loss was a result of a random illness I got, which in turn caused issues with my amniotic fluid which caused my membranes to rupture. Our baby was perfect, which I am still not sure if that is harder or easier to understand / process. Either way the outcome is the same disappointing and devastating result.
So much of what you are saying resonates with me. You will never "get over it" or forget, but it slowly does become less raw.
09-07-2013 15:20 #39
I know what you mean about pregnancy habits that are hard to let go of. I still subconsciously watch what I am eating and the tummy holding/ touching still happens which makes me sad.
That's horrible that an illness could cause this to happen to you. Not fair. I really want to get some answers soon so we can start to heal but don't know if it will help or not. I had bleeding in the first trimester which they couldn't find where it was coming from and put it down to blood thinners i was on. Baby was always fine but now I wonder if that was indicating something.
I wish you nothing but the best with this next cycle. I know you are trying to protect yourself from disappointment ( I am sure I will do the same) but still have hope. As much as I want to just jump right into it again we know we have to wait. My ovaries would still be quite large from the stim cycle.
At the moment I am just taking it easy. DH and I are going away for a couple of nights just to get away. We have had so many people over and my parents stayed with us for a week that we need some time alone now to take it all in. I'm just worried how I will deal when my hubby goes back to work and I'm on my own with my thoughts.
17-07-2013 16:37 #40
Hi Riss - how are you holding up?
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