Hi AandS! We had our appointment yesterday and discussed a lot. It seems that using the clinic seems to be the way to go. The amount of time spent on making sure that the timing is spot on and that you will have the best shot outweighs home insemination for us. We thought it would be nice to so but the cost of unknown donor sperm is high and the chance of a positive result in a few attempts is slim so it is extremely likely we would end up spending more trying that way and it would also take more an emotional toll.
There is no guarantee that IVF will work in the first few goes but if that is the case then it basically means we would have had an even harder time the more "natural" way.
I know there are exceptions to this and for some it may work quickly but we just can't afford to risk it and spend too much of a budget trying that way only to find that we then need to resort to IVF anyway.
Hope this helps! Let me know how you go!
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02-06-2013 14:33 #11
02-06-2013 15:01 #12Senior Member
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- Jun 2012
I just wanted to mention my donor did not cost me a thing other than hiring a hotel, so I don't know why someone would think IVF would be cheaper. The only benefit for using a clinic is the legalities of having 2 same sex parents on the birth certificate, as I was single it was not a consideration for me. I did all he same screening that a clinic would do. Also saying that natural would be longer than a clinic is not at all true. I went through 3 clinic IUI's two medicated on not. I got pregnant once, and that was the unmediated cycle and I miscarried at 6 weeks. I then went on the do 3 rounds of IVF, 2 cycles nothing the third i became pregnant and discovered a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks, had a d&c. That was enough I decided I cold not go through a clinic anymore, my clinic whilst being the best in Victoria for pregnancy rates they were negligent in terms of my emotional health. So I then looked into my private donor, I am lucky and my cycles were 28 days which made timing easy, I had a chemical pregnancy first cycle, and am 22 weeks pregnant from my second cycle. An anonymous donor can be an uncomplicated process if you find the right donor. I don't want a clinic to talk you into anything because honestly IVF can fail on a fertile person, which it did with me. My body did not react well to IVF I gained a lot of weight. Anyway you all need to decide for yourself but the $400 bucks I spent to get pregnant with my sticky baby was a much more pleasant experience the than the $38,000 I spent on failed IVF
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Moose Caboose (02-06-2013)
02-06-2013 15:52 #13
Like I mentioned towards the end of my previous post there are exceptions to it. Obviously everyone is different so for that reason everyone's preference would be different
We had a look at the website that you suggested but as they advertise as a co-parenting site we feel there would be too much risk of having the donor trying to make themselves a part of the babies life. It's our concern but we understand its not everyone else's so for some people that would be a great option. We also wouldn't feel comfortable meeting someone at a hotel to do the process. Also, there are others who would warn that the biggest hurdle with a "free" donor is having them drop everything to be available when you are ovulating so they can do their part. I know many women who have had great donors until they have gone through 5 or 6 months of trying and then suddenly the donor doesn't have time and can no longer help. Not everyone is lucky enough to find someone who agrees to do it all for free, does not want anything in return and will be at your complete disposal after a phone call to say its time.
To have an anonymous donor who has legally signed all rights away through the clinic it would still be approx $1000 per straw. We then need to become pros at timing ovulation and making sure that we are doing it right. Whilst we might get lucky we might not actually know what we are doing and just be wasting money.
IVF is definitely not the answer for everyone but we feel its the right choice for us
Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!
02-06-2013 15:57 #14
Oh also thought I'd mention in NSW both mothers can be listed on the birth certificate regardless of how and where they were conceived so that's not something we have factored into it.
Wish it was the same for people in other states!
Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!
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