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29-05-2013 10:58 #21
29-05-2013 11:13 #22
My cousin specifically said no under 18s, which meant I could go but not my brother.
She was fine with him (and other kids) attending the ceremony as it was outdoors but not the reception.
She doesn't have kids but still got recommendations off people for baby sitters for those with kids. Her uncle on her dads side still bought his 7 and 9 year old though.
Can't get through to some people.
29-05-2013 11:17 #23
I would just give everyone with younger kids a call and make it clear that the kids are not invited. Some people seem to think that because they are invited their children are, I don't get it.
29-05-2013 11:24 #24
I don't see a problem with it. A close friend of mine got married 2 hours away but no kids invited. I was bf'ing a 4 month old but had no one we could leave her with so DH stayed at home with expressed bottles and I had a ball.
If people really want to attend they'll find a way.
My sister in law was sooo organised and didn't want to put anyone out actually organised carers (the wedding creche or something like that) who had all the under 12s in a function room (like a childcare centre) at the hotel. Then we put kids to bed in hotel and paid for the same company to babysit/sit outside the rooms. Genius I thought.
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29-05-2013 11:39 #25
I've never been to a no kids wedding but my parents have. I was a little miffed at being left out at 16 but got over it because it wasn't about me.
If you don't want kids then say that and be clear on the invite.
Sent from my telecommunications device.
29-05-2013 12:11 #26
We are invited to a wedding in 2 months that children aren't invited to. The invite said something along the lines of 'so that our guests are able to relax and enjoy a night of uninhibited fun, we regret that children are not invited'
You could write something like that but put 'children under the age of 16 are not invited'
29-05-2013 12:26 #27
My brother and SIL had a no kids rule which was fine as it's their day and we were happy to organise babysitters months in advance and let them know that we would just have a 6week old with us. Then we got a text less than two weeks out from the wedding tell us that no babies allowed as they will cry loudly and ruin the video they were getting done which they were paying a lot of money for.
So...we thought about it before replying, then politely said that unfortunately we would not be able to attend (we also had to travel to get there). This of course caused unrest and so we went out of our way to go up and DH stayed with bubs while I attended the ceremony as bub wasn't allowed to put foot on the sand - ceremony took place on a windy beach (so the speakers were all crackly), beach goers everywhere, noise, boats, etc.
We then turned around and drove home, only to have to drive back again with our children the next day to please close family who had also driven a long way and were put out because they didn't get to see our kids.
And after all this, my brother and SIL were so ungrateful and didn't talk to us for a year. Their spin on it was that I should have been grateful to have been allowed to attend the ceremong still - what the? Meanwhile, we said nothing of it negatively to our family. I have no idea what others said to them though - I'd say this is probably what caused the problems.
So...after all that - I would recommend if you want both spouses there, then babes in arms be allowed, or do not get offended if they decline if you allow no babies. (If they are fed and cared for, I doubt they will interrupt, and even if they start getting grisly, if they have caring parents, then I'm sure they will go and pop them down for a rest, etc. when needed.
I think it's quite acceptable to have no kids at a wedding. Just as pp said - make out the invites specifically and also pop a note into the envelope or phone people to make sure they have made arrangements. I remember being 14 and not going to a cousin's wedding and an aunts wedding as I was considered a child - and it was fine. As long as there is consistency no one will be put out. Hope you have a lovely day and the whole kid thing goes smoothly for you.
29-05-2013 12:34 #28
We had a child-free wedding - no exceptions. Even though our bridal party were our 5-7yo nieces & nephews, they still had to find somewhere else to go after the ceremony, they weren't invited to the reception.
We simply put the names of the adults who were invited on the invitation, and that seemed to be clear enough for everyone - not a single person asked if they could bring their kids.
I think it also depends on the location of the wedding - I have a friend who is getting married up in Broome next year, and when she told me that they'd set a date, we had a discussion about whether they would be allowing kids at the wedding, because if we were going to have to travel so far to go and either had to arrange care or leave our little baby at home, we probably wouldn't be able to go. Luckily, she has recognised that having a destination wedding means that a lot of her friends would be in the same boat, so they're allowing kids.
And we get a holiday to Broome!
29-05-2013 12:41 #29
Make it very clear, but also understand that some people may not be able to attend if their normal babysitter is also invited. I went to my auntys wedding which she strictly stated no kids as she had fertility issues and unable to have children. Organized a baby sitter so that DH and I could attend. My SIL took her kids and told my aunty that her DH wouldn't be able to Dj the wedding if the kids weren't allowed to come too (so guilted her into it). DH and I had a blast!! I hope that everyone respects your wishes, and has the decency to organise babysitters or decline the invite.
29-05-2013 12:43 #30
I definitely understand where you're coming from buy I would never expect a mum to leave a baby at home. Older kids sure, but not a baby. my DD is 5 months and refuses to take a bottle so I won't leave her anywhere now. And a baby is hardly going to cause any dramas.
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