Hi guys So I'm a newly single mum. I have a 2.5 year old daughter and I'm currently 8 months pregnant. I was with my fiancé for 4 years before I finally called quits on it. The relationship quite very nasty and messy. We moved here from NZ in September last year and since then things have just gone down hill ... and fast! He was always a very immature person who had (and still does) a lot of growing up to do. He was always putting himself first and constantly making me feel guilty for being a SAHM. My dad moved to Australia with us and couldn't stand being in the room with us when the ex started moaning and carrying on. On numerous occasions my Dad wanted to not only butt in and tell him to quit it but to tell him to pull his head in and stop treating the mother of his children like a piece of sh*t. The ex was constantly putting me down, calling me fat, lazy, physcho, bad mother etc (that's to put it in nice words - trying to keep it PG ). at this point I was pregnant with our second so not only was the emotional abuse putting me in a very depressed state but the hormones, morning sickness, tiredness etc was sinking me deeper and deeper into a rutt. I got into the mind set that I just had to put up with the bullsh*t, that he was just stressed, things will get better when the baby get's here. When my Mum and sister moved over 3 months ago they noticed straight away how depressed I was. As they were living with us it didn't take long for them to see how he was treating me. The abuse didn't stop and one night he was attacking my parenting when I finally broke down. I ran out of the house with my mum following. I let it all out to her, telling her I couldn't do it any more and I was literally at the point of wanting to either throw a knife at his head or at mine. That night changed everything, I finally told the ex that was it and with the support of my mum and sister I kicked his sorry *** to the curb. It was a very messy break up with a lot of arguments. He was not understanding of the boundaries and broke back into the house at 5am one day - I woke to him standing in the bedroom. Anyway fast forward to today and things are more settled. He has his own place and our daughter stays with him once a week. He pays a generous amount for child support. He has proved that he is a good father and always will be for both of his children. The harassing hasn't stopped though. He constantly txt's me! I think he has finally realised what he has thrown away - but it doesn't mean jack poo's to me now. I am so much happier without him in my life every day. I used to dread the 4pm mark every day as I hated the fact he would soon be home from work and would start the emotional abuse all over again for the night. Now I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I do worry sometimes about the financial burden of being a single parent to 2 kids but it is nothing to the stress I was under being with the ex. I have great support from my parents and sister which I would be lost without. Unfortunately the few friends I thought I had have completely stopped contact with me (sided with him) they knew nothing of which was going on behind closed doors and all think I am just being "hormonal" and I'll soon go back to him. I won't! EVER! He is nothing but the father to my children now. Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks Bubhubers for letting me vent
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24-05-2013 20:26 #1
Need to get it off my chest..
The Following User Says Thank You to mummabear13 For This Useful Post:
24-05-2013 21:10 #2
Good on you for standing up for yourself and showing him his behavior is not on.
It's great you have the love and support of your family.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Not long now!
I'm sure you'll find lots of support on here.
Welcome to bubhub
The Following User Says Thank You to dancingchipmunk For This Useful Post:
28-05-2013 18:54 #3
Wow! Good on you for leaving the a**hole!! You sound very positive and in a good place!
28-05-2013 19:00 #4
Good on you. You sound like you are in a good place now that he is out of your life. You should be proud of yourself.
28-05-2013 19:24 #5
Thanks heaps for the support guys. I certainly have those certain days where I would love to go back to bed and not deal with the day but I have the most amazing little girl who lights up my world. Keep on trucking as my Dad would say!
Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
29-05-2013 22:15 #6Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
Hey I am 28yo, have two kids 9 and 4 from a previous relationship and currently 35 weeks pregnant with baby 3 from a new relationship. I was with the new baby's dad for 9 months. 3 weeks ago he decided to call it quits, he is 22.
I am really sad and angry about all this, our relationship wasn't violent or abusive and we were crazy in love, hence the pregnancy 2 months in. He is crazy about becoming a dad. I put my life and career on hold for this, moved away from my other kids dad and changed their lives to start a new life. Now I find living in his house, on maternity leave at 1/2 pay. He has moved back in with his parents for the time being. He reckons is over for good, said he couldn't put up with my me being angry with him or not talking to him and he doesn't want to deal with my kids either.
At the beging, until recently, we were living an hour away from eachother, I was having problems with my other ex, work sucked as my duties changed during my pregnancy and I missed him like crazy... All this resulted in depression. Finally, FINALLY we got where we wanted, together under the same roof, and this is the end result. I don't know what to do. I believe there is so much going for us, he is dead set on it being over. He wants to be good friends and move back in when the baby is born.... Should I give up and let it go, or will his feelings change once the baby is born...
The Following User Says Thank You to bunny084 For This Useful Post:
29-05-2013 22:25 #7
well done for getting out of such a toxic environment and showing your DD that that sort of behaviour/abuse is not acceptable.
biggest of hugs and all the best for the future things will always get easier
24-06-2013 22:18 #8Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Hi bunny 84. How are things going? I was in almost the same situation as you & it has worked out. I'm glad I did not give up on love. It sounds like there is still something there. Don't give up. What about your other ex causing you problems. I had the same. He wanted to be with me even though he had a girlfriend which he tried to hide that detail from me. He is like a lap dog always saying he'll wait for me, but I know I don't love him. Was this the same as your ex? Would appreciate any advice as our life seems so similar. Have you had your baby yet? Essy
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