Hi whoever happens to read this. I need advice. I have a 1.5 year old And 4 month old twins. One of the twins cries. A lot. I don't know what to do, it's depressing me so much that I find myself crying all the time. I don't have any support and my husband can't take time off work otherwise he doesn't get paid and we need the money.
It's almost like DS has no patience. He needs a change he cries, he needs a feed he cries, he needs sleep he cries, he wants to be held he cries, he doesn't want to be held he cries. I go through everything and sometimes none of it helps. Sometimes I have to let him cry without any attention to give the other 2 attention as well. And get things done around the house because DH doesn't so them. I just don't know what to do any more. I find myself crying a lot as well because I don't know what to do and the crying goes on. Now don't get me wrong he is happy as well he has a beautiful smile and he smiles a lot as well but the crying seems so much more. My husband asked me if I was ok one time he seen me crying and I told him I don't know what to do. He went on about other things, like paying bills and stress things that had nothing to do with it. He doesn't understand, he's not here all day, and he can pick him up while I tend to the others. So he doesn't understand what it's like. I love all my babies but I just don't know what to do about to crying. It's frustrating and painful, sad and annoying. On top of it I am tired as well. I just don't seem to be abler I make this DS as happy as my other 2 and I just feel like crying all the time.
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23-05-2013 22:50 #1
Baby cries and So do I
23-05-2013 23:29 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Bigs hugs. No real answers for you but you are doing an amazing job.
Is there a support group for mums of multiples you could contact?
Also please see ypur gp, crying all the time is no good & could be early signs of post natal depression.
Lastly more hugs, my DS is 13 weeks & screams all the time too, like yout bub for no real reason. Things will get better x
24-05-2013 00:03 #3
Oh you poor thing, my bub used to cry all the time to, but my other children are older (6&8) so I can only imagine what you are going through. Is it like a witching hour kind of thing? We never ever heard of witching hour until this baby and really I don't know why it is called a hour when it can go on forever. Ours started when we was 2 months and went on until 5 months then it was like a switch was flicked and it just stopped. Hopefully your little one is the same and his stops soon for you, hang in there you have 3 young children which must be tough in itself but things will get better. Maybe you could take some you time? When our bub was going through this I had to leave him with DH sometimes and go for a walk or even relax in a nice long bath just so I could recharge a little and honestly the times I did this bub had less crying episodes maybe because I was calm I don't really know. Also just remember bubhub is always here with so many wonderful people more then willing to listen and help
24-05-2013 00:04 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- CURRENTLY IN BANGKOK
Hugs hugs hugs BigZ! I have 5.5 month old twin boys and I was nodding along as I read your post because I was there 2 months ago... And sometimes still am.
My little boy was a screamer. Omg, he would cry for everything. And wanted immediate response every time - which with twins and other siblings is hard. He would scream crying as soon as he woke up, when he lay down, when he was on his tummy, when he was eing cuddled. Long story short, he has a bad case of reflux and has a cows milk protein allergy. Get your little one checked out, rule it out.
I completely understand everything you said about not getting anything done, being at your wits end. Twins are hard, hard work - and add running a hose hold onto that and other kids - no wonder you are knackered.
Last edited by Squishy115; 24-05-2013 at 00:06.
24-05-2013 00:26 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Big Z I totally understand, you are my alone! I've got 6 month old twin boys and a nearly 3 year old. My boys have not green good sleepers and often scream when I'm trying to get them to sleep. I feel on the border of losing it a lot...
I'm sure you have already tried everything with your boy that cries a lot and like a previous poster said some babies are just like that and there's nothing more you could be doing.
Someone told me your babies won't die of crying and also that even though you feel like when you can't give your older child the attention they deserve they will be forever traumatised by it, they will Jo doubt remember a thing. So try not to be too hard on yourself.
Practical wise, is there any help you can get, a cleaner to help with house work, any government assistance (we have Red Cross volunteers here in Perth), etc?
24-05-2013 01:20 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Call your chn or mchn and ask for home help. Most councils have funding for it they just don't advertise it. Also with 3 under 3 you qualify for ccr and ccb on a nanny/inhome carer. Also please see your GP to rule out a medical cause. I don't have twins but have 3 under 2.5 and the juggling act when you have lots of littlies is so hard
24-05-2013 05:38 #7
Twins are so hard- I was teary a lot in the beginning and I didn't have older children to care for either!
What everyone has said is true- it's just a phase, and as soon as you find a tactic for dealing with it, he will grow out of it anyway.
Hop on the internet and see if you can find a local AMBA group around you- the support you will receive will be great for issues just like this. And they know what it's like with multiples, so if one is crying, they will help you out and pick him up and try to comfort him etc, which I found other people were reluctant to do (even when I was practically thrusting a baby into their arms!)
24-05-2013 19:37 #8
Get help as the others have suggested. My friend had a 2yo, then twins & was struggling with BFing (one didn't feed well and both were tiny at birth). She was able to get inhome care (still has it and the twins are 1) either for free or heavily subsidised through the government (your M&CHN will know how to organise it). Please look into it and get that help in the very least.
But, I think you should also speak to your GP. GP's can be a good resource for other support resources in the community and can be great to talk to.
On a practical note have you got an electric baby swing? It was great to soothe both of my two kiddies when they were grumpy and I gave ours to the friend I mentioned above who had twins and she said it made a big difference. The other thing is an Ergo baby carrier (or similar), have you tried it for your unsettled bub? It could allow you to have a happier (hopefully) bub and yet be able to get stuff done. I can't use a baby carrier myself due to back issues, but I know it's been great for lots of people.
I hope things improve for your soon. My ds had reflux and screamed a lot, but I think from around 4 months of age is when I started to see a big improvement. It really does get easier.
24-05-2013 19:50 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Depending on your opinions on this kind of thing, you could see a paediatric chiropractor? My best friend is one and she is amazing. She has so many stories of these poor babies that have a slight problem with their alignment that causes them discomfort and the only way they can communicate is to cry. One adjustment later (they are very gentle and very careful) these babies go from constant screaming to happy little campers. Its a thought? I hope you find some relief. You're doing an amazing job.
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