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  1. #1
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    Default Distress over embrio demise

    Hello

    I just wondered if anyone else couldn't cope with their embrios at the clinic rather than in them. We want a DET and have only 2 Embies left

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    Hi hun, I'm not too sure what you mean? Do you mean you're distressed about the ones you've already lost, or that you're worried about how you'll feel if you only transfer one of the two that are left, and the other doesn't survive? Or both? Personally I've only ever had one emby not survive in the lab, and it arrested on Day 3. But out of four full stim cycles I've only had six embies in total, so losing that one was just a bit annoying more than anything else, cause we only had two fertilise that cycle. I can't really see myself getting "distressed" by losing embies in the lab; for me, I was much more distressed my first two cycles when I only had one egg fertilise each time and they insisted upon putting them back straight away, because I then had to spend two weeks cultivating false hope over embies that as far as I know didn't even make it to two cells. TBH I'd much rather embies die in the lab, so I KNOW they weren't viable, rather than putting them in me and not knowing. If that makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    Hi hun, I'm not too sure what you mean? Do you mean you're distressed about the ones you've already lost, or that you're worried about how you'll feel if you only transfer one of the two that are left, and the other doesn't survive? Or both? Personally I've only ever had one emby not survive in the lab, and it arrested on Day 3. But out of four full stim cycles I've only had six embies in total, so losing that one was just a bit annoying more than anything else, cause we only had two fertilise that cycle. I can't really see myself getting "distressed" by losing embies in the lab; for me, I was much more distressed my first two cycles when I only had one egg fertilise each time and they insisted upon putting them back straight away, because I then had to spend two weeks cultivating false hope over embies that as far as I know didn't even make it to two cells. TBH I'd much rather embies die in the lab, so I KNOW they weren't viable, rather than putting them in me and not knowing. If that makes sense.
    Thanks for that. I just feel upset that I won't have any to freeze and if one dies that is another stim cycle before we can even do a transfer as we want a double. I was just upset loosing one and feel like I need to grieve for my unborn baby. I think I have depression caused by crinine so that's probably a big part of it

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    Some people really struggle while on Crinone so I understand - I had a really tough time with it on my first IVF cycle. If you are feeling depressed you should talk with someone. Do you have counselling sessions available to you through your clinic? I know mine offers one session free per stim cycle. You may find this helpful with these feelings.


    Em x

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    Quote Originally Posted by T1gger View Post
    Thanks for that. I just feel upset that I won't have any to freeze and if one dies that is another stim cycle before we can even do a transfer as we want a double. I was just upset loosing one and feel like I need to grieve for my unborn baby. I think I have depression caused by crinine so that's probably a big part of it
    Ah okay, thanks for explaining. Are they growing these two out to Day 5? How "old" are they today? You never know, they might both make it. However, if one doesn't, it can be very sad, but like I said, if it doesn't survive in the lab then it probably wouldn't in you either, so in the long run it really is best to know that you're putting back embies that have a good chance, rather than "iffy" ones. And Crinone messes with you bigtime; it could most certainly be the Crinone talking! I had a massive meltdown (by my standards) when I was on it during my last cycle, as I was getting BFNs on my HPTs and just couldn't handle it anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by emski72 View Post
    If you are feeling depressed you should talk with someone. Do you have counselling sessions available to you through your clinic? I know mine offers one session free per stim cycle. You may find this helpful with these feelings.
    I agree, it might be good to talk to someone. xx

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    I went thru 4 cycles of ivf and only ever had one emby frozen from round 3. That emby never made it to my uterus as it failed to thaw. I was incredibly upset when I got the phone call to tell me not to come in as the emby hadn't made it. I found it to be worse than getting a bfn and I did grieve the loss more than the other failed rounds. Round 4 was successful and I now have a 6 month old boy

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by Waggers70 View Post
    I went thru 4 cycles of ivf and only ever had one emby frozen from round 3. That emby never made it to my uterus as it failed to thaw. I was incredibly upset when I got the phone call to tell me not to come in as the emby hadn't made it. I found it to be worse than getting a bfn and I did grieve the loss more than the other failed rounds. Round 4 was successful and I now have a 6 month old boy

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    thanks for that. I today has DET so have 2 Embies onboard. I am going to church tomorrow to light a candle for my deceased embie and one for each off the 2 on board that they both grow into big strong healthy babies

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    Forgot to add that on rounds 3 &4 we had 2 embies put in, and as I mentioned - one baby

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    What I guess I am asking is does everyone grieve over loss of Embie or do people just think its too insignificant to grieve over? I am going to grieve for each one by lighting a candle. I don't need to talk to councillor as I have bubhub and amazing DH who will talk everything through with me better than a stranger could


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    I would definitely speak to a counsellor I am sure they are aware of other people who have felt the same. Personally I do not see a fertilised egg as a baby, so I did not grieve over lost embryos, but I did grieve that it did not work and that I would have to go through it all again. Ivf if a traumatic process both physically and emotionally, I know crinone threw me for a six and I was experiencing so depression on it. I can't speak for others but I did not grieve for the embryos that died, which does not help you at all. Good luck I hope you speak to a professional about this, if you need t do another cycle it will just get worse.


 

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