My DH turned 40 the other day. I guess its a rather significant birthday. I was going to organise a birthday party for him(with all the family) but, due to a relative of mine being ill, was unable to do so. From his mum, he received a Text message and a voucher for a $10 top up on his phone. No card. Later in the evening she rang and then his older brother called. His sister, who, had a birthday two weeks ago(we personally gave her gifts, towel, bed-socks, lipstick and $30 voucher) did not send a SMS or phoned. NO card, nothing. DH's mum told him she had no money. It cost a $1 to buy a card and 60cents to mail it. She lives 10 minutes from our home. She could have dropped by. Do you think she had enough excuses? She had forgotten my birthday as well this year and my birthday falls two days before her sons.
I am sad she didn't acknowledge her younger brothér's 40th.
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20-05-2013 10:46 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Could DH's sister have somehow wished him a happy Birthday?
20-05-2013 10:50 #2
Hopefully he hasn't taken it to heart. That would really be a sucky birthday.
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20-05-2013 10:51 #3
I guess it depends what their relationship is like. I don't get calls I'd gifts off my brothers, sister or mum. So I no longer bother about theirs.
20-05-2013 10:52 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
I guess it means they are not particularly close.
20-05-2013 10:59 #5
Try not to get too hung up on it, especially if your DH isn't too worried. I've really learnt with my inlaws that different families place very different emphasis and values on celebrations.
In my family birthdays are always celebrated with a get together, usually lunch but at the very least morning or afternoon tea. As kids we always had a family party, even if we didnt get a friends party that particular year.
In DHs family I spent the first five years expecting that tradition to be replicated and would get so annoyed and confused when birthdays would come and go with minimal acknowledgement and no celebration organised for nieces and nephews. Then I went through a phase of trying to organise little parties and things for them, and getting p*ed off because it all seemed really unappreciated.
Now I just go with the flow - they think my family are over the top in having to see each other and have a big sit down lunch for a birthday, my family think his are weird for spending $500+ on a kids birthday present but not even bothering to see them and spend time with them on the day.
Each to their own...you do what feels right and comfortable when their birthdays come around, but don't set yourself up to be disappointed by expecting the same in return.
20-05-2013 12:41 #6
My DHs family are the same for his 16th birthday he got a expo 88 coin that had been sitting in MILS junk drawer for years, he had to buy his own gift and card for his 21st she just had to sign it and she forgot his 18th his birthday is New Year's Eve!! My family are big on birthdays so it was a shock for me to see it when we got together, and it is a shock to get presents on his birthday. I found the best thing was just to grin and bear it but make sure the children and I spoil him
20-05-2013 12:49 #7
Some family's are just like that my family are big on birthdays but DHs family it's just another day before I came into his family they didn't even do Christmas now every year we do something special for DHs birthday
20-05-2013 13:04 #8
I know some families aren't big on birthdays, but her refusal to even acknowledge her brother's birthday is really thoughtless, especially considering the effort you made for hers.
I was talking to a friend on the phone last night and she told me not one of her DH's family called him for his birthday (he has several siblings). He got only a text from his mother. Some people just don't give a rats, and it's sad.
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20-05-2013 13:11 #9
OP you seem to have a lot of grievances with many people in your life. I think it's time to stop worrying about what other people are doing and just live your own life.
20-05-2013 13:16 #10
In my family, we have never really worried about sending birthday or Christmas cards unless its to the kids. If someone has a party or get together we will, but other than that we don't bother. If we remember, great! If not, no one really cares that much, we all know we love each other... no biggie. My in laws on the other hand get really offended and upset if I forget to send a card or call. I try my hardest but in all honesty I resent being forced to do it. It's not like they are kids, they are all adults. It's just not the way I have been bought up to do things. In my mind, dh can send them a card if its that big a deal.... I don't know why I'm the bad guy if I forget to send a card for brother in laws 31 st birthday... I find it all un natural and forced.
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