My baby died at 20 weeks a couple of months ago. Since then I have had such bad anxiety. In the beginning it was extreme I felt like I couldn't function and the thoughts in my head would never turn off it was like torture. The last month or so I have felt in control of it. Still with irrational thoughts but I could manage to let logic overcome them. Well today it has come back full force. I can not function. I am just a mess crying because I am sick of all of this pain when will it ever end?! I am yelling at my kids because I do not have the head space for them right now. I have no support no one to come and help. I am a mess. I feel so stupid that this is the only place I can ask for help or vent. I feel like such a loser that I have no one in my life who is there for me (other than my husband but he is always at work). I don't know how I am going to get through the day. I am seeing a psychologist but my appointment isn't for another 2 weeks. I just need to get through today but all I want to do is lay down and cry. I feel so embarrassed laying all my emotions out for the world to see I just don't know what to do.
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20-05-2013 07:59 #1
How to get through the day?? Anxious.
Last edited by Whoknows; 20-05-2013 at 14:25.
20-05-2013 10:43 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Can you ring lifeline or see your gp?
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20-05-2013 10:50 #3
I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I hope you find some support soon.
Have you looked into whether there are any support groups in your area for parents who suffered the loss of a child. I have a friend who stress one and the support from the other parents is what gets her through some days, it sounds like this could be beneficial for you.
I hope you get through this, reach out your husband, he might just be burying his head in the sand.
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20-05-2013 11:05 #4
I have called a helpline previously and to be honest haven't found them very helpful. Also I usually have one of my kids at my heels so its hard to have a conversation.
I have seen my gp she is the one that referred me to the psychologist. I am thinking about going back to see her to let her know I am starting to feel worse again. In all honesty I'm not sure what she can do to help, I feel like I'm a hopeless case 😞.
20-05-2013 11:10 #5
I have looked into support groups and I know there is one near me. I do think it would be helpful I guess I have avoided it because I almost feel like my daughter was stillborn at 20 weeks but there will be people there who's bubs were born sleeping full term or who died of cot death and who am I to complain about my problems to them? I know it sounds stupid and no one would ever think that way. I think also I worry about taking my kids there like if they mucked up or something I would feel embarrassed. Maybe I should just make myself go you just never know until you try right?
I have talked to hubby he is fantastic I can't believe how supportive and kind he is. The fact is but he works such long hours its just impossible for him to be here for me. This is also why I can't see my psychologist for another two weeks because I can never get anyone to watch my kids for me.
20-05-2013 11:21 #6
Call your local child health nurse. Mine was so helpful when I had some issues recently. She had me a referral to a psych in 4 hours... Then the psych called me that day and booked an appt for the next day.
20-05-2013 11:24 #7
My psych said I could bring kids...I didn't but there was a play/drawing area. Was a specialist in grief, trauma and childbirth...( sorry can't think of exact word right now) it was a private service but if I had a mental health plan from gp it was free. Or call women's hospital and ask to speak to a social worker.
20-05-2013 14:24 #8
20-05-2013 17:03 #9
If your uncertain about taking your kids with you, maybe call the leader of the organization/group and see if they have a play area or even a separate book to keep your kids busy while you have your "healing" time.
As for whether your grief and loss is greater or lesser then anothers, (and this is just my opinion) I think losing a child, whether they are four months, four years or forty, is equally hard on every family. So don't ps3 down your grief, its cry important you look after yourself. I'm glad to hear your husband is being as supportive as possible, and your feeling a little better now.
Please always post or update if you need to get it out. There are some amazing, supportive posters on here.
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20-05-2013 17:23 #10
I suffered bad PND and anxiety after the birth of my dd. Some of my tips for getting through the day are...
*live in the moment (forget about the future, forget about the past, just live in the here and now)
*enjoy and bask in simple things and appreciate what you have and what's around you (beautiful sunsets, flowers, smiles of your kids)
*set small achievable goals like having a shower, visiting a park etc
*realise your triggers and understand the true nature of your feelings.
good luck. It's a horrible and defeating illness but you can overcome it. Xx
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