This is a long rant, as I'm so worried I have no idea what to do anymore! So ex was having DS every Wednesday and every second Saturday and Sunday only during the day. But about three weeks ago he couldn't have him on the Saturday or Sunday cuz he was going away, that was all fine. Then the Wednesday came and DS woke up sick so he stayed home (he is clingy to me when he is sick and refuses to go to his father) so the other day I get a text from ex abusing me for ruining his life and he is glad he has a daughter on the way, something I didn't give him! I didn't reply cuz I wasn't in the mood for arguing so then I get another one saying he knows I'm pregnant and I only got pregnant cuz they are having a baby. I didn't tell him I was pregnant cuz I'm only 8wks and I knew he would carry on. Apparently my so called friend told him! So then he sends me several other msgs but the that really concerns me is where he says I ruined his life and he will never forgive me and pay back is coming. So I told him that he wasn't to see DS until we went back to mediation so now he is still texting me saying im the blame that his gf has left him so he is going to commit suicide and leave a note saying I'm to blame and that I'll have to explain it to his two sons and daughter.
I'm actually too scared to stay at my house cuz he knows where I live and I have seen him drive past a few times (we don't do pick ups and drop offs at each others house, we meet at a local shopping center, well that's when he was seeing DS) so I've been staying at my parents house. He is obviously unstable I have no idea what he is capable of. I refuse to let him have DS as I'm so scared he will do something to him to get back at me!
I know this post may be confusing and not make any sense, I just needed to get it off my chest
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17-05-2013 20:58 #1
Ex is driving me insane!
17-05-2013 21:04 #2
Document everything, drive bys, calls texts, dates, times.
Keep all texts and don't answer unless someone is there to hear what he says.
Get a lawyer. Have mediation.
18-05-2013 08:52 #3
We did go to mediation. They told us if we had anymore issues to go to relationships Australia so I'm going there on Tuesday. I've kept all my text messages and facebook inboxes. He sent me a text last night saying DS was no child of his and he doesn't want his name on the birth certificate. He obviously needs professional help or something!
18-05-2013 09:20 #4
I agree with Nazgul. Document absolutely everything. Screen shot all messages, keep a diary of events- include date, time, exactly what happened.
Have you spoken to the police about his behaviour?
Maybe contact legal aid or a lawyer for advice?
18-05-2013 09:45 #5
18-05-2013 09:53 #6
When we split up I did have a pfvo out on him because he held a knife to my throat while I was holding DS who was 5months old at the time. We went I think about a year with no contact then he got in contact with me when he first got with this new gf and I seriously thought he had changed - stupid of me I know!
18-05-2013 10:22 #7
I would look at reinstating that DVO/AVO for your own safety. He sounds awfully unstable-I don't think visitations with your DS are suitable unless it's appropriately supervised.
I really think some legal advice should be high on the list of priorities atm. If you are too scared to remain in your home, something needs to be done!
I hope you get it sorted out, it's a really sucky situation to be in!
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18-05-2013 10:23 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
Go and get some free legal advice from your local community legal centre before doing anymore mediation.
I do not know the facts of your case so this is information only, but in your type of situation I tell clients not to do mediation and to just let the matter drop.
At the moment you effectively get to call the shots re the father spending time with the children as they are living with you and not spending much time with him (which seems to be his choice). If he does not want to follow your terms you can cancel all visits.
Then you sit back and do nothing until he initiates mediation and/or court action.
The risk you take by initiating mediation/court action first is that he may end up with more time with the children then you would like.
If he starts action you can respond, there is no such thing as 'first in best dressed' with the family court.
There is no law that people have to have parenting orders, which some people seem to think there is.
Of course if you want to mediate and formalise arrangements then go for it, but either way you should get some legal advice first.
18-05-2013 10:27 #9
<3 A Daughter Will Hold Your Hand For A Little While, But Will Hold Your Heart Forever <3
18-05-2013 10:45 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
If you do not have your own lawyer then definitely go get some advice.
There are a couple of options in your situation re the mediation so it would benefit you if you were able to get advice before the next session.
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