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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012

    Default No idea what to do :(

    Okay well I just had my 2nd ds 2 weeks ago. The day I went into labour my dp was made redundant. Therefore we are basically relying on centrelink for income after holiday/ redundancy payments are used and they're almost gone. We pay $300 rent. Dp is currently applying for jobs all over Australia hoping to get a foot into the mining industry. If not at least an apprenticeship. He is 24 and I am 19. The thing is.. he is happy to pack us all up and move. I do not want to move I will have no support I barely get any from dp as he leaves the kids and their problems with me and isn't very emotionally comforting. I love him and I do not want to split but we want different things he wants to move away regardless and whatever decision we make one of us will end up resenting the other. If he moves and I stay I will be relying on centre link for at least 2 years whilst I study and will probably have to move in with my dad or get government assisted housing. If I go with him I will have the perfect family from the outside but an empty heart. Emotions are still all over the place.. I just don't know what I am supposed to do
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Could he look at a FIFO job in WA? Great income and you wouldn't have to move.
    I only suggest this as you said he isn't there for you much anyway and I believe you should stay where you have the support.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Could you try to explain you need help with looking after the children. Not a heap because after all- he is working (presumably, when he gets a job) but just with dinner and bathing and around the house.
    Also, could you put a time limit on it? Like discuss an amount of time your willing to "try" the living away from home thing. Maybe 6months- give it a good solid 6months and than if you still don't like it- revisit the discussion.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Firstly, I'm sorry to hear your DP has lost his job. It must be an incredibly worrying time for you, especially with the birth of your second Son.

    Also, congratulations on your new baby.

    I think you really have to look at your relationship. You say you love him and don't want to break up, but is that true? You are already considering separating from him if he moves.

    If you truly love him and see a "forever" with him, you will follow him. I would move into a caravan across the other side of the world to be with my DH. I couldn't imagine not being with him. (Ive been with men that I knew were never going to be "forever" and there was no way I'd move for them). I've followed my DH and I have no family support and little child rearing help from him, so I do understand what that is like.

    Unfortunately, he will have to go where the work is. You need to decide how much you truly do want to be with him. If you do move you will need to do the hard work to make a support network where to move to. It can be done.

    BTW - what kind of work does he do? I know of someone that was looking for "fix out" carpenters to work away. I think it's a fly in fly out type job but I dont know too many details.

    Good luck.


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