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  1. #11
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    Thanks for all your replies. I'm still leaning towards inviting both for the very reasons of him being upset if he's not invited, tho I have a feeling he wouldn't give a hoot 😄DD now understands why he should be invited too and is completely accepting of it, bless her.

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    Are you able to speak with their mother & get an idea of how he'd react and work from there?

    Overall though, I agree with pp who said they'd only invite the twin your DD plays with.

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    I would invite the twin. If they were older I would only invite the child your daughter wants but given that they're so young they wouldn't understand yet.

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    The way I see it is just because they are twins, doesn't mean they should be treated differently to any other sibling set. If one of your DD's little friends had a younger sibling would you invite them just so that they don't get upset? No, you probably wouldn't, if that sibling was not friends with your child.
    At some point, children have to learn that they don't automatically get to do everything just because their sibling does. Even twins should get the opportunity to have their own individual experiences.

    But, perhaps I'm a bit of a hard-@ss with stuff like this. I also hate it when you have a birthday party for one sibling and people bring presents for the other sibling so that they don't feel left out.

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    hi , as a mother of twins, I always accepted that my girls would have different friends, and different social circles. They were mostly in different classes as the school policy was to separate twins if possible. I would contact the mother, and see what her feelings are. Then make your decision. Marie.

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    I'd still invite both, 5 is too young to understand and twin bonds are different to just siblings so I see that as different to having to invite a sibling.
    My girls are always invited to things together but they mostly have the same friends anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post

    But, perhaps I'm a bit of a hard-@ss with stuff like this. I also hate it when you have a birthday party for one sibling and people bring presents for the other sibling so that they don't feel left out.
    That's a really thoughtful thing for someone to do though. When I was little my grandparents used to always buy me and my siblings a smaller gift when it was one of the other siblings birthdays. Until we were maybe 10 or something when we knew it was all about the other person. I wouldn't want a mum to be annoyed if I brought a small something for the other sibling at a birthday party.. I didnt even think about it being an annoying thing but I understand what your saying.. Sorry a bit off topic!

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    Quote Originally Posted by pisang View Post
    That's a really thoughtful thing for someone to do though. When I was little my grandparents used to always buy me and my siblings a smaller gift when it was one of the other siblings birthdays. Until we were maybe 10 or something when we knew it was all about the other person. I wouldn't want a mum to be annoyed if I brought a small something for the other sibling at a birthday party.. I didnt even think about it being an annoying thing but I understand what your saying.. Sorry a bit off topic!
    I probably wouldn't say anything but I think that the birthday child should get to feel special on their day and it takes away from it for them when their siblings are getting presents too. And I think that its good for kids to learn early on that sometimes its about someone else.

  10. #19
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    Invite both. They're 5, he won't understand why his sister is invited and he isn't.

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    I'd just invite the girl. The other twin needs to learn that you only get invited to parties of people you are friends with. You don't get a free pass because you're twin. If he's upset it will be a good lesson in hardening up.

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