What would you do if your 2 year old runs into a busy car park, refusing to listen (while you have your hands full), refusing to hold your hand? What if said two year old thought shouting or raised voices were funny? What if your two year old knew it was the right thing to hold your hand but as they ran into the traffic they turned around and gave you a cheeky grin as they ran off? Time out is ineffective, it doesn't worry her. What do you do? . I smacked her. But it's ineffective. She thinks its funny. I am open to suggestions
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14-05-2013 10:59 #1
Calling all non- smackers...advice please?
14-05-2013 11:02 #2
Sent from my magical black talky thingy using bubhub
14-05-2013 11:05 #3
I am not sure that i have many answers for you. But at 2 I would perhaps consider keeping them in a pram when out and about if they are going to run into traffic and risk serious injury. Maybe if your DD doesn't like the pram, she will be more likely to listen to you if the threat of not listening is to sit in the pram and if she likes the pram then atleast she can stay safe in there until she is a bit older and can fully understand the dangers of running on roads.
I have always refused to let me kiddies come into the shops or anywhere if they didn't stop and hold my hand to cross the road.
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14-05-2013 11:06 #4
I had little back pack harnesses for my lot when they were that age - as I knew most times in carparks I would have my hands busy (when DS1 was 2 his brother and sister were only 6 months old for example) - I tend to show real worried emotions in circumstances like this though and don't hold back on the truth that if a car came at the wrong time they could be seriously injured or even killed.
We walk through the car park and watch for the white lights (reverse lights of cars that might be pulling out) - I found focusing on something was handy.
14-05-2013 11:16 #5
Subbing - sounds very much like my nearly 2.5 yo DS1.
He thinks me yelling STOP! means give mum a grin and run a bit faster in the opposite direction. Fortunatley this has only ever happened at parks, he has no option but to hold my hand or be carried where there is traffic (or I hold onto the back of his shirt if he's being really difficult and won't hold hands/ be carried). If I have shopping etc he is in the trolley.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 14-05-2013 at 11:19.
14-05-2013 11:24 #6
Harness. I know some people don't like them but I rather someone think I'm a terrible person for using one if it old potentially save my child injury or even death. That or a stroller if she will stay in it.
14-05-2013 11:29 #7
My two older boys have been/still are bolters. At 2yo, if they couldn't/wouldn't hold my hand and do as I ask, they were in the pram. They didn't always like it, but tough, it was a consequence of not doing the safe/right thing.
ETA - I would explain why they were in the pram and remind them, that if they wanted to walk, they had to do XYZ, and that next time they could walk, but if they still didn't do as I asked, it was back in the pram.
Last edited by Lillynix; 14-05-2013 at 11:31.
14-05-2013 11:49 #8Senior Member
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- Oct 2012
I know my 2 year old understands every single word i say to her. Are you sure your 2 year old understands what you want from them? Does he understand the consequences like, if you run onto the road without me, a car will run you over and you will get hurt/fall down. So you need to hold my hand while we cross the road. Then praise preaise praise, even a treat.
We tried the harness and she absolutely hated it, it actually frightened her! Because of that bad experience she no longer likes to feel like something is holding/pulling her - including me. Crossing roads/carparks are a challenge for us also. She has recently understood STOP (i put my arm down infront of her body). WAIT. LOOK FOR CARS. OK QUICKLY CROSS, GOOD WALKING, GOOD WALKING!. then i say well done! and she applauds herself.
Ive also really made a point in letting her know what is happening/where we are going/what we will see/do in advance. The night before daycare, we get her clothes out all ready and i remind her when she goes to bed that it's daycare tomorrow, see the kids, play on the slide ect.. Also telling her "in 5 minutes we need to put your shoes on to go to the shops"....."in 5 minutes we are going to get in the car to go to the shops..." Just so she is aware of whats happening to her. Pull up at the shops "remember you need to stop and look for cars when we get out, it's very busy" DD has started copying in her own language "ery ussy, OP!" (VERY BUSY, STOP!)
PRAISE, Repetition and being consistant, SIMPLE instructions and telling them consequences seems to have worked for us.
Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 14-05-2013 at 11:54.
14-05-2013 12:01 #9
My 2.5 yo DD is afraid of cars and car parks (actually she is afraid of a lot of things). I say to her 'danger' and she knows it is not safe. I have taught my children that cars can squash. She will then want to be carried or ride on the pram or at the very least hold my hand.
Sorry I haven't read all of the pp but have you tried to tell your Child how dangerous it can be...It sounds as though he understands you given his cheeky grin.
14-05-2013 12:02 #10
I started "training!" DS since he could walk ( about 15 months) I would let him out if the pram at shops etc but he had to hold my hand or the pram, if not he had to go straight back in, for about the first week or so he would walk away maybe every 2nd time he was allowed out and then just repetition and consequence ( of being back in the pram) and now (2.5) he is really good , by 2 we stopped using the pram and maybe twice since then he has walked away, I picked him straight up and we go home , he knows its just the rules now, so for you OP as pp said start from scratch, strap her in the pram and let him see the consequence if he runs, straight back in the pram or straight back home
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