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  1. #541
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    There's a lot of love in here and I hope you find the support you're looking for, so sorry for your loss x

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjaguar View Post
    @Ladydee - thanks hon, and I'm so sorry you have been through this too. I feel so let down by my body not telling me something was wrong - and I just want to know WHY? It's just heartbreaking. We'll be talking to someone in the next few weeks, once things have calmed down a bit.

    Just so devastated.
    Big big hugs mrsjaguar.... So sorry you have dealt with all of this

  3. #543
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    I'm still finding myself so surprised that there are so many little moments of sorrow each day and such a sense of loss.

    I'm at the airport waiting to fly interstate for work and last time I was here I was arriving having spent a sunset flight literally begging the universe out the plane window along with any god you can think of to let my little embryo stick that I had invested so much in.

    When I landed that night there was a young mum waiting to board holding the most gorgeous baby boy in a stripey sleep suit and I'm not actually normally a gushy person over babies but he just got me the way he was gazing up at his mum and I thought it's my turn, I want this one.

    Same gate this morning. No baby there or for me. I just want to shake somebody or scream or something. This is so awful and nothing makes it any better not wine or coffee or sleep and watching my husband grieve is the worst of all.

    Feels like we've really had more than our share of random acts of ****tiness lately. The complete lack of control is so hard to bear - there's nothing more we could have done or can do in the next cycle. Hope doesn't work. All the clean living didn't save it, and the more I follow people in this forum the less I am convinced anyone gets justice.

    How can it be so easy for others to have not just one baby but a whole family of kids when we struggle so hard to get there with IVF and get nowhere?

  4. #544
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjaguar View Post
    @Ladydee - thanks hon, and I'm so sorry you have been through this too. I feel so let down by my body not telling me something was wrong - and I just want to know WHY? It's just heartbreaking. We'll be talking to someone in the next few weeks, once things have calmed down a bit.

    Just so devastated.
    I totally get that feeling Specially after seeing/hearing the heartbeat a couple of times huh? I did the mistake of telling my dd after the 9 week scan too so she kept kissing/patting my belly saying "little baaaaby" for a good couple of months afterwards, even though I kept explaining "no, baby's sleeping....no more baby" . I still stare at my scan pictures of bub every now and then, specially as my due date for that bub is approaching in September Are you getting your bubs remains tested to check for chromosome problems @mrsjaguar ? I think it did help me in those early post m/c days to have a "why?" answered to keep away the mummy-guilts. I think you can find out the sex with those tests too. I haven't asked about mine yet but I will one day so I'm not an 80 year old lady one day, still wondering....

    AFM - 1st m/c bub due date today I've been doing ok about it all until this week when I've been really stuffed around at work by my boss which is really stressing me out which then leads me on to thinking that I should be well and truly on maternity leave and none if this should even matter to me as I should be cuddling my new born instead. Urgh, SURLEY 2014 has got to get better at some point right?! Ok, vent over....time to try and get back into my positive frame of mind for my IVF cycle.

    Hugs ladies xxx

  5. #545
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladydee View Post
    I totally get that feeling Specially after seeing/hearing the heartbeat a couple of times huh? I did the mistake of telling my dd after the 9 week scan too so she kept kissing/patting my belly saying "little baaaaby" for a good couple of months afterwards, even though I kept explaining "no, baby's sleeping....no more baby" . I still stare at my scan pictures of bub every now and then, specially as my due date for that bub is approaching in September Are you getting your bubs remains tested to check for chromosome problems @mrsjaguar ? I think it did help me in those early post m/c days to have a "why?" answered to keep away the mummy-guilts. I think you can find out the sex with those tests too. I haven't asked about mine yet but I will one day so I'm not an 80 year old lady one day, still wondering....

    AFM - 1st m/c bub due date today I've been doing ok about it all until this week when I've been really stuffed around at work by my boss which is really stressing me out which then leads me on to thinking that I should be well and truly on maternity leave and none if this should even matter to me as I should be cuddling my new born instead. Urgh, SURLEY 2014 has got to get better at some point right?! Ok, vent over....time to try and get back into my positive frame of mind for my IVF cycle.

    Hugs ladies xxx

    Huge hugs to you. I can't even imagine how hard the due dates must/are going to be. You're a strong mama. The only thing that was reassuring for us is that our daughter (who is 16 months old) is too young to know what's happened. Disappointing her would have just completely ruined me, but she's too small to know. We'll tell her when she's bigger.

    Yes, we opted for testing. Because it was an IVF pregnancy, they offered it as standard - and we would really like to know of gender + any chromosomal abnormalities. My OB seems to think it's more likely an embryo issue than one with me carrying to term, since I didn't lose the baby early & my body still supported that pregnancy, even though it was over. But we'll see.

    It's the waiting around that's the worst.

    When's your next cycle? We have one frozen embryo left, and I really want to use it sooner rather than later - it's just knowing when.

  6. #546
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    Im so sorry you guys are going through this as well although i cant imagine how hard ivf is on top of a miscarriage.
    Question, when do you seek further advice with consecutive miscarriages? is it 3 or more consecutive?

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    Quote Originally Posted by myliltiger1 View Post
    Im so sorry you guys are going through this as well although i cant imagine how hard ivf is on top of a miscarriage.
    Question, when do you seek further advice with consecutive miscarriages? is it 3 or more consecutive?
    Not 100% sure but my ob said we would investigate more if I have another one ... So for him 2

  8. #548
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    Quote Originally Posted by myliltiger1 View Post
    Im so sorry you guys are going through this as well although i cant imagine how hard ivf is on top of a miscarriage.
    Question, when do you seek further advice with consecutive miscarriages? is it 3 or more consecutive?
    I think it's normally 3 but it depends on which hospital you're going to. The women's and children's in adelaide refers you to a recurrent miscarriage clinic after 2 (thank god they offered this to my dp and I) but everywhere else over here is after 3.
    I practically begged my doctor to have me seen after 2. I just couldn't bear the thought of having a third miscarriage if I could prevent it.

  9. #549
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    Quote Originally Posted by myliltiger1 View Post
    Im so sorry you guys are going through this as well although i cant imagine how hard ivf is on top of a miscarriage.
    Question, when do you seek further advice with consecutive miscarriages? is it 3 or more consecutive?
    I agree that I think it's usually after 3 but I got my bub tested after my 2nd loss. My FS ordered all of the clotting and a couple of immune blood tests after my 2nd loss also....I think he was as shocked as us that we lost that one. I just had a hysteroscopy after my 3rd loss.
    My 2nd miscarried bub had a trisomy problem but other than that, all of my tests have come back as normal. DH & I had already had chromosome blood tests done while we were still TTC our daughter which came back fine so we know the chromosome problem was not hereditary, just a 1-in-10,000 chance bad luck apparently. I chose to wait to miscarry naturally my 1st and 3rd loss and didn't get the bubs tested but if I have another loss I will try and miscarry naturally again but definitely get the remains tested as it drives my crazy not knowing for sure why we keep losing our babies

  10. #550
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjaguar View Post
    Huge hugs to you. I can't even imagine how hard the due dates must/are going to be. You're a strong mama. The only thing that was reassuring for us is that our daughter (who is 16 months old) is too young to know what's happened. Disappointing her would have just completely ruined me, but she's too small to know. We'll tell her when she's bigger.Yes, we opted for testing. Because it was an IVF pregnancy, they offered it as standard - and we would really like to know of gender + any chromosomal abnormalities. My OB seems to think it's more likely an embryo issue than one with me carrying to term, since I didn't lose the baby early & my body still supported that pregnancy, even though it was over. But we'll see. It's the waiting around that's the worst.When's your next cycle? We have one frozen embryo left, and I really want to use it sooner rather than later - it's just knowing when.
    Aww @mrsjaguar , huge hugs right back at you Hun, I've had a bit of time to deal with things but you're still in the raw, painful stage The due dates do suck so I wish you a nice big healthy baby bump growing away by the time your due date comes around

    My dd was 9 months old when we started ttc#2 but she's 2 & 1/2 now so she definitely understood when I was silly enough to try and explain to her why she couldn't jump on my belly like she wanted to at the time. It must have really made an impression on her as I couldn't believe how long after our loss that she kept bringing it up (which was of-course like a knife in my heart each time, gosh she'll be a wonderful big sister if given the chance!).....I guess she has watched me go through three rounds of morning sickness too and would chase me as I ran to the loo to hurl and ask me if I was ok and pat my back. How this second round of infertility is affecting her is my biggest constant worry and the majority of what I spend my time talking to my counsellor about, the mummy-guilt is overwhelming! Does that ever worry you or do you think your dd can't sense anything is up quite yet? I spent my DD's second birthday party with my 11 week old dead foetus still in my belly I found out that bub had passed away a day before her big birthday party with all her little friends & parents and had my D&C three days later Sounds bizarre to me now but at the time everyone around me except my DH encouraged us to go ahead with the party....I was running around putting decorations up and icing cupcakes thinking what the f@ck am I even doing ??! I really can't believe I'm even blessed enough to have my dd....she sure was worth the fight, as I'm sure yours is too! (gotta remind myself when times get tuff that my second bub will be worth it too!). I just really hope I'm cherishing all of her milestones enough and am not too distracted by all of this other sh!te going on.

    The waiting does suck, when are you expecting the chromosome results to be ready? I had my D&C on the Tuesday and got the Trisomy 13 result on the Friday....which was my birthday! My FS phoned me and started off the conversation by wishing me a happy birthday....he was very kind and caring about it all though. I agree with the logic that most missed miscarriages are probably a foetus problem rather that a mum-carrying-bub problem. All three of my lost angels were burrowed nicely under a good layer of lining, my cervix was still closed, not a drop of blood or pain and I still had pregnancy symptoms. I'm sure you were (as I was) on progesterone support.....do you think that could of contributed to the "missed" part of the missed miscarriage? Just something that has passed through my mind...

    This coming Thursday would make this current cycle 4 weeks long so it really depends on wether I fluked another natural ovulation or not as with my PCOS, my cycles are normally all over the place. It's only since my first miscarriage in December that I've started ovulating but who knows how long that will last? So yeah, I start stimming for IVF (antagonist) with this next AF.....I do actually feel ready for whatever it may bring. You give yourself some time to heal physically and emotionally and I'll see you on the IVF threads when you decide to pick up your waiting frostie- bub! Xxx

    I'm still here in the meantime though
    Last edited by Ladydee; 17-08-2014 at 18:24.


 

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