Pinkblue, what a horrible situation to be in, and I think it just makes it worse at Christmas, although it's horrid anytime :-(
I was exactly the same, I had an eight week scan and the baby measured 7 weeks and 1 day with no heartbeat. I chose to wait to see if I could mc naturally, not wanting medical interference if I could help it - and I waited 4 weeks and nothing... The placenta kept growing, so I had ALL the pregnancy symptoms, knowing there was no little baby there and it was dreadful. I had morning sickness, sore breasts, my belly was starting to swell etc and it was all for nothing.
In the end I couldn't handle it anymore, and booked in for a D&C. I wish I had done that earlier, as I missed out on another couple of months of TTC while I was waiting, and it was just emotionally draining.
With the D&C itself, it was fine. I was terrified of hospital, so I actually went to an abortion clinic that was very friendly and personable - figuring that they do D&C's all day long and will be experts... I had lunch with my DH after and other than some cramping and bloating, I was fine after with no bleeding. I had cramps for weeks as my uterus went back into shape, and my next period was five weeks after the D&C.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do xxxx
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22-12-2013 08:58 #101
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22-12-2013 13:59 #102
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22-12-2013 20:34 #103Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
- north queensland
Hi ladies, it's been a week or 2 since I was on this site.. So sorry to be welcoming new ladies ( in the nicest way ) it's never nice to read of smothers pain and anguish.
We still cannot get into the Christmas spirit. And I still can't get DH to talk about our future on the conception front.. He is still not comfortable discussing it.
We are heading to my family for Xmas and are getting weekly calls from DH family to check how we are going.. It's nice to know that they care about us, but sometimes I just feel like saying that enough is enough..
we are lucky.. Every one around us knows what we have been through so we can be ourselves and not feel like we have to hide our emotions.. ( that's a big plus in times like this ) if we are upset and want to be alone .. We can .. If we want to be kept occupied and take our mind off things.. We can do that too .. And then no body asks.. What's wrong with you ??
That is certainly 1 question that I don't need to be answering right now ..
Pink blue.. A word of advice.. When you have had the procedure.. Don't push yourself to get " normal" .. Rest for a few days.. You will feel better for it.. We were on a plane 3 days after I had mine .. And while it didn't change how much I bled or cramped.. I felt very tired.. Walking through the airport, on and off the plane to hire cars etc.. they say You will bleed heavy for the first 4-7 days then it normally eases off , ( i bled then spotted for a total of 4 weeks ) so you might feel more comfortable not doing much anyway..
I guess what I am saying is.. everyone is different, but be sure and don't push yourself .. Relax and let your body heal..
We are here on this site to get support from eachother.. And to offer help to those who come after us..
Last edited by maturemum1501; 22-12-2013 at 20:59.
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23-12-2013 05:13 #104
Maturemum it is good that family knows what you've been through and you can be yourself. Hopefully DH comes around in the New Year and opens up a bit.
You are right that everyone is different - while I haven't had a d&c from a miscarriage, I have had one from an abortion with my first pregnancy (no judgments pls everyone) - barely cramped and from what I can remember, no spotting.
23-12-2013 09:05 #105
So sorry to read pinkblue I have had two D&C's n both have been different, I chose to have them as I freaked out at the same thought and didn't want to go natural because of these thoughts as well as the unfortunate fact I'm allergic to pads. Anyway, my first I was in and out n was physically pretty good with no bleeding or cramping afterwards and I had my period 5 weeks later as well. The most recent one (2 weeks ago) I'm still bleeding on and off and my belly is just really sore, I keep describing it as raw. Hopefully back to 'normal' soon.
I too cannot get into the Xmas spirit. What's the point? Whenever I look at decorations, I just think of how horrible I feel. I don't even want to do anything at all. My mum is having Xmas lunch but I'm really gearing up to say 'no, sorry-I can't do this today'. It's really hard
Last edited by Chillies; 23-12-2013 at 09:08.
23-12-2013 16:09 #106
Thanks @littleduck and @Chillies, I've just had it done and feeling pretty good overall. I cried afterwards but am feeling a bit better now. I'm still in hospital hooked up to an iv, but hope to go in an hour or two.
So grateful I could have this done before Christmas.
Speaking of, I feel the same @Chillies, what's the point? Our families don't know, so depending on how I feel we'll go and put on a fake happy face. Hope I'll be feeling ok. Will make the call on the day. Christmas is over for me this year before its even begun...
23-12-2013 16:10 #107
23-12-2013 17:28 #108
Glad u were able to get it done before Xmas Pinkblue, it took me 2 weeks to get what I wanted!! I hope u continue to feel good and all the best for Xmas day, I was like I didn't want ppl to know but it's much better if they do because I get a very short fuse, I don't wanna be judged without ppl knowing the story but the flip side of that is ppl don't know what to say or try n say 'the right' thing yet totally hurt ur feelings. Good luck with whatever u decided though n I hope none of us know this feeling ever again X
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23-12-2013 17:34 #109
Glad you were able to have it done before Christmas...xxxooo
27-12-2013 15:50 #110
Has anyone experienced sciatica after a miscarriage? I've never had lower back pain til falling pregnant and now the baby is gone, I have what I think is sciatica (pain in buttock/hip/down leg and lower back). It's started after my D&C.
Any tips on how to relieve the pain would be great! And whether it will go away with time?
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