This thread has made me feel less alone.
I have amazing bffs who are my family & their gorgeously normal families treat me like I'm one of them.
Families sure are nuts sometimes:/
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10-05-2013 11:58 #51Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
10-05-2013 14:57 #52
Man some of these stories. Thank you all for sharing. Ill update on my situation once dh reads my letter but he knows whats coming.
Makes me feel less alone too.
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10-05-2013 15:23 #53
I agree with you about this thread making you feel less alone. It has been really good reading everyone else's reasons. Makes me remember why I decided to make the break in the first place.
10-05-2013 15:27 #54
09-06-2013 18:48 #55Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
I did, my mother three years ago. I've seen her four times in the past year and haven't spoken more than two words to her.
She totally overstepped the mark three years ago and refused to acknowledge or apologise. But my reason for steadfast refusal to move on from it and reconnect with her is because not of what she did back then but what I know she will do in the future. She can be superficially nice and then she drives the knife in. Frankly I do not want my daughter around her at all.
My long suffering husband just used to avoid her. He never ever told me to cut her out. And honestly I was so enmeshed if he had suggested it I'd have freaked out.
I'd been conditioned from babyhood to serve my mother. Not stick up for myself. Put up with her abuse etc. I had an moment of enlightenment when my daughter became a teen and I just could not imagine myself being so nasty to my daughter to make her cry. Then I questioned why my mother would routinely be nasty to me and make me bawl and then smirk once the tears started flowing. Why did she enjoy upsetting me? I'd be mortified if my cruel words made my own daughter cry.
And then I realised I didn't have to let her make me cry anymore. And she will never get a chance to make me cry again. And I was sure never going to give her a chance to make my beautiful daughter cry.
09-06-2013 19:12 #56
Singloud your mother sounds a bit like mine. Nothing is ever her fault and unless something will benefit her she isn't interested. Since we moved to oz 2 years ago she has contacted me twice (not even when she found out I was pregnant, I had to contact her...) she is good at laying on the guilt trips etc but I practically raised my siblings (with some help from her) and she has also never acknowledged that. She picks favourites and makes sure we know it. I respond if she contacts me but I don't go out of my way to get in touch with her. Don't see the point anymore. The only thing I thank my parents for is that they taught me how NOT to do things. I know for a fact that I will be a better mother to my children due my experiences growing up and knowing I could never treat anyone like that. I don't believe in keeping toxic people around me and I don't feel guilty about phasing her out at all.
09-06-2013 19:19 #57Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
No I haven't but I'm thinking about it......seriously...
09-06-2013 19:47 #58
He'll yes and have been better off for it ..
Why ....step Mother in Law quiet a few times because she was too opinionated and thought that it was her way or nothing...(I hate people like that)...
MIL because she has NO time for anyone but herself.....
Two sisters and 1 brother because they behaved disgustingly at our Mothers funeral..
My life is so much better and happier without their **** .....
Last edited by RuffledPansy; 09-06-2013 at 19:54.
09-06-2013 20:18 #59
Yes. and it was one of the happiest days of my life when the decision was made! Haven't had squat to do with them for almost 3 lovely years! If they call, I just hang up. Words are wasted on them..
09-06-2013 20:57 #60
Yes I have now...Well 4.5 years ago I got married to a wonderful man, and the night of my wedding the dj wanted to know about the speeches who was going to speak first anyway normally it's the brides father who speaks first but at our wedding my fil spoke first and my dad had the last speech and by this time he was full of booze and pi$$ed off so for the who night he didn't speak to me and never has since, I sent him a letter to ask him what was wrong and apologizing for him not being first to speak and I have confronted him and he tried to ignore me and he told me he didn't like me and wanted nothing to do with me or my kids & he told me that I never let his girlfriend hold my kids which is a load of rubbish and I also wrote a message to him through fb but no answer so now I've decided that he no longer is intitled to have any thing to do with my kids or me ever.
and also my 2 sister who are very jealous of my life have chosen not to have anything to do with me or my family either and part of that is because of my dad is their choice...
but I'm lucky to be blessed with my beautiful husband and kids and that make my life happy and complete.
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