Not cut off entirely. As I have respect for my father who would be deeply burdened, but I don't make an effort I guess anymore with one of my sisters. I do t even think she realises that's how self absorbed she is. I don't phone we message her or give presents or ask how she is doing anymore.
Straw that broke the camels back was my wedding when her family 'forgot' and didn't turn up (she was in Italy at the time) and made me invite her husband and son even though I knew they didn't want too and I only had a 40 guest guest list so I wanted people who wanted to be there) yeah.. They forgot.. Forgot that hey costed me $200 and two seats and hey... Aside from all that what 'family' member just forgets.. And the. Never says anything about it...
~Isla Rohmaine arriving sept 2013 and a baby makes 3!
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09-05-2013 15:11 #21
09-05-2013 15:18 #22
I have I just don't care what others think anymore!
I cut out my mum because I was sick of having to make the effort all the time, we talk sometimes now when she calls.
I cut out my brother for the same reason as above.
I cut out my other brother because he is a criminal and I refuse to have that around my kids.
I'm trying to cut out the ex's mum but he won't let me (she brings the kids home on his weekend)
I just cut out my cousin because he stole $1,000 width of jewelry!
09-05-2013 19:01 #23
I've cut off my fathers sister and her family. Everything we ever did growing up was a competition and when I hit 16yrs my aunt made it very clear she had no time for me.
I did not hear from any of my cousins when I got married. I did not know my cousin was pregnant until after she had the baby however that did not stop my aunt and her complaining to dad about not getting a gift.
The final straw was my other cousin set her wedding date the same day as mine (I hit engage and had set the date about 5 months prior) she then got angry at my dad because he would not attend her wedding! She changed the date begrudgingly.
Aside from the 3 mins its taken to type this post I don't think about them anymore. I'm much happier because of it.
09-05-2013 19:19 #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
Not cut off exactly, but my brother is a severe and chronic alcholic who has drug issues, so I have "grieved for him" and let go. I realised that he was never going to get better, that rock bottom for him is death. And that he probably will die sooner rather than later. So I let him go. It was really difficult, and I still get down about it now, I know he has an illness etc. But it was really affecting my life and my family, so it needed to be done.
09-05-2013 19:33 #25
I haven't cut my family off so much as can't be bothered to be the one chasing contact all the time. I will respond if they make an effort with me but otherwise I'm happy to forget they exist (mum and 3 of my siblings). They're all completely self involved and my mother is unbelievably selfish. Dad isn't much better but again its a case of responding rather than initiating any contact.
09-05-2013 19:50 #26
Dh has pretty much said no more contact with his dad. He's an a classed d!ick.
He's the kind of person who can't say 'hey son how are you?!' It's 'hey son god you look like ****! Why hasn't your asthma gone away?' Then proceeds to tell us both how everything we do is wrong and that we need to remove certain things from our lives. Also he's done a lot more that I won't go into detail about out of respect for my mil.
Fil will not know when we finally succeed in ttc I don't want his opinions and moronic behaviour tainting our family!!
09-05-2013 19:51 #27
I have.. in a very discreet way.
I used to be very close to my SIL (dh's sister), we would call and meet up several times a week. Over time I saw some very hurtful things she did to other people without realising it, and then she did a few things to me. They weren't all that major, but they were snide and b!tchy and I don't think she thought I would ever find out.
I have a large social circle, with a circle of best friends I have had for almost 2 decades now, and there is zero *****iness among us. I think for this reason I have always had a bit of a zero tolerance for unnecessary b!tchiness and I realised I did not want her in my life in the capacity she was in it. I just gradually stopped calling/meeting up with her. I didn't discuss it with anyone, not even my dh. I am civil with her when I see her, and when she calls me for advice etc., but she is more of a SIL than a friend now. I would never interfere with her sibling relationship with dh, though.
She has made comments to MIL about 'missing me', but to be honest, I don't think she ever learnt how to be a friend. She doesn't have any, and she doesn't know the appropriate ways to treat people.
09-05-2013 19:53 #28
I have 'cut off' my sister and her family, which sadly includes my 5 nieces and nephews whom I adore so much and miss like crazy. But she is a toxic person who was having too much of a negative affect on my life, and I had to be selfish and think of myself and my little family. My action came after I thought to myself 'will this improve? Or will she continue to hurt me like this in the future' best decision I ever made!!! I will talk to my nieces/nephews when they are over 18.
As for inlaws, we don't get along and I simply don't put the effort in anymore, but they are beneficial to my dd's life (they do make an effort sometimes with her) so I'm not going to prevent that.
09-05-2013 19:55 #29-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
OP: sorry you are going through a rough trot and your hubby doesn't have a big family to pick up the slack.
Monster moos: you poor thing! Either your mum has mental issues, is a biatch, or both! Good on your DH for telling her to p-off!
09-05-2013 20:02 #30Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Alexandra Hills
I have cut off my SIL because after being freinds (before and after i married her bro) she became abrasive and offensive toward me. She has made some poor decisions including not informing her brother her bf had hepatitis after her bf physically assaulted him in a drunken rage one night. I feel terrible about this decision because i feel like my children miss out on a relationship with their cousins and visa versa. I also feel that we cant move forward from this. Does anyone else have this guilt? I know i have made the right decision for my family but it still hurts alot. :'(
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