I don't know what to do My DH is an incredibly moral person which I respect enormously, but I fear he is digging his professional grave by being the guy who complains to the union every time someone farts outside of the "award". I'm so worried about his reputation as one of "those" people. His boss is a bully and many people that work there have huge issues with this guy, but my DH is always the one that has to say something, make a fuss, go to the general manager etc. I'm sure he comes across as a nutter to the GM and even though his complaints are valid, nobody else makes them so he's the one who puts a spotlight on himself.
We have a similar person in my workplace and my DH can see that she is digging her own professional grave, but he can't see that he's doing the very same thing. I try to gently point it out to him but I think it just comes across that I'm being unsupportive of his cause.
I don't know why I'm posting here, just need to get it off my chest, but any hints as to how I can help him would be much appreciated
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09-05-2013 13:45 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
My husband is a "union type" :(
09-05-2013 14:07 #2
I'm sorry I actually think you are the one in the wrong here. If he is the only one who stands up to this bully then I think he is fantastic. Workplaces need more people like him, not less!
If he is complaining about things that don't really matter or hurt anyone then yes, maybe he should pick his battles, but I think if someone is truly a bully then they should be reported every time. Nothing can be done otherwise.
09-05-2013 14:11 #3
I don't think being a "union type" is a bad thing, but then I am a public servant. I do however understand your concern if your DH is the only person speaking up.
Does he speak to the union/union delegate or does he go straight to management? Perhaps he could take steps to become involved in the running of the union instead? That way he could join his voice with other people who are passionate about these issues, instead of going it alone.
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09-05-2013 14:11 #4
I think you can help him by supporting him. He sounds like a great guy with the courage to stand up for his rights. Why should he get walked over and bullied? From what info you have given, I have to agree with the pp that it sounds like he's not the one "in the wrong" so to speak. Workplace safety in all forms is very important- who knows what would happen without people like your DH!
09-05-2013 14:18 #5
I can see why you are worried about his reputation, most companies give the person standing up for their rights a hard go because it makes them actually have to do something to fix it.
But I agree, he should stand up for his rights and what he believes in and definitely support him in that as I am sure he isn't having it easy at work.
09-05-2013 14:18 #6
My mum is a union type and I get what you are saying like I agree with all the pp's on he's doing the right thing but I know I actually don't tell people who my mum is when I go for a Job in house (we work in the same department as public servants) because manager do recognize her name as a union rep and know she will rip them a new one if they step outside the EB. It can be embarrassing for me as a young person putting up with the general crap the younger lower down employees get because if I complain she goes
To my manager and I feel like a kid dobbing at school lol but unions and reps and keeping management in line is a good thing! Technically if it stalls his career prospects that's discrimination and the union can fight that too
09-05-2013 14:25 #7
Good on your husband. There should be more like him who speak up rather than keep quiet when they may not agree just to keep the peace. My motto is that if you have something to say speak up and fight for what you believe in.
09-05-2013 15:10 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
My father (now retired earlier than necessary) was a union type too, and I understand your concerns. He got worked up about everything, could never see the bigger picture and just fought over every stupid little trivial detail rather than choose the important battles. It really did him no favours - it just made him angry at his workplace, and made his employer and workmates angry at him. When he was younger I think he was genuinely motivated by wanting to make things better, but by the end he just seemed to really enjoy playing the martyr. We never could get Dad to see that much of what he was doing was self-defeating, and that there were some things not worth getting agitated about. Nor did he understand that he was turning himself into the "boy who cried wolf", so that is an important issue did arise, no-one was likely to listen.
As to how to help your DH to tone it down and choose which battles to fight - sorry, I don't know! Is there a way you can tactfully suggest to him that he get his workmates involved when there are big issues to raise, so that the spotlight is at least shared? Is there a committee that decides what issues to raise, so that it can at least be seen by management as a consensus decision?
09-05-2013 16:18 #9
First of all, good on him, it's people who stand up as 'union types' that have improved the working lives of generations imho.
As a few others have mentioned, is there a union delegate that he could try directing his concerns towards so he doesn't stand out to the company so much? If the boss is a bully generally then the union should help to make a case on the employees behalfs, not just your husband.
Perhaps if you could get him to encourage some other people to speak up and back him he'd not be the lone voice anymore and it would bring the issue to the GM more directly aswell. I can see how it would concern you for him to be getting labelled that way.
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