We had a lot of visitors while still in hospital (elective caesarian) and it was great! The third night we had over 20 people at once and it was such a joyful party - champagne, snacks, lots of laughter and DS slept on my arms on my boob for it all
My experience of visitors was so much better than I anticipated and I'd do it that way again.
Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app
+ Reply to Thread
Results 21 to 30 of 36
09-05-2013 05:18 #21
09-05-2013 05:55 #22
I had a tough labour and didn't tell many ppl that DS was born... We only had our parents and siblings visit in the hospital (we were discharged the next day)
Then once we were home we had only close friend visit... We wanted as much time as possible to bond with bubs ourselves, and even when our families came to visit they didn't hold or cuddles bubs..
09-05-2013 06:37 #23
For DS1 we had loads of visitors in hospital and when we got home. It was awful, I was trying to learn to breastfeed and I didn't get alone time with him. It didn't affect our bond but it took me so long to get his attachment right and I think if we'd been left alone I would have gotten it quicker.
DS2 I told everyone no one could come until DS1 had met him. He didn't get to come until the afternoon so I had all day just with DS2. He was great at feeding so I actually got really bored. After DS1 came I had heaps of visitors and I was happy to have them. I didn't have to do anything in the hospital and had no worries feeding in front of them.
Visitors at home suck! You have to get dressed and make your house or presentable, they expect you to entertain them even if they say they don't.
Anyway long story short, I liked all my visitors in the hospital but only after feeding is established. Babies sleep so much better in the first week.
09-05-2013 06:44 #24
We pretty much didn't tell anyone she was born for 3 days. Worked pretty well.
I think when you're ready. Take it easy. Maybe bring it up NOW that you are worried about visitors, that you want to be sure if they come over, that they might not get a cuddle and it might just be a quick visit, that people must leave when you ask and that people aren't offended, it's just your special time.
And if anyone is offended - tough titties.
Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
09-05-2013 07:48 #25
I had DD in a private hospital so stayed for about 5 nights. She was born at 8:30am on a Thursday and we only told our immediate family and my best friend (all had strict instructions to keep it to themselves - and off Facebook!). My parents live a few hours away so once I was in established labour we let them know it was happening. It turned out to be a long labour so they had plenty of time to drive up!
Our immediate family visited later that day during visiting hours (about 3pm) and it was great - everyone was really respectful and didn't stay too long. I think we were lucky she was born in the morning as we got most of the day to recover before seeing anyone.
We sent out a text to everyone else on Friday evening, after visiting hours so we wouldn't get visitors until the next day. I'd had an unexpected complication on the Thursday night and was pretty out of it on the Friday.
Once we got home we just asked that if anyone wanted to visit to please call or text first. In all honesty pretty much everyone did this anyway and most people tried to be helpful by bringing food or offering to do little things around the house. My parents were awesome, they had stayed at our house while we were in hospital but left before we got home so we could have a quiet day at home with just us and DD - and they cleaned the whole house top to bottom and stocked the freezer with meals just before they left!
09-05-2013 08:21 #26
This is one that gets me every time with dd1 everyone came and it was extreamly overwhelming the room was fully nd they all were passing her around like pass the passel which I hated it was making me pest and anxious friends came the next few days but no one came when we were home only parents which was good from all the passing around in hospital left her very unsettled once everyone left and was stressful getting her to not just feed but to settle.
Ds2 was terrible so unsettled hardly slept I was better at not letting many ppl hold him but it was still horrible
I'm now preg with ds3 and I'm not letting anyone hold him for first day and if they do like my parents or inlaws hey are not passing him around I'm not being left with an unsettled child and have to go home to my other two and deal with any extra stress.
I say if you dnt want people to hold baby put it in the crib facing you close to you and on a side that idiots wn be tempted to hang around them if they ask say mayb next time they have been bit unsettled and dnt want to re unsettle them .
Sme will be a bit annoyed as everyone comes for cuddles bu they need to respect your wishes what I wanna know is why as parents /mums we dnt want certain people holding our bubs or touching them etc but feel were being so rude by not allowing it I say who cares m the mum what says goes lol.
My inlaws make me more anxious about it all then anything but I'm gonna deal with it when it happens .
If u know your going to be stressed watching your new baby being passed around dnt allow it that way you won't be left in a crazy hormone mood it can be very overwhelming for oth mum and bub especially for your first bub.
09-05-2013 08:38 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
With DS Mum was visiting for Christmas so she was there when I went in for the emergency c-section & there when I came out. But she went & found somewhere to have coffee and read her book for several hours so dh, ds & I got to bond together.
Other than mum no one else was told until that night so we didn't get visitors till the next day.
This time all our family is going to be close by and there will be firm rules being put down. I'll be having a c-section again so no visitors other than mum & ds will be allowed for the first 24hrs, maybe longer. We probably won't tell mil till following day & she will be told if she cracks a tanty she will not be welcome to visit again! If I'm breast feeding people will be asked to leave the room - I don't like having an audience.
I think I'd rather have them visit in the hospital so I don't have to worry about cleaning the house etc. and they are pretty strict with visiting hours at the hospital I'm going to so they can only stay for very limited amount of time.
Crossing fingers the rules will make it less stressful for all of us.
09-05-2013 08:53 #28
Haven't read the replies but my baby is 6 days old and we had a homebirth. She was born at 640pm. My mum was there as a support person so she met her but my dad wanted to come that night and I'd only just finished being sutured do I said no to early!!
We'be had 1-2 sets of visitors every day and I think it's been too much. We are going to my dads for dinner tonight. I'm exhausted thinking about it.
We've also been busy with getting her tongue tie snipped, midwife appointment and her hearing screening and physio for me. The thing with a homebirth was we had to go out to do those things.
Anyway take the time away from visitors !
09-05-2013 09:11 #29
I think you will have to wait and see how you go and feel afterwards - I had a scheduled c section so everyone knew my date since I was 12 weeks pregnant and I told everyone we would call them when we were up for visitors as I was sure I would need a few days ( mum and MIL were at the hospital during the operation and got to see DS straight away which i loved) but honestly for me the operation was so easy and I felt so happy and excited I called everyone ( close family and friends) and they were all in my hospital room by 6pm ( 4 hours after operation)
It was great as they got to meet DS and even they were all shocked how calm I was! I was bored sitting in hospital for 5 days as DS slept most of the time and we had to wake him to feed him so I welcomed the visitors - but everyone's experience and recovery is different
When we got home we organised 2 afternoon teas and had everyone come over at the same time so we didn't have people turning up all the time , mum organised all the food /drinks so it was no stress at all
09-05-2013 10:56 #30
I must have been very tired on BH last night. I kept reading this thread title as "What is the best time to have visitors after Bath' instead of Birth! I read it back to myself a couple of times too and thought WTF. Ahh, a fresh day, fresh reaidng eyes!!
To answer the OP I had visitors the next day, ALL day with NO break (Even FOB's ex!!!!). I do not recommend it at all! While at the time I didnt mind because all my friends were gushing over DS, but looking back it would have been better for me to have family only for the next day. I cant really remember holding DS much at all that day.
By sunnyflower in forum General ChatReplies: 22Last Post: 07-11-2012, 13:45
By tubster in forum Pregnancy & Birth General ChatReplies: 2Last Post: 15-10-2012, 15:49
By nelle7250 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General ChatReplies: 16Last Post: 18-06-2012, 12:31
The MAMA CentrePregnancy, birth & beyond care with your very own midwife. Home & hospital birth support, VBACs, antenatal & postnatal ...
LATESTWhy it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at home
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
I has a funny funny #2Games & fun stuff
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
Miracle March TTC and Testing ChatConception & Fertility General Chat
Feeding a 9 month oldGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Married At First Sight 2017Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
Fulfilling our BabydreamsEgg Donation
Using home equityFamily Finances